RE: QUESTION: Borderline nada/fada types...

[Guest guest]

Mine was probably the closest to the " Queen " since she seemed to

drag me along everywhere she went and never cared about the results

to my life.

" Self-centered child " also would be a good description!

Ilene in TX

[Guest guest]

My mother was the witch. She always picked on one person or one group of

people, hating them with all her heart. This is the one group that I feel

has the most antisocial traits. Thank God my mother was female. She

might've ended up being a serial killer. God only knows what made her the

way she is. I really don't care.

_________________________________________________________________

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[Guest guest]

My mother was the witch. She always picked on one person or one group of

people, hating them with all her heart. This is the one group that I feel

has the most antisocial traits. Thank God my mother was female. She

might've ended up being a serial killer. God only knows what made her the

way she is. I really don't care.

_________________________________________________________________

Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com

[Guest guest]

I would have to characterize my nada under the queen column, but she slides

into the witch column often...

[Guest guest]

I would have to characterize my nada under the queen column, but she slides

into the witch column often...

[Guest guest]

I think my nada would be WAIF mixed with QUEEN (about 50/50).

--Anon

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[Guest guest]

I think my nada would be WAIF mixed with QUEEN (about 50/50).

--Anon

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[Guest guest]

Hi Edith,

i love these descriptions...with such a complex problem, it's hard to place

nada in one category but i think she's mostly the WAIF with a dash of QUEEN

and a pinch of HERMIT thrown in

regards,

jekyll hyde

>

>Reply-To: ModOasis

>To: ModOasis

>Subject: QUESTION: Borderline nada/fada types...

>Date: Sun, 28 Jan 2001 23:20:42 -0800

>

>Hi All,

>

>Suppose we were to group our BPD nadas/fadas based on four different

>character profiles -- ie, the Waif, the Hermit, the Queen/King, and the

>Witch. We're looking for their predominant character type, although they

>may also exhibit characteristics of one or more of the others.

>

>The question is:

> Which of the following most closely characterizes your nada/fada

>(although it is written in the feminine -- ie, her)?

>

>The WAIF

>THE DARKNESS WITHIN THE BPD WAIF IS *FEAR*

> His/her inner experience is victimization, and her behavior evokes

>sympathy and caretaking from others. Like Cinderella, the waif can be

>misleading as she can appear to have it together for a short time.

>Internally, she feels like an imposter, and even if invited to the ball

>feels unworthy. The Waif, like Cinderella, was a victim of childhood

>abuse or neglect. Was treated as inferior, or was emotionally

>denigrated. The waif's emotional message is:

>LIFE IS TOO HARD.

>

>The HERMIT

>THE DARKNESS WITHIN THE BPD HERMIT IS *FEAR*

> His/her behavior evokes anxiety and protection from others. Like Snow

>White, the Hermit feels like a frightened child hiding from the world.

>The Hermit fears letting anyone in because she was hurt by someone she

>trusted. She is vigilant about watching for danger and may be

>superstitious. The Hermit's emotional message to her children is:

>LIFE IS TOO DANGEROUS.

>

>The QUEEN/KING

>THE DARKNESS WITHIN THE BPD QUEEN IS *EMPTINESS*

> His/her inner experience is deprivation and her behavior evokes

>compliance. The Queen feels entitled to exploit others and can be

>vindictive and greedy. The Queen's emotional message to her children is:

>LIFE IS 'ALL ABOUT ME'.

>

>The WITCH

>THE DARKNESS WITHIN THE BPD WITCH IS ANNIHILATING *RAGE*

> His/her inner experience is the conviction of being evil, and her

>behavior evokes submission. The Witch can hide in any of the other three

>profiles as a temporary ego-state. She is filled with self hatred and

>may single out one child as the target of her rage. The Witch's

>emotional message to her children is:

>LIFE IS WAR.

>

>Or, is there another character type that you'd to recommend for your

>nada/fada than these four? If so, please name/describe.

