Re: OT Girlfriends was Jack LaLanne/Sex

February 8, 2004

In a message dated 2/8/04 12:31:07 PM Eastern Standard Time,

heidis@... writes:

> Maybe you need to join a different listgroup ... !

> Seriously, most of the folks now that I know that happily

> hooked up with someone great did so via a dating

> service of " meet a date " kind of situation.

Thanks for the tip. But the problem isn't really that I can't find anyone to

date. It's mostly that I don't have any money so I'm basically prohibited

from asking anyone on a date. The area I live in doesn't really have good

" cheap date " places either, like a good place for coffee.

I wouldn't really worry right now about finding the " right one. " I don't

really feel capable of falling in love again right now, though I suppose that

could change if I ran into the right woman.

Chris

February 8, 2004

>> Good ... you pass ... your girlfriend is fortunate! ;--)

>

>She'd be more fortunate if she were tangible rather than hypothetical...

>

>Chris

Maybe you need to join a different listgroup ... !

Seriously, most of the folks now that I know that happily

hooked up with someone great did so via a dating

service of " meet a date " kind of situation.

Those places have the advantage you have a lot

of people to choose from, and you can be as picky

as you want to be BEFORE you fall in love with someone.

I just hate it when I get a crush on some guy, we go

out ... then discover he smokes, or skydives, or is

vegetarian, or married ...

-- Heidi

February 8, 2004

Chris-

>I don't

>really feel capable of falling in love again right now,

-

February 8, 2004

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

> Thanks for the tip. But the problem isn't really that I can't find

anyone to

> date. It's mostly that I don't have any money so I'm basically

prohibited

> from asking anyone on a date. The area I live in doesn't really

have good

> " cheap date " places either, like a good place for coffee.

@@@@@@@@@@@

Why let yourself be beholden to the commercial conventions of

mainstream culture?? You don't just invite them over to your place

for some raw organ meat and fermented veggies? Works* for me....

Mike

SE Pennsylvania

*in the better moments of daydreams

February 8, 2004

wow! what romantic way of putting it!

what an image that conjures up!

;-)

Re: OT Girlfriends was Jack LaLanne/Sex

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

> Thanks for the tip. But the problem isn't really that I can't find

anyone to

> date. It's mostly that I don't have any money so I'm basically

prohibited

> from asking anyone on a date. The area I live in doesn't really

have good

> " cheap date " places either, like a good place for coffee.

@@@@@@@@@@@

Why let yourself be beholden to the commercial conventions of

mainstream culture?? You don't just invite them over to your place

for some raw organ meat and fermented veggies? Works* for me....

Mike

SE Pennsylvania

*in the better moments of daydreams

February 8, 2004

>@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

> > Thanks for the tip. But the problem isn't really that I can't find

>anyone to

> > date. It's mostly that I don't have any money so I'm basically

>prohibited

> > from asking anyone on a date. The area I live in doesn't really

>have good

> > " cheap date " places either, like a good place for coffee.

>@@@@@@@@@@@

>

>Why let yourself be beholden to the commercial conventions of

>mainstream culture?? You don't just invite them over to your place

>for some raw organ meat and fermented veggies? Works* for me....

>

>Mike

>SE Pennsylvania

I think a lot of women would run if you invited them over and served raw

organ meat. I think that is definitely something you should confine to your

daydreams. Now if you served them giant Thai waterbugs, it might be a

different story....

>*in the better moments of daydreams

>

February 8, 2004

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

> I think a lot of women would run if you invited them over and

served raw

> organ meat. I think that is definitely something you should confine

to your

> daydreams. Now if you served them giant Thai waterbugs, it might be

a

> different story....

>

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

Yeah, you're right. Chicks dig insects. Raw kidney steaks are

definitely for the second date...

Mike

SE Pennsylvania

February 8, 2004

In a message dated 2/8/04 2:45:14 PM Eastern Standard Time,

Idol@... writes:

> >I don't

> >really feel capable of falling in love again right now,

>

> <cough cough heartless libertarian cult psychology cough cough > ;->

It's more like falling in and out of love. I think that happens to

everyone... after you fall in love, it gets progressively harder to fall in love

each

time. That doesn't mean I don't get emotionally involved with people... not at

all.

Chris

February 8, 2004

I understand smokingh, vego, married ect but what would e wrong with

skydiving :-)

On his way down he could learn to hunt by hand ducks lol.

Speaking of online dating I know 2 ppl personally who have got married from

them.

But then there is myself and a cpl of other mates who have had just the

worst success. ( not even getting past a 1st date )

_____

From: Heidi Schuppenhauer [mailto:heidis@...]

