New Scientific Discoveries <VBG> [Fwd from friend]

[Guest guest]

<< ** Two new additions to the periodic table of elements:

Element Name: WOMAN

Symbol: WO

Atomic Weight: (don't even go there)

Physical properties: Generally round in form. Boils at nothing and may

freeze at any time. Melts whenever treated properly. Very bitter if

mishandled.

Chemical properties: Very active. Highly unstable. Possesses strong

affinity with gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. Volatile when

left alone. Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food.

Turns slightly green when placed next to a shinier specimen.

Usage: Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of

wealth. Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known.

Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands.

___________________________________________________

Element Name: MAN

Symbol: XY

Atomic Weight: (18050)

Physical properties: Solid at room temperature, but gets bent out of

shape easily. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Difficult to find a pure

sample.

Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as

young samples.

Chemical properties: Attempts to bond with WO any chance it can get.

Also tends to form strong bonds with itself. Becomes explosive when mixed

with KD (Element: Child) for prolonged period of time. Neutralize by

saturating with alcohol.

Usage: None known. Possibly good methane source. Good specimens are able

to produce large quantities on command.

Caution: In the absence of WO, this element rapidly decomposes and

begins to smell.

>>

>>