>

>Hugs,

>Edith

>

>.

_________________________________________________________________

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[Guest guest]

Hi Edith,

i love these descriptions...with such a complex problem, it's hard to place

nada in one category but i think she's mostly the WAIF with a dash of QUEEN

and a pinch of HERMIT thrown in

regards,

jekyll hyde

>

>Reply-To: ModOasis

>To: ModOasis

>Subject: QUESTION: Borderline nada/fada types...

>Date: Sun, 28 Jan 2001 23:20:42 -0800

>

>Hi All,

>

>Suppose we were to group our BPD nadas/fadas based on four different

>character profiles -- ie, the Waif, the Hermit, the Queen/King, and the

>Witch. We're looking for their predominant character type, although they

>may also exhibit characteristics of one or more of the others.

>

>The question is:

> Which of the following most closely characterizes your nada/fada

>(although it is written in the feminine -- ie, her)?

>

>The WAIF

>THE DARKNESS WITHIN THE BPD WAIF IS *FEAR*

> His/her inner experience is victimization, and her behavior evokes

>sympathy and caretaking from others. Like Cinderella, the waif can be

>misleading as she can appear to have it together for a short time.

>Internally, she feels like an imposter, and even if invited to the ball

>feels unworthy. The Waif, like Cinderella, was a victim of childhood

>abuse or neglect. Was treated as inferior, or was emotionally

>denigrated. The waif's emotional message is:

>LIFE IS TOO HARD.

>

>The HERMIT

>THE DARKNESS WITHIN THE BPD HERMIT IS *FEAR*

> His/her behavior evokes anxiety and protection from others. Like Snow

>White, the Hermit feels like a frightened child hiding from the world.

>The Hermit fears letting anyone in because she was hurt by someone she

>trusted. She is vigilant about watching for danger and may be

>superstitious. The Hermit's emotional message to her children is:

>LIFE IS TOO DANGEROUS.

>

>The QUEEN/KING

>THE DARKNESS WITHIN THE BPD QUEEN IS *EMPTINESS*

> His/her inner experience is deprivation and her behavior evokes

>compliance. The Queen feels entitled to exploit others and can be

>vindictive and greedy. The Queen's emotional message to her children is:

>LIFE IS 'ALL ABOUT ME'.

>

>The WITCH

>THE DARKNESS WITHIN THE BPD WITCH IS ANNIHILATING *RAGE*

> His/her inner experience is the conviction of being evil, and her

>behavior evokes submission. The Witch can hide in any of the other three

>profiles as a temporary ego-state. She is filled with self hatred and

>may single out one child as the target of her rage. The Witch's

>emotional message to her children is:

>LIFE IS WAR.

>

>Or, is there another character type that you'd to recommend for your

>nada/fada than these four? If so, please name/describe.

>

>Hugs,

>Edith

>

>.

_________________________________________________________________

Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com

[Guest guest]

Hi Edith,

i love these descriptions...with such a complex problem, it's hard to place

nada in one category but i think she's mostly the WAIF with a dash of QUEEN

and a pinch of HERMIT thrown in

regards,

jekyll hyde

>

>Reply-To: ModOasis

>To: ModOasis

>Subject: QUESTION: Borderline nada/fada types...

>Date: Sun, 28 Jan 2001 23:20:42 -0800

>

>Hi All,

>

>Suppose we were to group our BPD nadas/fadas based on four different

>character profiles -- ie, the Waif, the Hermit, the Queen/King, and the

>Witch. We're looking for their predominant character type, although they

>may also exhibit characteristics of one or more of the others.

>

>The question is:

> Which of the following most closely characterizes your nada/fada

>(although it is written in the feminine -- ie, her)?

>

>The WAIF

>THE DARKNESS WITHIN THE BPD WAIF IS *FEAR*

> His/her inner experience is victimization, and her behavior evokes

>sympathy and caretaking from others. Like Cinderella, the waif can be

>misleading as she can appear to have it together for a short time.

