Re: newcomers

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/4/02 3:43:31 PM Central Daylight Time,

KDEmerson2@... writes:

> But...I fear I will get upset in front of my Mom if she doesn't know me.

>

> Also, we want to take my Mom to the wedding- it will be small but sine I

> have learned that over stimulation can have a negative effect- suggestions

> on coping with the people, noise, and environment?

This is sounding like your mom is fairly far progressed with this monster.

You are new here and just getting the realities of living with the disease,

so maybe there hasn't been time to acclimate. Plus, you will have an expanse

of time after which you are likely to see disturbing changes. My husband had

a long bad spell this spring, and I can tell you that thanks to learning from

the experiences of others here I was able to handle it far better than had I

not known these things would happen some day. It was almost like, " well,

it's our turn now. "

If you do lose it because your mom doesn't know you, the probability is that

SHE won't remember. You are the one that will do the suffering. One thing

to watch for is Capgras Syndrome. Someone else here has another way of

putting it that is really good, but bottom line is that the patient

recognizes someone/something but doesn't connect it to the reality in front

of them. " You look just like my daughter. Who are you? " Or as my husband

was doing a few months ago, " This place is really decorated nice, isn't it?

It looks just like our house. "

As for the wedding, that might be a last minute decision, depending on what

kind of day she is having. If she's in a good spell and hasn't had a history

of anxiety due to unfamiliar experiences/places, she might do quite well.

But be prepared for the possibility that this could change on a moment's

notice.

My husband used to be a superb bridge player, but that is out now. I do get

him to join me for UNO, though, because he can usually manage it, it

stimulates him to think, and I can get a handle on how well he is doing

cognitively. Last week he was playing unusually well, beating the tar out of

me, moving quickly and decisively, was not confused, and even seemed to have

a strategy. Then the dementia veil crossed over his eyes. He lost his

focus, his speech faltered, spatial disorientation ran amuk, and when he

tried to get up from the table he was unable to do so without assistance, or

to walk. It was a walker/wheelchair evening. The next day he was alright

again. These spells are unpredictable and one never knows for how long they

will last.

So, long way to say, use your best judgement for the wedding and be prepared

" for anything. "

BTW, the REALLY good doctors recognize that we caregivers and family members

do indeed know more about this disease than they - at least the " living with

it " part, and sometimes the medications, too! This is the best educational

site I have found!

Cheryl

[Guest guest]

> Another welcome to the newcomers. I'm sorry you have someone with

> this awful disease but am glad you found this site since I know you

> will get alot of information here. I hope it will also be a source

> of comfort to you in knowing that others are going through similar

> draining experiences, you are not alone. We want to hear from

you.

>

> Mik

I have to say, I have learned more in the past few days since I found

this site than anywhere else. It is one thing to get information

from the doctors, but another to get it from the " real " people who

area coping with the disease.

Here is a question...I am taking leave for a week before I go out to

sea again. I am going home for my brother's wedding- his fiancee,

, asked me if I was " prepared " . I hadn't thought about what

changes have taken place with my Mom since my last visit in January.

They are not telling my Mom I am coming home- they (the staff and my

family) want to see how my Mom repsonds- knows me and my name. Since

my Mom was not diagnosed or treated for so long there is not good

baseline neuro-psych testing results to gauge her progression from-

just symptoms. I don't react to the things I hear from (she

send almost daily updates on my Mom's day) since I know it is the

disease. But...I fear I will get upset in front of my Mom if she

doesn't know me.

Also, we want to take my Mom to the wedding- it will be small but

sine I have learned that over stimulation can have a negative effect-

suggestions on coping with the people, noise, and environment?

[Guest guest]

Recently a wonderful letter was posted which gave calmness to some of my

fears. It was talking about an Alzheimers person, yet focused on the

dementia side of the disease. It stated that even though our loved one

may not be able to say our name, he/she will still know us. A bond has

been made from our touch, smell, companionship and love. I asked my dad

to say my name last night, yet was finally comforted in knowing when the

time comes that he isn't able to " say " my name, my heart knows he will

still " know " me. As for the over stimulation, I believe this to be

true. Maybe your mom can go to the wedding, yet as for a reception,

make an appearance and if your family notices she is not coping well

someone can leave with her. This disease fluctuates so much that it is

hard to say what kind of day she will be having the day of the wedding,

and just how she will cope. Take it one day at a time, and enjoy the

fact that she is still in your life to look at her face, hug her, and

spend time with. This whole coping/grieving process takes time, so

please allow yourself time to feel, think, and react to knowing your mom

has LBD. Do keep asking questions and venting as I have found it to be

somewhat therapeutic!

