motherhood

[Guest guest]

Hello All,

I've been reading comments from the group and wanted to share.

I'm the eldest of four,and all of my young life was spent taking care of the

younger ones. Nada would be home, be right there, but I was still the one who

was expected to watch over everything. As I got older and the times would

change, I'd find myself held responsible for what they did wrong. He'd break the

window, I'm sat down at the table and told what a disappointment I was. She got

pregnant, I'm told that I taught her everything. (never mind that I'm a virgin

at the time, and hadn't even began dating yet!) As they got older, the worse the

scenario's got! Yet through it all, I did my best and tried even harder to be a

good example and be there for them. Thru nada's influence I became,or should I

say eventually became known as, the " bxtch " and am still called that today.

You'd think that would of been a determent from ever becoming and being a

mom. That wasn't the case.

I have two daughters,18 and 11. I've had my ups and downs, questioned myself ,

dealt with the loss of my husband, father, and eventually had to deal and mourn

the loss of the dream family of nada and sibs. Yet through all this I have had

my children in my life keeping things real. I'm able to re-focus. I'm a good

mom. I spend time with them, I know all their friends, I know the parents of

their friends, I encourage them in their interests, and their achievements are

mine as well. The girls are my center. My anchor. One day, if I've done my job

right, they will leave home and begin their own lives armed with whatever I

could give, teach them, to guide them through the rough times.

I know we don't have all the answers, like I tell my girls, " When you were born,

you did not come with a manual! I'm winging it! "

But I will and have given them all I have and have made sure that they got hugs

and were told that they are loved,every day of their lives. No matter how old

they get, they will always know this from me.

For some of you, the decision to not have children is understood. After what I'd

gone through, I'm surprised I am a parent at all! And yet, I 'm surprised at

the contentment I feel.

For others, questioning your every parenting move is just as understandable. But

keep this in mind.....Your ABLE to question....that in itself makes you a better

parent than we ourselves had. REALIZING, you've made a mistake about something,

and being honest with your children about it, makes you a healthy parent. They

learn everything from us. (even owning up to mistakes)

Personally, I'd had so much of my love smothered, that I feel very fortunate in

having them to care for. ( it might also explain the 4 dogs, 4 cats 2 gold fish

and the rat, Murry) lol

To be or not to be a parent is a decision that we all must face. But, I've come

to understand that it's a personal one that we ko's take very seriously and for

good reason. And you know what??? That's ok too! Warm thoughts to all,