>Internally, she feels like an imposter, and even if invited to the ball

>feels unworthy. The Waif, like Cinderella, was a victim of childhood

>abuse or neglect. Was treated as inferior, or was emotionally

>denigrated. The waif's emotional message is:

>LIFE IS TOO HARD.

>

>The HERMIT

>THE DARKNESS WITHIN THE BPD HERMIT IS *FEAR*

> His/her behavior evokes anxiety and protection from others. Like Snow

>White, the Hermit feels like a frightened child hiding from the world.

>The Hermit fears letting anyone in because she was hurt by someone she

>trusted. She is vigilant about watching for danger and may be

>superstitious. The Hermit's emotional message to her children is:

>LIFE IS TOO DANGEROUS.

>

>The QUEEN/KING

>THE DARKNESS WITHIN THE BPD QUEEN IS *EMPTINESS*

> His/her inner experience is deprivation and her behavior evokes

>compliance. The Queen feels entitled to exploit others and can be

>vindictive and greedy. The Queen's emotional message to her children is:

>LIFE IS 'ALL ABOUT ME'.

>

>The WITCH

>THE DARKNESS WITHIN THE BPD WITCH IS ANNIHILATING *RAGE*

> His/her inner experience is the conviction of being evil, and her

>behavior evokes submission. The Witch can hide in any of the other three

>profiles as a temporary ego-state. She is filled with self hatred and

>may single out one child as the target of her rage. The Witch's

>emotional message to her children is:

>LIFE IS WAR.

>

>Or, is there another character type that you'd to recommend for your

>nada/fada than these four? If so, please name/describe.

>

>Hugs,

>Edith

>

>.

_________________________________________________________________

Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 1/28/01 11:23:11 PM Pacific Standard Time,

wondrrkid@... writes:

<< Which of the following most closely characterizes your nada/fada

(although it is written in the feminine -- ie, her)?

>>

fascinating - my nada is the " queen " definitely - life is and always was

about her.

Lissa

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 1/28/01 11:23:11 PM Pacific Standard Time,

wondrrkid@... writes:

<< Which of the following most closely characterizes your nada/fada

(although it is written in the feminine -- ie, her)?

>>

fascinating - my nada is the " queen " definitely - life is and always was

about her.

Lissa

[Guest guest]

wrote:

<<

I would have to characterize my nada under the queen column, but she

slides into the witch column often...

>>

and wrote:

<<

My mother was the witch. She always picked on one person or one group

of people, hating them with all her heart. This is the one group that I

feel has the most antisocial traits. Thank God my mother was female.

She might've ended up being a serial killer. God only knows what made

her the way she is. I really don't care.

>>

and Anon wrote:

<<

I think my nada would be WAIF mixed with QUEEN (about 50/50).

>>

and jekyll hyde wrote:

<<

i love these descriptions...with such a complex problem, it's hard to

place nada in one category but i think she's mostly the WAIF with a dash

of QUEEN and a pinch of HERMIT thrown in

>>

Edith here.

I'd classify my nada as WITCH with QUEEN stuff definitely thrown in. It

was like she was " privileged " and we (my sister, dad, and I) didn't

count. She was a HERMIT, in that she never had a friend and we never did

anything, and WAIF-ish, too, as she couldn't/didn't DO a damn thing --

no cooking, no cleaning, no nothing. No hugs, no kisses, no regard

whatsoever for our health/dental/eyeglasses & etc needs. My nada needed

to be IN CONTROL and she did that via raging and beating us kids (ie,

FEAR), and quoting scripture (ie, GUILT). Until I left home, her plan

for my future (ie, OBLIGATION) was that I was to get a job in the dime

store and take care of her for the rest of her life. My sister wanted to

join the Army/Navy/whatever but my dad shamed her out of that -- ie,

" Only whores join the service. " My sister still regrets to this day that

she didn't do what she wanted to do. She, too, married a BPD.