Sandie

Des Moines, IA

[Guest guest]

Cheryl

What a wonderful definition and explanation as to what all of us are

going through. I especially related to when you said it was almost like

" well its our turn now " . I too have learned of so many elses

experiences through this group which even though it doesn't take away

the disease, it eases my fears of the unknown. Thank you for the

wording you have given concerning so many different subjects all

relating to LBD. :-))

Sandie

[Guest guest]

KD,

I don't remember if you said the diagnosis is LBD, but I think you said

it was. With my 88 year old Mom, who lived with me three years after a

total breakdown 12 hours away because she wouldn't come live with me,

she knew there was something wrong. What some of the problem was was

her shame for not rememering. So I would suggest you just be you. And

if you saw her in Jan. and there aren't more physical problems, you are

probably going to be dealing with more mental problems and the more

honest you are with her, the more comfortable she will be with you.

I use to keep " child- like " in my mind, which allowed me to be less

demanding of her. My daughter does even better today when they laugh

about it. They can laugh and joke in ways I can't. And that's ok. I am

sure by the sounds of your emails, the most important message will come

across strongly to her and that is that you love her and wish you could

be near her at this time.

Good luck.

Donna

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand. Courtsey of The-Mouth.com

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/4/02 11:05:53 PM Central Daylight Time,

sanclown@... writes:

> Thank you for the wording you have given concerning so many different

> subjects all

> relating to LBD. :-))

Thank you for the compliment, Sandie. :-) Cheryl

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/5/02 3:03:12 PM Central Daylight Time,

KDEmerson2@... writes:

> How should I best broach subjects that I want to reassure my Mom about-

> since

> she does bring things up in her conversations?

Maybe wait for her to bring up her condition, unless there are things that

are just too obvious. I suspect that you have the kind of sensitivity that

will tell you when the time comes how best to talk this through. It's OK for

you to be helping you with this, too. We are so slammed by this disease and

its implications that we MUST do what we can to help ourselves through it,

too. We have a saying in Caregiver Land - if you don't take care of yourself

you can't take care of someone else. Like putting the oxygen mask on

yourself before putting one on the child in the next seat.

Cheryl

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/5/02 3:03:12 PM Central Daylight Time,

KDEmerson2@... writes:

> How should I best broach subjects that I want to reassure my Mom about-

> since

> she does bring things up in her conversations?

Maybe wait for her to bring up her condition, unless there are things that

are just too obvious. I suspect that you have the kind of sensitivity that

will tell you when the time comes how best to talk this through. It's OK for

you to be helping you with this, too. We are so slammed by this disease and

its implications that we MUST do what we can to help ourselves through it,

too. We have a saying in Caregiver Land - if you don't take care of yourself

you can't take care of someone else. Like putting the oxygen mask on

yourself before putting one on the child in the next seat.

Cheryl

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 2002-07-05 4:03:09 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

KDEmerson2@... writes:

> . Are photos good for a memory stimulus

word of caution, family pictures upset my husband terribly. We no longer look

at albums, or the framed ones on our shelves.

Ev

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 2002-07-05 4:03:09 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

KDEmerson2@... writes:

> . Are photos good for a memory stimulus

word of caution, family pictures upset my husband terribly. We no longer look

at albums, or the framed ones on our shelves.

Ev

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/5/02 1:00:04 PM Central Daylight Time,

cindy.riggs@... writes:

> She seemed just fine throughout the event, however, her group home reported

> that she was a " wreck " for 2 days after the event

He hasn't been a wreck yet, but it does take my husband several days to

recover from anything " socially strenuous. " These patients have a remarkable

ability (before getting too far along) to maintain social abilities, but as

someone else once told me, they seem to crash in the safety of their own

environment, with someone they know and trust.

