Re: Question for Christie re: obese friend

[Guest guest]

I'm not Christie, but I've struggled with my weight all my life. I'm

losing weight SLOWLY eating NT and trying to avoid excess carbs. I

don't own a scale so I don't know how much I've lost but it's been at

least 20 lbs since my heart attack 2 years ago (when I was NOT eating

NT).

> She kept it for about a week & then

> returned it to my sister without comment.

Translation: She looked through the book, said, " This is for thin

people, " and put it aside.

> So, I'd guess

> that someone who's overweight wouldn't appreciate words from 2 thin

> sisters!

Personally I'd be highly offended unless I'd asked for the advice. (I

wouldn't now; now I just listen and nod politely.)

Good luck with the CFS; I have fibro and am just getting over the first

really bad flare I've had since I got pregnant 4 years ago. (I think it

coincided with an actual case of the flu but it's so hard to tell with

fibro!)

Best,

Lynn

------

Lynn Siprelle * web developer, writer, mama, fiber junky

http://www.siprelle.com * http://www.thenewhomemaker.com

http://www.democracyfororegon.com * http://www.wisforwomen.com

[Guest guest]

At 02:41 PM 8/31/04 -0700, you wrote:

>> She kept it for about a week & then

>> returned it to my sister without comment.

>

>Translation: She looked through the book, said, " This is for thin

>people, " and put it aside.

Alternate translation: " This is too much trouble, I'm not ready for this. "

MFJ

Everything connects. The Universe is not THAT chaotic. Beauty can

still be found in the most amazing places.

[Guest guest]

, thank you for a lovely and thoughtful post!

Putting myself in your sister's friend's shoes, I would say that at any time

in my life, I'd have reacted negatively to either of you saying anything to

me about how I eat or my weight. Whether that is right or wrong, reasonable

or unreasonable, healthy or unhealthy, it's how I suspect pretty much

everyone with a weight problem or eating disorder would react.

Just accept her and support her in general terms, and let her be. She'll

find her way, or she won't, but I don't think this particular situation is

one that you or your sister can be helpful with.

You already loaned her NT, which I think was a great idea, and perhaps a

seed was planted that will take root one day in the future. I'd let it go

beyond that. Except maybe invite her to dinner and serve some of the meals.

<G>

Christie

[Guest guest]

<christiekeith@c...> wrote:

> Putting myself in your sister's friend's shoes, I would say that at

> any time in my life, I'd have reacted negatively to either of you

saying anything to me about how I eat or my weight.

<snip>

> You already loaned her NT, which I think was a great idea, and

perhaps a seed was planted that will take root one day in the future.

> I'd let it go beyond that. Except maybe invite her to dinner and

>serve some of the meals.

You know, when I think of what's motivated me to make changes in my

life, it's almost always been *observing* an admirable trait/behavior

in someone else and wanting to be like that. So, thank you, Christie

and Lynn, for the advice that the most helpful thing would be for me

not to say anything.

Inviting her to dinner is something I hadn't thought of. I'm on a

small disability income and spend most of it on good food. I rarely

invite others over for a meal because the food I eat is so

expensive! But maybe I should consider having guests at least every

few months or so...

[Guest guest]

>Inviting her to dinner is something I hadn't thought of. I'm on a

>small disability income and spend most of it on good food. I rarely

>invite others over for a meal because the food I eat is so

>expensive! But maybe I should consider having guests at least every

>few months or so...

>

>

You can invite them to bring the ingredients too! Say you are cooking

a special menu and be specific about what you need. We used

to do a lot of " everyone brings something " dinners ... they were a

lot of fun and no one person had to bear the cost.

FWIW several folks who have " observed " our family have

started cooking more NT. Granted they DO eat here a lot ... since

I can't eat out easily I just invite folks over. One person is now GF

and when she visited, we spent the time packaging GF " bread mix "

so she could make pizza for her hubby. It was fun! We had a regular

assembly line going. I've also had folks over to learn to make kimchi,

sent them home with kefiili starters and handouts.

I've been chronically overweight for the last 10 years or so, now

I'm back to " normal looking " anyway, but it's a hard subject to

bring up if you are skinny. Way too emotional, and it feels impossible

to change, and what the heck would a skinny person know about it

anyway? NT by itself is not necessarily a panacea for weight problems:

Atkins is for some folks, but other folks have tried it and failed (or

gained the weight back) so there is no way, at this point in time, to

know what will work for someone else, no " one size fits all " . But

you can let her know you like her and have some ideas, and are

willing to be a sounding board as she figures stuff out.

Heidi Jean