Anyone else want to comment? I've attached a copy of my original post

below.

Hugs,

Edith

+++++

" Borderline nada/fada types... "

<<

Hi All,

Suppose we were to group our BPD nadas/fadas based on four different

character profiles -- ie, the Waif, the Hermit, the Queen/King, and the

Witch. We're looking for their predominant character type, although they

may also exhibit characteristics of one or more of the others.

The question is:

Which of the following most closely characterizes your nada/fada

(although it is written in the feminine -- ie, her)?

The WAIF

THE DARKNESS WITHIN THE BPD WAIF IS *FEAR*

His/her inner experience is victimization, and her behavior evokes

sympathy and caretaking from others. Like Cinderella, the waif can be

misleading as she can appear to have it together for a short time.

Internally, she feels like an imposter, and even if invited to the ball

feels unworthy. The Waif, like Cinderella, was a victim of childhood

abuse or neglect. Was treated as inferior, or was emotionally

denigrated. The waif's emotional message is:

LIFE IS TOO HARD.

The HERMIT

THE DARKNESS WITHIN THE BPD HERMIT IS *FEAR*

His/her behavior evokes anxiety and protection from others. Like Snow

White, the Hermit feels like a frightened child hiding from the world.

The Hermit fears letting anyone in because she was hurt by someone she

trusted. She is vigilant about watching for danger and may be

superstitious. The Hermit's emotional message to her children is:

LIFE IS TOO DANGEROUS.

The QUEEN/KING

THE DARKNESS WITHIN THE BPD QUEEN IS *EMPTINESS*

His/her inner experience is deprivation and her behavior evokes

compliance. The Queen feels entitled to exploit others and can be

vindictive and greedy. The Queen's emotional message to her children is:

LIFE IS 'ALL ABOUT ME'.

The WITCH

THE DARKNESS WITHIN THE BPD WITCH IS ANNIHILATING *RAGE*

His/her inner experience is the conviction of being evil, and her

behavior evokes submission. The Witch can hide in any of the other three

profiles as a temporary ego-state. She is filled with self hatred and

may single out one child as the target of her rage. The Witch's

emotional message to her children is:

LIFE IS WAR.

Or, is there another character type that you'd to recommend for your

nada/fada than these four? If so, please name/describe.

Hugs,

Edith

>>

[Guest guest]

wrote:

<<

I would have to characterize my nada under the queen column, but she

slides into the witch column often...

>>

and wrote:

<<

My mother was the witch. She always picked on one person or one group

of people, hating them with all her heart. This is the one group that I

feel has the most antisocial traits. Thank God my mother was female.

She might've ended up being a serial killer. God only knows what made

her the way she is. I really don't care.

>>

and Anon wrote:

<<

I think my nada would be WAIF mixed with QUEEN (about 50/50).

>>

and jekyll hyde wrote:

<<

i love these descriptions...with such a complex problem, it's hard to

place nada in one category but i think she's mostly the WAIF with a dash

of QUEEN and a pinch of HERMIT thrown in

>>

Edith here.

I'd classify my nada as WITCH with QUEEN stuff definitely thrown in. It

was like she was " privileged " and we (my sister, dad, and I) didn't

count. She was a HERMIT, in that she never had a friend and we never did

anything, and WAIF-ish, too, as she couldn't/didn't DO a damn thing --

no cooking, no cleaning, no nothing. No hugs, no kisses, no regard

whatsoever for our health/dental/eyeglasses & etc needs. My nada needed

to be IN CONTROL and she did that via raging and beating us kids (ie,

FEAR), and quoting scripture (ie, GUILT). Until I left home, her plan

for my future (ie, OBLIGATION) was that I was to get a job in the dime

store and take care of her for the rest of her life. My sister wanted to

join the Army/Navy/whatever but my dad shamed her out of that -- ie,

" Only whores join the service. " My sister still regrets to this day that

she didn't do what she wanted to do. She, too, married a BPD.