Cheryl

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/5/02 1:00:04 PM Central Daylight Time,

cindy.riggs@... writes:

> She seemed just fine throughout the event, however, her group home reported

> that she was a " wreck " for 2 days after the event

He hasn't been a wreck yet, but it does take my husband several days to

recover from anything " socially strenuous. " These patients have a remarkable

ability (before getting too far along) to maintain social abilities, but as

someone else once told me, they seem to crash in the safety of their own

environment, with someone they know and trust.

Cheryl

[Guest guest]

Hi Sandie. What a wonderful response. I am the gal getting married!

is my soon to be sister-in-law (July 19th) and I have a question for

you. My Mother-in-law seems to cope well in a social setting (she does talk

to herself), however, it seems to be after she is back home when the " over

stimuli " seems to kick in.

Last month, my Mother-in-law attending a rather large barbecue at her sons

home. She seemed just fine throughout the event, however, her group home

reported that she was a " wreck " for 2 days after the event. Do you see this

type of " after effect " at all?

Thank you,

> Re: Re: newcomers

>

>

> Recently a wonderful letter was posted which gave calmness to some of my

> fears. It was talking about an Alzheimers person, yet focused on the

> dementia side of the disease. It stated that even though our loved one

> may not be able to say our name, he/she will still know us. A bond has

> been made from our touch, smell, companionship and love. I asked my dad

> to say my name last night, yet was finally comforted in knowing when the

> time comes that he isn't able to " say " my name, my heart knows he will

> still " know " me. As for the over stimulation, I believe this to be

> true. Maybe your mom can go to the wedding, yet as for a reception,

> make an appearance and if your family notices she is not coping well

> someone can leave with her. This disease fluctuates so much that it is

> hard to say what kind of day she will be having the day of the wedding,

> and just how she will cope. Take it one day at a time, and enjoy the

> fact that she is still in your life to look at her face, hug her, and

> spend time with. This whole coping/grieving process takes time, so

> please allow yourself time to feel, think, and react to knowing your mom

> has LBD. Do keep asking questions and venting as I have found it to be

> somewhat therapeutic!

> Sandie

> Des Moines, IA

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Yes, my 60 year old Mom was finally diagnosed with LBD just over a

month ago. It still pains me to know that my Mom knew something was

wrong and lived with her fear and illness as it grew worse (she was

already experiencing hallucinations before she was admitted to the

hospital for attempted diagnosis).

I look back on when my own worst fear coming true when I saw her

after almost of year in Sep 01. From the moment I saw my Mom I knew

something was desperately wrong- but I didn't want to be

confrontational so I decided to wait until I was going to be home a

few months later to tell my Mom my concerns...however, she didn't

last that long- her breakdown was less than six weeks after that

visit. I live with my regret and all the unanswered questions with

such a deep pain.

With my time at home so limited I want to maximize my visits...say

what I want to say to my Mom, except I don't know if my presence or

words will make a difference. Thank God my Mom knew without a doubt

how much I loved her and I would do anything in the world for her- my

desire is to talk to her about the LBD and what has happened the past

five or so years...what she is thinking, reassure her that she will

always be taken care of by us. I feel at this point what I say helps

me more than her. Are photos good for a memory stimulus? How should

I best broach subjects that I want to reassure my Mom about- since

she does bring things up in her conversations?

-- In LBDcaregivers@y..., mido101@w... wrote:

> KD,

>

> I don't remember if you said the diagnosis is LBD, but I think you

said

> it was. With my 88 year old Mom, who lived with me three years

after a

> total breakdown 12 hours away because she wouldn't come live with

me,

> she knew there was something wrong. What some of the problem was

was

> her shame for not rememering. So I would suggest you just be you.

And

> if you saw her in Jan. and there aren't more physical problems, you

are

> probably going to be dealing with more mental problems and the more

> honest you are with her, the more comfortable she will be with

you.

[Guest guest]

Yes, my 60 year old Mom was finally diagnosed with LBD just over a

month ago. It still pains me to know that my Mom knew something was

wrong and lived with her fear and illness as it grew worse (she was

already experiencing hallucinations before she was admitted to the

hospital for attempted diagnosis).

