Re: OT: Help For the Over Acheivers

[Guest guest]

Caroline,

Thank you for this post! This is great and very

helpful information!

Love, Kim

--- wrote:

>

> Hi all,

>

> I had sent this information to Sue 2 in a private

> email and she said she thought that many in the

> group would find it helpful. She said she loved the

> following " Helps for Over Achievers " and planned to

> use the ideas as part of her New Years Resolution.

> On the off chance that any more of you would like to

> do the same thing, here you go... Remember... DO NOT

> ATTEMPT to do all of this at once. You will make

> yourself crazy. Pick something and work on it a week

> or two, then add another idea. I have done

> everything on the list, and I admit I am now much

> healthier for the changes. I still slip every now

> and then, but that is what I have the list for. I

> hope you find this beneficial.

>

> Caroline

>

> STAY BALANCED!

>

> Thank you for reminding me to be good to myself. I

> have always taken care of everyone else and take

> care of me last. At least until May 2001. I have

> been pretty much " crashed " since then, and everyone

> takes care of me. (The Dragon got me off guard,

> temporarily!)

>

> Here are some thoughts that helped me cope with

> " Over-achievers Syndrome " (from my doctors)

>

> 1- Why do you think they call it OVER-achieving?

>

> 2- Do you think anyone has time to do in one day all

> YOU think you should?

>

> 3- Your type of " perfection " is not possible because

> it is not balanced. People are not perfect. If you

> make mistakes, ONLY THEN are you a perfect human.

> (Think about it)

>

> 4- What is the first thing that pops into your head

> when someone offers praise? Do you disqualify the

> positive with something like " I should have done it

> sooner, or better, or faster... " ? Do you think " all

> or nothing / black or white with no in-betweens " ? IF

> your first thought is a negative one, be aware of

> that and consciously make yourself think something

> positive instead.

>

> 5- If someone says they are proud of you, or love

> you, or think you did something great, they are

> entitled to their opinion and their opinion is not

> debatable. Accept it at face value. (Not with

> negative self talk like: " I am such a horrible

> parent... I am a terrible friend... Why do you put

> up with me? I'm never good enough to meet my own

> standards... " )

>

> 6- Do something every day to self nurture, to make

> yourself feel good about who you are.

>

> 7- Keep a " Love Journal " and record all the nice

> things people in your life do for you, or say to

> you... so you can see how many people care, and

> learn to think positive. (NO fair disqualifying

> someone because " they were just a customer, they

> don't count... or I hardly know the person so they

> did not mean it... etc. Refer to # 5)

>

> 8- 1) Don't sweat the small stuff. 2) It's all small

> stuff. 3) If you can't fight, and you can't flee,

> just flow.

>

> 9- Keep a " Spatter Book " (A stenographers notebook

> works well. It is divided in the middle) Only one

> page per day allowed. At the top of the page, list

> the 6 MOST IMPORTANT THINGS TO DO TODAY. Be time

> conscious. If you get up at 6 AM and go to bed at 10

> PM (to allow the reccommended 8 hours of sleep) you

> only have 16 hours left. First, calculate how much

> time it takes to get out of bed, shower, dress, eat

> your meals, and other self care needs. Be realistic.

> Eating should take at least 15 minutes, so 3 meals

> would be 45 minutes. It takes me an hour to eat,

> dress, take meds, do my temp, pulse and blood sugar,

> clean bedroom, do hair and makeup and make lunch.

> (not rushing, but not playing around)

>

> Next, calculate how much time you spend each day

> driving, to work, for kids or daycare, to the

> doctor, ect. It took me 20 minutes to drive to and

> from work so that would be 40 minutes off the 16

> hours on the days I worked. After you have

> calculated time for personal care, drive time, and

> work, how much time do you have left? That is the

> amount of time you have to get other stuff done,

> like pay bills, buy groceries, get gas, clean house,

> do laundry. Calculate how long it will take you to

> get each thing done. BE REALISTIC! You are not

> allowed to do more things than you have time for.

>

> The general rule of thumb is that you can accomplish

> 6 things each day and feel good about it. Six things

> would go like this: work 8 hours, wash / dry / fold

> one or two loads of laundry, read mail / make phone

> calls for 1 hour (done throughout the day

> sometimes), clean the bath room (each room, fully

> cleaned, it one task), go to store and put things

> away when returning home, self nurture time. My list

> used to be packed, and I would get 8-10 major things

> done each day, which is why I burned out. Now, my

> list looks like this: 1-get out of bed (maybe make

> it), 2- get dressed, 3- take meds and vitals, 4-

> eat. (OK, now rest because I am exhausted...thinking

> about what to do next) 5- eat lunch, more meds and

> vitals. Maybe read email. (resting again, fever over

> 100) 6- exercise? fold a load of laundry? (someone

> else washes/drys it) put away laundry? (mine and

> husbands only) read mail? Make phone calls? Pay a

> bill or resolve a problem? go to a doctor?

>

> 1-5 take every ounce of energy I have right now. So,

> now, for me, If I do any of the # 6 list, or even

> more than one thing on the list, I am grateful. Yes,

> I used to be able to do all of 1-6 and then some,

> but I can't right now. If I can accomplish 1 thing,

> it was a good day. The whole point of the 6 most

> important things list is to help you get a realistic

> idea of what is truly possible. When you begin to

> see that you scheduled yourself for 20 hours and

> only have 16, it is easier to stop being so hard on

> yourself. What does not get accomplished one day can

> be moved to the next, and the most important things

> may change on a daily basis depending on what is

> happening, or needs to be cared for. If you have

> lots of big projects (clean kitchen cupboards, paint

> a room, clean a closet, plant flowers, etc) Use your

> calander. Set one or two weekends a month aside and

> asign a project to each weekend. You MUST keep 2 of

> your weekends free to do family, recreation, rest

> things. When your mind is in a whirl about all you

> have to do, jot it down, asign it a day or weekend,

> and forget about it.

>

> Hope this is useful information, from one over

> achiever, work a holic, type A perfectionist to

> another.

>

> Smile, and have a great day. You deserve it!

>

>

>

> ---------------------------------

>