Anyone else want to comment? I've attached a copy of my original post

below.

Hugs,

Edith

+++++

" Borderline nada/fada types... "

<<

Hi All,

Suppose we were to group our BPD nadas/fadas based on four different

character profiles -- ie, the Waif, the Hermit, the Queen/King, and the

Witch. We're looking for their predominant character type, although they

may also exhibit characteristics of one or more of the others.

The question is:

Which of the following most closely characterizes your nada/fada

(although it is written in the feminine -- ie, her)?

The WAIF

THE DARKNESS WITHIN THE BPD WAIF IS *FEAR*

His/her inner experience is victimization, and her behavior evokes

sympathy and caretaking from others. Like Cinderella, the waif can be

misleading as she can appear to have it together for a short time.

Internally, she feels like an imposter, and even if invited to the ball

feels unworthy. The Waif, like Cinderella, was a victim of childhood

abuse or neglect. Was treated as inferior, or was emotionally

denigrated. The waif's emotional message is:

LIFE IS TOO HARD.

The HERMIT

THE DARKNESS WITHIN THE BPD HERMIT IS *FEAR*

His/her behavior evokes anxiety and protection from others. Like Snow

White, the Hermit feels like a frightened child hiding from the world.

The Hermit fears letting anyone in because she was hurt by someone she

trusted. She is vigilant about watching for danger and may be

superstitious. The Hermit's emotional message to her children is:

LIFE IS TOO DANGEROUS.

The QUEEN/KING

THE DARKNESS WITHIN THE BPD QUEEN IS *EMPTINESS*

His/her inner experience is deprivation and her behavior evokes

compliance. The Queen feels entitled to exploit others and can be

vindictive and greedy. The Queen's emotional message to her children is:

LIFE IS 'ALL ABOUT ME'.

The WITCH

THE DARKNESS WITHIN THE BPD WITCH IS ANNIHILATING *RAGE*

His/her inner experience is the conviction of being evil, and her

behavior evokes submission. The Witch can hide in any of the other three

profiles as a temporary ego-state. She is filled with self hatred and

may single out one child as the target of her rage. The Witch's

emotional message to her children is:

LIFE IS WAR.

Or, is there another character type that you'd to recommend for your

nada/fada than these four? If so, please name/describe.

Hugs,

Edith

>>

[Guest guest]

wrote:

<<

I would have to characterize my nada under the queen column, but she

slides into the witch column often...

>>

and wrote:

<<

My mother was the witch. She always picked on one person or one group

of people, hating them with all her heart. This is the one group that I

feel has the most antisocial traits. Thank God my mother was female.

She might've ended up being a serial killer. God only knows what made

her the way she is. I really don't care.

>>

and Anon wrote:

<<

I think my nada would be WAIF mixed with QUEEN (about 50/50).

>>

and jekyll hyde wrote:

<<

i love these descriptions...with such a complex problem, it's hard to

place nada in one category but i think she's mostly the WAIF with a dash

of QUEEN and a pinch of HERMIT thrown in

>>

Edith here.

I'd classify my nada as WITCH with QUEEN stuff definitely thrown in. It

was like she was " privileged " and we (my sister, dad, and I) didn't

count. She was a HERMIT, in that she never had a friend and we never did

anything, and WAIF-ish, too, as she couldn't/didn't DO a damn thing --

no cooking, no cleaning, no nothing. No hugs, no kisses, no regard

whatsoever for our health/dental/eyeglasses & etc needs. My nada needed

to be IN CONTROL and she did that via raging and beating us kids (ie,

FEAR), and quoting scripture (ie, GUILT). Until I left home, her plan

for my future (ie, OBLIGATION) was that I was to get a job in the dime

store and take care of her for the rest of her life. My sister wanted to

join the Army/Navy/whatever but my dad shamed her out of that -- ie,

" Only whores join the service. " My sister still regrets to this day that

she didn't do what she wanted to do. She, too, married a BPD.