I look back on when my own worst fear coming true when I saw her

after almost of year in Sep 01. From the moment I saw my Mom I knew

something was desperately wrong- but I didn't want to be

confrontational so I decided to wait until I was going to be home a

few months later to tell my Mom my concerns...however, she didn't

last that long- her breakdown was less than six weeks after that

visit. I live with my regret and all the unanswered questions with

such a deep pain.

With my time at home so limited I want to maximize my visits...say

what I want to say to my Mom, except I don't know if my presence or

words will make a difference. Thank God my Mom knew without a doubt

how much I loved her and I would do anything in the world for her- my

desire is to talk to her about the LBD and what has happened the past

five or so years...what she is thinking, reassure her that she will

always be taken care of by us. I feel at this point what I say helps

me more than her. Are photos good for a memory stimulus? How should

I best broach subjects that I want to reassure my Mom about- since

she does bring things up in her conversations?

-- In LBDcaregivers@y..., mido101@w... wrote:

> KD,

>

> I don't remember if you said the diagnosis is LBD, but I think you

said

> it was. With my 88 year old Mom, who lived with me three years

after a

> total breakdown 12 hours away because she wouldn't come live with

me,

> she knew there was something wrong. What some of the problem was

was

> her shame for not rememering. So I would suggest you just be you.

And

> if you saw her in Jan. and there aren't more physical problems, you

are

> probably going to be dealing with more mental problems and the more

> honest you are with her, the more comfortable she will be with

you.

[Guest guest]

Congratulations on the upcoming wedding. So wonderful to see

sisters-in-law so concerned about a mom/mother-in-law. Wow, she must be

one very special lady and is so lucky to have so many people that love

her so much.

I don't see a lot of over stimuli in my dad as he doesn't get out much.

There is a real change in him when new staff is in the Alzheimers Unit

where he lives. It is a locked unit, and I have found the residents do

so much better with familiar faces...and not just my dad. I totally

agree with Bertha in that you could get someone to be assigned to your

mom, and with all the family sort of monitoring her, all could tell if

she needed to leave or just have a break from all of the social aspect

of the wedding or reception. It is so hard to say as one day, or even

minute for that matter, my dad is fine and the next---wheeee, big

change. Please keep asking questions and posting as you will find

friends, comfort, and knowledge in here.

Sandie

Des Moines, IA

[Guest guest]

Congratulations on the upcoming wedding. So wonderful to see

sisters-in-law so concerned about a mom/mother-in-law. Wow, she must be

one very special lady and is so lucky to have so many people that love

her so much.

I don't see a lot of over stimuli in my dad as he doesn't get out much.

There is a real change in him when new staff is in the Alzheimers Unit

where he lives. It is a locked unit, and I have found the residents do

so much better with familiar faces...and not just my dad. I totally

agree with Bertha in that you could get someone to be assigned to your

mom, and with all the family sort of monitoring her, all could tell if

she needed to leave or just have a break from all of the social aspect

of the wedding or reception. It is so hard to say as one day, or even

minute for that matter, my dad is fine and the next---wheeee, big

change. Please keep asking questions and posting as you will find

friends, comfort, and knowledge in here.

Sandie

Des Moines, IA

[Guest guest]

KD,

Mirrors as well as pictures tend to be a problem for some. When my Mom

sees me now, she doesn't remember that I am 62. She remembers what I

looked like long time ago, so it must not be me. And the mirror with her

own reflection has the same results. But she can't remember who those

people in pictures are and then has to admit she doesn't remember. I am

going to assume it is your picture you are worried she may not remember.

If you give her your picture, and others put your picture in her hands

while you talk to her, she will be constantly reminded. If you send your

picture in each letter, she may well remember until you get back.

My Mom still spend a lot of time " pretending " to remember. I think that

is another reason social events are so hard. In public or with others,

the LBD patient works at " not having a problem. "

This may account for the next two days of being exhausted which triggers

lots of problems for them. But the MDs and nhs have a much different

agenda than the family. The family want to maintain some sense of life

and nh doesn't want any more work. When your Mom was checked in, there

was rules of how often and how long you could take her out. You are

entitled to that. And you and Dad may find like many people here, he

will become more caregiver and less husband every day.