Sent: Monday, 9 February 2004 2:54 AM

Subject: Re: OT Girlfriends was Jack LaLanne/Sex

>> Good ... you pass ... your girlfriend is fortunate! ;--)

>

>She'd be more fortunate if she were tangible rather than hypothetical...

>

>Chris

Maybe you need to join a different listgroup ... !

Seriously, most of the folks now that I know that happily

hooked up with someone great did so via a dating

service of " meet a date " kind of situation.

Those places have the advantage you have a lot

of people to choose from, and you can be as picky

as you want to be BEFORE you fall in love with someone.

I just hate it when I get a crush on some guy, we go

out ... then discover he smokes, or skydives, or is

vegetarian, or married ...

-- Heidi

February 8, 2004

PMSL,

Hey there cutie my name is . How would you like to come back to my

place for some raw liver and sourdough bread smothered in butter.

*SLAP* Hey we could have been good together! You could have been

healthy at least. ( Girl no longer within earshot )

Ah that funny

_____

From: Anton [mailto:michaelantonparker@...]

Sent: Monday, 9 February 2004 6:00 AM

Subject: Re: OT Girlfriends was Jack LaLanne/Sex

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

> Thanks for the tip. But the problem isn't really that I can't find

anyone to

> date. It's mostly that I don't have any money so I'm basically

prohibited

> from asking anyone on a date. The area I live in doesn't really

have good

> " cheap date " places either, like a good place for coffee.

@@@@@@@@@@@

Why let yourself be beholden to the commercial conventions of

mainstream culture?? You don't just invite them over to your place

for some raw organ meat and fermented veggies? Works* for me....

Mike

SE Pennsylvania

*in the better moments of daydreams

February 8, 2004

At 08:10 AM 2/9/04 +1000, you wrote:

> But then there is myself and a cpl of other mates who have had just the

> past a 1st date )

Are you trying to feed them raw kidney steaks and waterbugs on that first

date?

MFJ

It's finally happened. I'm slightly mad. Oh dear. ~Queen

February 8, 2004

>Thanks for the tip. But the problem isn't really that I can't find anyone to

>date. It's mostly that I don't have any money so I'm basically prohibited

>from asking anyone on a date. The area I live in doesn't really have good

> " cheap date " places either, like a good place for coffee.

That is the pits! I never thought about the cost of dating (we

usually split the tab, but it wasn't the biggest item on

my budget at the time, both of us were and are easy to

please for entertainment).

>I wouldn't really worry right now about finding the " right one. " I don't

>really feel capable of falling in love again right now, though I suppose that

>could change if I ran into the right woman.

Yeah, it could change. It's a good idea to figure out what you are

looking for BEFORE you run into someone though. So far the biggest

mistake I see happening is that people " settle " for someone they

know they don't want for a life-partner, but pretty soon they

end up being so entwined they can't date anyone else.

-- Heidi

February 8, 2004

>I understand smokingh, vego, married ect but what would e wrong with

>skydiving :-)

Having dated way too many guys who ended up in the emergency

wards. Gads, if I had a dime for every guy who said " Don't WORRY

so much. I know what I'm doing !!! " . I decided I wanted a guy that

I could visit without him being in rehab. Also, on the practical side

I wanted kids ... and did not want to end up raising them myself.

I got a guy with a healthy sense of self-preservation.

(Seriously, my first boyfriend wiped out his car and I spent a year

visiting him as he learned to use a wheelchair and function, sort of.

The next two wiped out in other ways -- they were very independent

sorts who didn't like the idea of state help until it was THEM in the

hospital!).

Actually one of the sexiest things about my DH is that

when we decided to get married he gave up flying small

planes, on the basis that " he needed to be sure to be

around for his kids " . THAT is marriage material.

>Speaking of online dating I know 2 ppl personally who have got married from

>them.

I got married thru a dating club ... he's perfect (for me!).

>But then there is myself and a cpl of other mates who have had just the

>worst success. ( not even getting past a 1st date )

I probably dated a couple of those ... ;--) There is the stereotype of the

" desperate woman " but the women I talked to at the dating club were

anything but desperate. Some of the men needed lessons, I think.

But the thing on a dating club is ... MOST of the dates don't get past

the first date, because both parties figure out quickly that this

isn't going to work, and part on good terms. That lets you sort

through a lot more people than you would otherwise, til you

meet a real match.

Me, I'm a VERY DIFFICULT person to match, I know that. But shor 'nuf,

somewhere there was someone who is about like me, only male.

-- Heidi

February 8, 2004

>It's more like falling in and out of love. I think that happens to

>everyone... after you fall in love, it gets progressively harder to fall in

love each

>time.

