For Dawn: Breastfeeding Question

[Guest guest]

Dawn wrote:

How long did you breastfeed for? I was going to stop at a year, but

a really LOOOOOOOOVES her milk, so I don' think that will be

feasible. I'm gettingnready to start seeing weird looks and to

hearing comments about her being too big to breastfeed. People

already make comments that I should put a in a stroller instead

of carrying her in a carrier (the Italians are very opinionated and a

bit nosy). I guess I'll just continue being the crazy American who

eats strangely (I don't give a pasta. What a mean mother I am!

) and " spoils " her daughter (they actually told me at the hospital

just a few hours after the birth that I shouldn't hold a too

much or I would " spoil " her!).

************

Dawn,

I'm curious about the Italian attitude towards breastfeeding. Last

year, I was vacationing with a few couples, one of which had a

two-year-old. The mother breastfed her son at the dinner table--I

didn't think anything of it, but later another couple couldn't stop

talking about how DISGUSTING it was that she would feed her baby in

front of everyone. They said they could hardly finish their meal

because of it. Being an opinionated loudmouth, I told them they should

examine their own attitudes towards breastfeeding and women's bodies

in general. I pointed out that he was having dinner just like the

rest of us and that it wasn't very fair to the mother to have to hide

herself in another room and miss out on the adult conversation while

she fed her son. The woman of the outraged couple (who is American,

but was born in Italy) said that no Italian woman would ever consider

breastfeeding in public, much less at the sacred dining table. She

said that all babies are breastfed in Italy, but *not* so that anyone

can see them.

I thought her attitude might have to do with Catholic attitudes

towards the body. Any thoughts?

(who has no children yet, but knows EXACTLY how she'll raise

them when the time comes!)

ps-If you haven't read it yet, " The Continuum Concept " is a wonderful

testimony to " attachment parenting " (extended breastfeeding, sling

use, co-sleeping, etc.) and might provide some support for your ideas.

[Guest guest]

>I thought her attitude might have to do with Catholic attitudes

>towards the body. Any thoughts?

A couple of hundred years ago, Italy was still Catholic, but

folks breastfed in public all the time. I think it has to do

with the introduction of baby formula.

Heidi Jean

[Guest guest]

----- Original Message -----

From: " "

The woman of the outraged couple (who is American,

> but was born in Italy) said that no Italian woman would ever consider

> breastfeeding in public, much less at the sacred dining table. She

> said that all babies are breastfed in Italy, but *not* so that anyone

> can see them.

Um. I guess I need to share with my Italian friend....who nurses a 3.5 yo

at this moment.....in public.....that she isn't who she thinks she is....

<R & D>

--s

[Guest guest]

>>> I pointed out that he was having dinner just like the

rest of us and that it wasn't very fair to the mother to have to hide

herself in another room and miss out on the adult conversation while

she fed her son.<<<

Years ago, I went back to work when my ds was still being breastfed. At

lunch-time I was trying to find somewhere private I could express for him. One

of the women said, 'the last lady that was doing that used the ladies room'. I

said 'would you like your lunch prepared in there?'. She didn't say much more

and found me an office to use.

Cheers,

Tas'.

[Guest guest]

>

> How long did you breastfeed for? I was going to stop at a year, but

> a really LOOOOOOOOVES her milk, so I don' think that will be

> feasible. I'm gettingnready to start seeing weird looks and to

> hearing comments about her being too big to breastfeed. People

> already make comments that I should put a in a stroller instead

> of carrying her in a carrier (the Italians are very opinionated and a

> bit nosy). I guess I'll just continue being the crazy American who

> eats strangely (I don't give a pasta. What a mean mother I am!

> ) and " spoils " her daughter (they actually told me at the hospital

> just a few hours after the birth that I shouldn't hold a too

> much or I would " spoil " her!).