I continue, after close to 4 years, to live day by day. It is such a

difficult balancing act. It is like being on a high wire with no safety

net. And sometimes I fall off and know the best I can do is get back on

with more fears and do it again tomorrow. And in between that I try to

do all the real time things like pay bill, clean, work, etc.

This is a very very long grieving process. And there isn't much anyone

can do regarding outcome.

Donna

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand. Courtsey of The-Mouth.com

[Guest guest]

PS KD,

Hope the wedding goes well and everyone has a good time. The balancing

act begins.

Donna

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand. Courtsey of The-Mouth.com

[Guest guest]

,

Welcome to your family. I hope you read the note I sent to your sister

in law. I just happen to be at her message but I meant it for both of

you.

Especially that you have a wonderful wedding. You may need to remind

that you want her to not just caregiver, but to be a part of you

wedding.

My Mom spent a lot of time trying to convince me and lots of people, and

successfully so, that she was " just fine. " I think that is want is

exhausting for them.

Donna

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand. Courtsey of The-Mouth.com

[Guest guest]

Donna and

My dad also doesn't deal with mirrors, glass, or windows. Due to the

reflections, he tends to get VERY agitated and somewhat violent. Also,

when I used to show him pictures, or atleast remind him of the pictures

in his room of my boys or my nephews he gets VERY emotional. Wow, that

yanks at the heart strings. I still have pictures up in his room

(without glass covering them) and will mention my boys in conversations

but don't stay on any one subject too long. Just want to make my dads

life the happiest and highest quality possible...whatever that means at

this point.

Sandie

Des Moines, IA

[Guest guest]

OMG ,

Another coincidence. My younger brother was also recently married on June

1st. Mom wouldn't miss it for the world he is my family's pride and joy. But

in my mom's case like I said earlier her mind is very much in tact for the

most part. She almost didn't make the wedding. She made the wedding though,

could barely walk in. Didn't really hear much of the ceremony even though

she was sitting in the front seat. She was there but was having a really bad

day. When it came time for pictures she had to be carried up to the alter.

She could not get one foot in front of the other. During pictures she had to

be held up on both sides by my brother and one of my sons. After ward she

came into the reception area, stayed about 10 minutes and had to leave, due

to pain and being self conscious. Yes she is glad she came and we are all

glad and my brother is eternally grateful she could share his special day.

Good luck, every situation is different. I guess it really depends on if

your brother really wants her there. Take care, Shirley

>

>Reply-To: LBDcaregivers

>To: LBDcaregivers

>Subject: Re: newcomers

>Date: Thu, 04 Jul 2002 20:42:33 -0000

>

>

> > Another welcome to the newcomers. I'm sorry you have someone with

> > this awful disease but am glad you found this site since I know you

> > will get alot of information here. I hope it will also be a source

> > of comfort to you in knowing that others are going through similar

> > draining experiences, you are not alone. We want to hear from

>you.

> >

> > Mik

>

>I have to say, I have learned more in the past few days since I found

>this site than anywhere else. It is one thing to get information

>from the doctors, but another to get it from the " real " people who

>area coping with the disease.

>

>Here is a question...I am taking leave for a week before I go out to

>sea again. I am going home for my brother's wedding- his fiancee,

>, asked me if I was " prepared " . I hadn't thought about what

>changes have taken place with my Mom since my last visit in January.

>They are not telling my Mom I am coming home- they (the staff and my

>family) want to see how my Mom repsonds- knows me and my name. Since

>my Mom was not diagnosed or treated for so long there is not good

>baseline neuro-psych testing results to gauge her progression from-

>just symptoms. I don't react to the things I hear from (she

>send almost daily updates on my Mom's day) since I know it is the

>disease. But...I fear I will get upset in front of my Mom if she

>doesn't know me.

>

>Also, we want to take my Mom to the wedding- it will be small but

>sine I have learned that over stimulation can have a negative effect-

>suggestions on coping with the people, noise, and environment?

