Re: Confessions of a Kefir-O-Phobe - was Food diary - kefir

March 9, 2004

At 12:46 AM 3/10/04 -0000, you wrote:

>For those purposes, just use the nutritional data for raw milk.

>There would be an insignificantly small difference in macronutrients,

>no difference in minerals, and minor differences in vitamins, like a

>little extra of some B-vitamins. [This is assuming your food diary

>isn't tracking nutrients like volatile aromatics and specific

>peptides and specific microbes; if you're a closet biochemist with a

>secret laboratory down there are and you are tracking these things,

>please tell me how to do it!]

Would it help if I performed a proper Mad Scientist Cackle just about now?

>Just remember that the milk you get

>[explanation for others: I personally know the farmers buys

>from] generally has more fat content than the 3.25% standard used in

>most " whole milk " data. I think something like 4% would be more

>accurate, if you want to convert it, but remember there is inherent

>imprecision in food diary calculations (and you burn calories by

>pushing buttons on calculators), so my advice is to just use the USDA

>whole bovine milk data: <usda.shim.net>.

Well, if the total fat content is higher, then theoretically the total

caloric content would be higher, therefore I could burn it all off just by

pushing those extra numbers into the calculator.

>

>BTW, , why are you asking about kefir when you don't even like

>it? :-) Or have you found The Truth and The Light and joined us to

>worship in The Church of Sour?

Ah, well. *sigh* ... the truth will out sometimes.

A little while ago, some chick named Helga, whilst prancing about in some

sort of spandex, accessorized with a cape and a very odd-looking breadstick

(tres fashionable, though) ... mentioned that a daily intake of three

teaspoons of kefir was probably enough to reap a decent amounts of the

benefits of the brew. Not having a lot of meat defrosted at the time to

use up that quart of kefir that I already had for marinating, I decided

that even *I* could handle choking down three teaspoons per day.

Actually, what I did was just start swigging from the jug (well, you can DO

that when there's no one else to complain about it!). I figured any

given swig was worth about a tablespoon rather than a teaspoon, and more is

betterer, right?

Well, on Day One, I thought " Hey, this isn't so bad, I guess I can do this. "

On Day Two I actually had four or FIVE swigs, not just three. More is

betterer?

On Day Three I began to exhibit some tiny warning signs of addictive

behavior (as warned by Helga) ... One Swig Is Never Enough! Must have

TWO! At a TIME!!!

Today I'd worked my way up to about 20 swigs. Tomorrow I think I might

break down and actually pour a glass and just drink from that. Terribly

(too?) civilized, I know. It might take some of the fun out of it ...

prancing around carrying my cute little quart of kefir that looks like a

Munchkin's version of a gallon milk jug is just too much fun. Especially

with the cute little pink cap on it.

Oh. And I've sent off a check to get me own grains even.

Rupert - who will wait for a week or so for Mr. to stop laughing and

get control of himself again.

Just remember - I may be drinking kefir, but I will NEVER join the Church

of Sour!

(sure, check back with me in a year and see if I like sauerkraut!)

March 9, 2004

@@@@@@@@@@ MFJ:

> Today I'd worked my way up to about 20 swigs. Tomorrow I think I

might

> break down and actually pour a glass and just drink from that.

Terribly

> (too?) civilized, I know. It might take some of the fun out of

it ...

> prancing around carrying my cute little quart of kefir that looks

like a

> Munchkin's version of a gallon milk jug is just too much fun.

Especially

> with the cute little pink cap on it.

>

> Oh. And I've sent off a check to get me own grains even.

@@@@@@@@@@@@@

Wow, there is hope for you yet !! That is a major lifestyle

breakthrough!!

I want to mention that the first time I ever had real kefir (I had

drank various commercial pseudo-kefirs previously), it was from one

of the same little cute milk jugs from the same farmer, and I as I

drove off to start my new life with my purchase in one hand and in my

other hand a tiny jar with some grains right from the gallon batch of

kefir fermenting in his kitchen, I unscrewed the cute little pink cap

and started to swig with full spiritual intensity. It's remarkable I

was able to complete the five minute drive back home in such a state

of rapture and bliss, and I made a point of restraining myself and

only drinking half at first. But as soon as I reached MP-central and

walked in the door, I was overtaken by desire and resumed swigging

with transcendental engagement. <resists the urge to insert

fictional embellishment about fainting or the like> Between the seal

on the container and the few days of secondary fermentation it had

undergone in storage at his place, that was one mean quart-sized fizz

machine of viscous blissness. So on that afternoon of February 7th,

2003, that quart lasted all of about 15 minutes and my home has been

a kefir temple ever since!

Okay, where's the Kleenex...

Mike

SE Pennsylvania

The best way to predict the future is to invent it. --Alan Kay

March 10, 2004