Anyone else want to comment? I've attached a copy of my original post

below.

Hugs,

Edith

+++++

" Borderline nada/fada types... "

<<

Hi All,

Suppose we were to group our BPD nadas/fadas based on four different

character profiles -- ie, the Waif, the Hermit, the Queen/King, and the

Witch. We're looking for their predominant character type, although they

may also exhibit characteristics of one or more of the others.

The question is:

Which of the following most closely characterizes your nada/fada

(although it is written in the feminine -- ie, her)?

The WAIF

THE DARKNESS WITHIN THE BPD WAIF IS *FEAR*

His/her inner experience is victimization, and her behavior evokes

sympathy and caretaking from others. Like Cinderella, the waif can be

misleading as she can appear to have it together for a short time.

Internally, she feels like an imposter, and even if invited to the ball

feels unworthy. The Waif, like Cinderella, was a victim of childhood

abuse or neglect. Was treated as inferior, or was emotionally

denigrated. The waif's emotional message is:

LIFE IS TOO HARD.

The HERMIT

THE DARKNESS WITHIN THE BPD HERMIT IS *FEAR*

His/her behavior evokes anxiety and protection from others. Like Snow

White, the Hermit feels like a frightened child hiding from the world.

The Hermit fears letting anyone in because she was hurt by someone she

trusted. She is vigilant about watching for danger and may be

superstitious. The Hermit's emotional message to her children is:

LIFE IS TOO DANGEROUS.

The QUEEN/KING

THE DARKNESS WITHIN THE BPD QUEEN IS *EMPTINESS*

His/her inner experience is deprivation and her behavior evokes

compliance. The Queen feels entitled to exploit others and can be

vindictive and greedy. The Queen's emotional message to her children is:

LIFE IS 'ALL ABOUT ME'.

The WITCH

THE DARKNESS WITHIN THE BPD WITCH IS ANNIHILATING *RAGE*

His/her inner experience is the conviction of being evil, and her

behavior evokes submission. The Witch can hide in any of the other three

profiles as a temporary ego-state. She is filled with self hatred and

may single out one child as the target of her rage. The Witch's

emotional message to her children is:

LIFE IS WAR.

Or, is there another character type that you'd to recommend for your

nada/fada than these four? If so, please name/describe.

Hugs,

Edith

>>

[Guest guest]

My mother was a waif, she was so helpless to teach us anything or to ever

stand up for us. She was so full of shame, toxic shame and she taught us to

be ashamed of ourselves, our home, our behavior, everything she fed us shame

and food, a whole lot of food.

In my adolescent years the witch came out, the beatings, we were whores,

sluts, bitches, nervous, we were just never good enough, and more beatings.

Yikes, I'm glad I'm an adult now. Debra

[Guest guest]

My mother was a waif, she was so helpless to teach us anything or to ever

stand up for us. She was so full of shame, toxic shame and she taught us to

be ashamed of ourselves, our home, our behavior, everything she fed us shame

and food, a whole lot of food.

In my adolescent years the witch came out, the beatings, we were whores,

sluts, bitches, nervous, we were just never good enough, and more beatings.

Yikes, I'm glad I'm an adult now. Debra

[Guest guest]

My mother was a waif, she was so helpless to teach us anything or to ever

stand up for us. She was so full of shame, toxic shame and she taught us to

be ashamed of ourselves, our home, our behavior, everything she fed us shame

and food, a whole lot of food.

In my adolescent years the witch came out, the beatings, we were whores,

sluts, bitches, nervous, we were just never good enough, and more beatings.

Yikes, I'm glad I'm an adult now. Debra

[Guest guest]

My nada is the WAIF. She has a perfect waif expression that she uses to

great advantage. My cousin, who doesn't see her often, is very much taken in

by her waif behaviour and acts accordingly.