>

_________________________________________________________________

Chat with friends online, try MSN Messenger: http://messenger.msn.com

[Guest guest]

oops, didn't mean to say she was carried up to the alter, she was ALMOST

carried up, it would have been a lot easier and quicker. Shirley

>

>Reply-To: LBDcaregivers

>To: LBDcaregivers

>Subject: Re: Re: newcomers

>Date: Sun, 07 Jul 2002 00:55:13 -0700

>

>OMG ,

>Another coincidence. My younger brother was also recently married on June

>1st. Mom wouldn't miss it for the world he is my family's pride and joy.

>But

>in my mom's case like I said earlier her mind is very much in tact for the

>most part. She almost didn't make the wedding. She made the wedding though,

>could barely walk in. Didn't really hear much of the ceremony even though

>she was sitting in the front seat. She was there but was having a really

>bad

>day. When it came time for pictures she had to be carried up to the alter.

>She could not get one foot in front of the other. During pictures she had

>to

>be held up on both sides by my brother and one of my sons. After ward she

>came into the reception area, stayed about 10 minutes and had to leave, due

>to pain and being self conscious. Yes she is glad she came and we are all

>glad and my brother is eternally grateful she could share his special day.

>Good luck, every situation is different. I guess it really depends on if

>your brother really wants her there. Take care, Shirley

>

>

> >

> >Reply-To: LBDcaregivers

> >To: LBDcaregivers

> >Subject: Re: newcomers

> >Date: Thu, 04 Jul 2002 20:42:33 -0000

> >

> >

> > > Another welcome to the newcomers. I'm sorry you have someone with

> > > this awful disease but am glad you found this site since I know you

> > > will get alot of information here. I hope it will also be a source

> > > of comfort to you in knowing that others are going through similar

> > > draining experiences, you are not alone. We want to hear from

> >you.

> > >

> > > Mik

> >

> >I have to say, I have learned more in the past few days since I found

> >this site than anywhere else. It is one thing to get information

> >from the doctors, but another to get it from the " real " people who

> >area coping with the disease.

> >

> >Here is a question...I am taking leave for a week before I go out to

> >sea again. I am going home for my brother's wedding- his fiancee,

> >, asked me if I was " prepared " . I hadn't thought about what

> >changes have taken place with my Mom since my last visit in January.

> >They are not telling my Mom I am coming home- they (the staff and my

> >family) want to see how my Mom repsonds- knows me and my name. Since

> >my Mom was not diagnosed or treated for so long there is not good

> >baseline neuro-psych testing results to gauge her progression from-

> >just symptoms. I don't react to the things I hear from (she

> >send almost daily updates on my Mom's day) since I know it is the

> >disease. But...I fear I will get upset in front of my Mom if she

> >doesn't know me.

> >

> >Also, we want to take my Mom to the wedding- it will be small but

> >sine I have learned that over stimulation can have a negative effect-

> >suggestions on coping with the people, noise, and environment?

> >

>

>

>

>

>_________________________________________________________________

>Chat with friends online, try MSN Messenger: http://messenger.msn.com

>

_________________________________________________________________

Join the world’s largest e-mail service with MSN Hotmail.

http://www.hotmail.com

[Guest guest]

My mom was very worn out after the wedding but she was very glad she made it

and so was my brother. Without my mom's attendence my brother would have

been very sad, as it was we were all pretty sad to see her at such an

important event in the condition that she was. I broke down in tears shortly

after she arrived. But she made it, and is happy she did. Shirley

>

>Reply-To: LBDcaregivers

>To: " 'LBDcaregivers ' " <LBDcaregivers >

>Subject: RE: Re: newcomers

>Date: Fri, 5 Jul 2002 10:58:08 -0700

>

>Hi Sandie. What a wonderful response. I am the gal getting married!

> is my soon to be sister-in-law (July 19th) and I have a question

>for

>you. My Mother-in-law seems to cope well in a social setting (she does

>talk

>to herself), however, it seems to be after she is back home when the " over

>stimuli " seems to kick in.

>

>Last month, my Mother-in-law attending a rather large barbecue at her sons

>home. She seemed just fine throughout the event, however, her group home

>reported that she was a " wreck " for 2 days after the event. Do you see

>this

>type of " after effect " at all?