I kind of think the classic " falling in love " head over heels and losing

all disgression is a kind of illness ... I mean, it's FUN but it doesn't last

long and it makes people act really stupid. Which is why it makes great tragic

stories (like Camelot and Romeo and t). Not real good for real life.

-- Heidi

February 8, 2004

I think all of us here in the NT are all difficult to match because if ya

don't eat mcdonalds, kFC or use canola oil people look at you funny :-)

Part of the issue ive had with these dating services and so far not gotten

anywhere is the fact that its 10,000 guys to 4000 women ratio ( or alteast

feels it )

The women I have gone on a date with are expecting too much. Its like they

have this extra smorgasboard to pick from and are happy to bide their time

till they get EXACTLY what they want.

This I believe results in many of the broken relationships that do eventuate

from them. Because instead of just meeting someone. Getting to know them,

getting attracted to the good points you find. The girls seem to have this

checklist that won't be deviated from.

IE. If you don't have their exact look criteria u instant dismissed

You income level/education level. I have seen SO many girls list minimum

education and wages.

>Speaking of online dating I know 2 ppl personally who have got married from

>them.

I got married thru a dating club ... he's perfect (for me!).

>But then there is myself and a cpl of other mates who have had just the

>worst success. ( not even getting past a 1st date )

I probably dated a couple of those ... ;--) There is the stereotype of the

" desperate woman " but the women I talked to at the dating club were

anything but desperate. Some of the men needed lessons, I think.

But the thing on a dating club is ... MOST of the dates don't get past

the first date, because both parties figure out quickly that this

isn't going to work, and part on good terms. That lets you sort

through a lot more people than you would otherwise, til you

meet a real match.

Me, I'm a VERY DIFFICULT person to match, I know that. But shor 'nuf,

somewhere there was someone who is about like me, only male.

-- Heidi

February 8, 2004

>This I believe results in many of the broken relationships that do eventuate

>from them. Because instead of just meeting someone. Getting to know them,

>getting attracted to the good points you find. The girls seem to have this

>checklist that won't be deviated from.

Actually, my guy had a similar list ... A list isn't a bad idea. If you

know what you are looking for, you might recognize it

when you see it.

>IE. If you don't have their exact look criteria u instant dismissed

For me, looks were secondary (they were higher on the list for him).

>You income level/education level. I have seen SO many girls list minimum

>education and wages.

Wages were a big deal, for me. Has to do with the ability to raise kids ...

kids are pricey, and if you are a Mom, in our society, your ability to earn

$$$$$ is limited. Sad to say.

-- Heidi

February 8, 2004

Byron wrote:

> I think all of us here in the NT are all difficult to match because

> if ya don't eat mcdonalds, kFC or use canola oil people look at you

> funny :-)

I've only had one girlfriend, but I never had any trouble with her

(until I found out that she'd been lying about her age, but that's

another story). She was from China, though.

> The women I have gone on a date with are expecting too much. Its like

> they have this extra smorgasboard to pick from and are happy to bide

> their time till they get EXACTLY what they want.

I don't think that's unreasonable, although I suspect that you're

exaggerating the " exactly " part.

> This I believe results in many of the broken relationships that do

> eventuate from them. Because instead of just meeting someone. Getting

> to know them, getting attracted to the good points you find.

Who has time for that? Really good women are too few and far between for

me to be wasting time on the rest. If I can't find anything to like

after fifteen minutes, I'm not interested in looking any deeper.

> The girls seem to have this checklist that won't be deviated from.

That's perfectly reasonable, as long as it's kept to a manageable

length.

> You income level/education level. I have seen SO many girls list

> minimum education and wages.

So is that. Women tend to like successful men, and I don't think it's

just for the money. And yeah, if you're unemployed, even if it's because

of an injury, you're not going to have much luck in that department.

This is Heidi, I think:

> There is the stereotype

> of the " desperate woman " but the women I talked to at the dating club

> were anything but desperate.

I had one of those latch onto me once, although she was introduced to me

by a friend from work (some friend!). I bought her dinner once because

she asked (I probably should have seen a red flag then) nicely, and it

took me several months to convince her that I wasn't her boyfriend. Come

to think of it, she lied about her age, too. It's like I'm a magnet for

desperate, thirty-year-old Chinese women.

....I should probably learn to use that to my advantage.

February 9, 2004

Nothing wrong with 30 year old asian women mate. ( well atleast the ones who

take care of themselves ect )

And yes I have a thing for asian girls even though I a tall skinny white

fella :-)

_____

From: Berg [mailto:bberg@...]

Sent: Monday, 9 February 2004 5:37 PM