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I was very intrigued by this response (below). In my individual

therapy, my therapist trusts me to bring whatever I feel is pertinent

to the session and we'll work with it (it always seems to work out

very well). My marriage counselor has a decidedly different

approach - she's a big fan of " homework assignments. " Like Rita, I

have always hated this, and while I never proudly announced that I

would not do them (you go girl), I managed to squirm out of most of

them one way or another (it helps that my husband doesn't like doing

them either!). I never understood why I didn't want to do them.

Were they pushing my boundaries? And if so, was it a good push or a

bad push? And if it was a good push, why was I resisting so mightily

when I'm so eager to go at stuff normally? Rita brings a new (and

appreciated) perspective to this. Maybe I interpret my homework

assignments as my therapist saying - " I (meaning my therapist) will

decide what is and is not important here, and I will decide what we

will work on. " The implicit message being that the way *I* think and

feel is not important (hello Monster Mommy, so *good* to see you

again). Can we say trigger? Whether that's truly her message, or

just my distortion is something I'll have to think about....

--Anon

>

> In a message dated 11/7/00 1:03:22 AM, WonderrKid@a... writes:

>

> << And, we've got one topic on the table already -- authority. >>

>

> Yo O's,

>

> I have a giant problem with authority. When I first started seeing

>my therapissant, Dr. S. in '90 he gave me a list of directives to

>do. I told him that I did not take directives from him because I've

>been told what to do by my mother for my whole life. He kept trying

>to give me assignments and then would ask if I did them in the next

>sesssions. I would deliberately and proudly announce that I would

>not, and will not take orders from him. I told him that it stemmed

>directly from my mom and *control*. I cannot stand to be controlled

>or bossed around.

>

> Rita

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