>

>Thank you,

>

>

>

> > Re: Re: newcomers

> >

> >

> > Recently a wonderful letter was posted which gave calmness to some of my

> > fears. It was talking about an Alzheimers person, yet focused on the

> > dementia side of the disease. It stated that even though our loved one

> > may not be able to say our name, he/she will still know us. A bond has

> > been made from our touch, smell, companionship and love. I asked my dad

> > to say my name last night, yet was finally comforted in knowing when the

> > time comes that he isn't able to " say " my name, my heart knows he will

> > still " know " me. As for the over stimulation, I believe this to be

> > true. Maybe your mom can go to the wedding, yet as for a reception,

> > make an appearance and if your family notices she is not coping well

> > someone can leave with her. This disease fluctuates so much that it is

> > hard to say what kind of day she will be having the day of the wedding,

> > and just how she will cope. Take it one day at a time, and enjoy the

> > fact that she is still in your life to look at her face, hug her, and

> > spend time with. This whole coping/grieving process takes time, so

> > please allow yourself time to feel, think, and react to knowing your mom

> > has LBD. Do keep asking questions and venting as I have found it to be

> > somewhat therapeutic!

> > Sandie

> > Des Moines, IA

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Another thing I forgot to mention, It was sad that my Dad had to miss out on

the wedding reception because of my mom. We had no one else to sit with her.

If we had to do it over I would have tried to find someone so he didn't have

to miss out. He is making great sacrafices for her which he does out of love

and commitment but also because she won't let anyone else do a thing for

her. She doesn't trust anyone. I am looking into some in home care in the

near future it at all possible. I was waiting for the right time and it is

coming close. My family fears that my dad will age rapidly if he keeps doing

all the work. I see it coming too. Shirley

>

>Reply-To: LBDcaregivers

>To: LBDcaregivers

>Subject: RE: Re: newcomers

>Date: Sun, 07 Jul 2002 01:25:55 -0700

>

>My mom was very worn out after the wedding but she was very glad she made

>it

>and so was my brother. Without my mom's attendence my brother would have

>been very sad, as it was we were all pretty sad to see her at such an

>important event in the condition that she was. I broke down in tears

>shortly

>after she arrived. But she made it, and is happy she did. Shirley

>

>

> >

> >Reply-To: LBDcaregivers

> >To: " 'LBDcaregivers ' " <LBDcaregivers >

> >Subject: RE: Re: newcomers

> >Date: Fri, 5 Jul 2002 10:58:08 -0700

> >

> >Hi Sandie. What a wonderful response. I am the gal getting married!

> > is my soon to be sister-in-law (July 19th) and I have a question

> >for

> >you. My Mother-in-law seems to cope well in a social setting (she does

> >talk

> >to herself), however, it seems to be after she is back home when the

> " over

> >stimuli " seems to kick in.

> >

> >Last month, my Mother-in-law attending a rather large barbecue at her

>sons

> >home. She seemed just fine throughout the event, however, her group home

> >reported that she was a " wreck " for 2 days after the event. Do you see

> >this

> >type of " after effect " at all?

> >

> >Thank you,

> >

> >

> >

> > > Re: Re: newcomers

> > >

> > >

> > > Recently a wonderful letter was posted which gave calmness to some of

>my

> > > fears. It was talking about an Alzheimers person, yet focused on the

> > > dementia side of the disease. It stated that even though our loved

>one

> > > may not be able to say our name, he/she will still know us. A bond

>has

> > > been made from our touch, smell, companionship and love. I asked my

>dad

> > > to say my name last night, yet was finally comforted in knowing when

>the

> > > time comes that he isn't able to " say " my name, my heart knows he will

> > > still " know " me. As for the over stimulation, I believe this to be

> > > true. Maybe your mom can go to the wedding, yet as for a reception,

> > > make an appearance and if your family notices she is not coping well

> > > someone can leave with her. This disease fluctuates so much that it

>is

> > > hard to say what kind of day she will be having the day of the

>wedding,

> > > and just how she will cope. Take it one day at a time, and enjoy the

> > > fact that she is still in your life to look at her face, hug her, and

> > > spend time with. This whole coping/grieving process takes time, so

> > > please allow yourself time to feel, think, and react to knowing your

>mom

> > > has LBD. Do keep asking questions and venting as I have found it to

>be

> > > somewhat therapeutic!

> > > Sandie

> > > Des Moines, IA

> > >

> > >

> > >