> ************

>

> Dawn,

>

> I'm curious about the Italian attitude towards breastfeeding. Last

> year, I was vacationing with a few couples, one of which had a

> two-year-old. The mother breastfed her son at the dinner table--I

> didn't think anything of it, but later another couple couldn't stop

> talking about how DISGUSTING it was that she would feed her baby in

> front of everyone. They said they could hardly finish their meal

> because of it. Being an opinionated loudmouth, I told them they should

> examine their own attitudes towards breastfeeding and women's bodies

> in general. I pointed out that he was having dinner just like the

> rest of us and that it wasn't very fair to the mother to have to hide

> herself in another room and miss out on the adult conversation while

> she fed her son. The woman of the outraged couple (who is American,

> but was born in Italy) said that no Italian woman would ever consider

> breastfeeding in public, much less at the sacred dining table. She

> said that all babies are breastfed in Italy, but *not* so that anyone

> can see them.

>

> I thought her attitude might have to do with Catholic attitudes

> towards the body. Any thoughts?

Yes, it has a lot to do with Italy being a very conservative country

in some respects (not everything...nudity and cursing is allowed on

TV). It tend to be ten years or more behind the US in certain things

(i.e. the low fat craze is still big over here...although that could

also have something to do with their love of pasta and pizza). But

not all Italians are repulsed by public breastfeeding. A number of my

friends are comfortable with it and do it themselves. And a large

number of Italian women do breastfeed for at least the first few

months if not more. However, I think there are plenty of Americans

who would also be disgusted by public breastfeeding and an older child

nursing. Perhaps its more of a Western phobia. We've slowly gotten

back into breastfeeding, but people still seem to have qualms about it

going past a year or so. I think maybe we in the West view women's

bodies, and especially their breasts, as something sexual rather than

nuturing (just think of how many women get boob jobs). So there's

some sort of phobia against prolonged breastfeeding as a type of

sexual abuse. However, that's just my opinion.

It's funny if you had asked me pre-baby if I would have continued

nursing for so long and if I would have been into slinging and

co-sleeping, I probably would have said " no way " . But now that

a is here in my arms it is just so natural. And there is

nothing disgusting about that.

I'll have to check out that book you mentioned.

Ciao,

Dawn

>

> (who has no children yet, but knows EXACTLY how she'll raise

> them when the time comes!)

>

> ps-If you haven't read it yet, " The Continuum Concept " is a wonderful

> testimony to " attachment parenting " (extended breastfeeding, sling

> use, co-sleeping, etc.) and might provide some support for your ideas.

[Guest guest]

>

> I'll have to check out that book you mentioned.

>

> Ciao,

>

> Dawn

> >

You might enjoy this article Dawn:

http://www.continuum-concept.org/reading/in-arms.html

regards, Bruce

" Good broth will resurrect the dead. " - South American proverb

[Guest guest]

Yes, I was the same way! I realized how much our American way of

raising babies was influencing me. Once I HAD my baby, my instincts

kicked in and there was NO WAY I was going to let her cry in a crib

in the other room just so I could train her to sleep through the

night. I'm not sure why we are so obsessed with sleeping through the

night, but most other cultures (and ours in the recent past) slept

with their babies. I've found it sure makes night feedings much

easier and less stressful! Another good book you might find

interesting is Our Babies, Ourselves. It is about how other cultures

handle babies.

Becky

>

> It's funny if you had asked me pre-baby if I would have continued

> nursing for so long and if I would have been into slinging and

> co-sleeping, I probably would have said " no way " . But now that

> a is here in my arms it is just so natural. And there is

> nothing disgusting about that.

>

> I'll have to check out that book you mentioned.

>

> Ciao,

>

> Dawn

> >

> > (who has no children yet, but knows EXACTLY how she'll

raise

> > them when the time comes!)

> >

> > ps-If you haven't read it yet, " The Continuum Concept " is a

wonderful

> > testimony to " attachment parenting " (extended breastfeeding, sling

> > use, co-sleeping, etc.) and might provide some support for your

ideas.