Dreams, Part II

[Guest guest]

Okay, this is my other recent dream. But first, some

background.

I've spoken before about how my brother mistreated our

cats. He held them against their will and hit them

when they complained or tried to escape. Essentially

he was hell-bent on inflicting his own will on them

(it's a power/control thing, I think). Anyways, we

fought so much about how he treated my cat, that my

parents got him his own cat to torture (this was a

while ago, he was probably only 6 or so). He relented

somewhat with my cat, while his cat bore the brunt of

his behavior. He basically beat his cat into

submission until it was nothing more than a living,

breathing teddy bear. The cat has no will of its own,

and goes completely limp when you pick it up and let's

you do whatever you want with it.

However, my parents continued to do little or nothing

to protect my cat from my brother. And they would stop

me whenever I tried to interfere. So I felt

completely helpless to protect the one being in my

family that gave me unquestioned love and affection.

My therapist and I have also talked about how, in a

way, his cat is a methaphor for me. Nada (and my

family) also beat me (not literally -- at least not

most of the time) into submission and molded me into

whatever shape she/they wanted. Whenever I didn't

comply, they just ran roughshod over me.

Okay, now the dream. ***WARNING -- this is a graphic

dream, but I must describe it in detail in order to

explain its meaning*** I think it's very complex and

can be interpreted on many levels.

I dreamt that my parents were training my brother on

how to kill a cat. And they were letting him practice

on MY cats. It was a two step process (now comes the

graphic part)... First a sharp instrument was thrust

into the heart, and second the throat was slit. In

the dream, I was forced to observe him killing my cat

but was physically restrained from stopping him.

Overwhelmed by despair, I looked away but still saw

him killing my cat in the reflection of a piece of

glass. I jolted awake at this point with tears

streaming down my face and was so distraught that I

was unable to sleep again for almost an hour.

At first glance, this dream appears to be about my

frustration and helplessness at the way my brother

treated my cat, and my parents' complicity. And I do

think that this is an accurate interpretation.

Digging deeper, however, I recalled how I have

sometimes felt that my brother's feline " victims " were

a metaphor for me. My therapist pointed out that we

typically view the heart as the origin of our

feelings. And, when you slit someone's throat, you

deprive them of their ability to speak. Substitute me

for the cat, and now my family is destroying the

well-spring of my feelings, silencing my voice, and

" killing " me (my soul). Re-reading my description of

the dream, I'm also wondering if the fact that I did

not view the " slaying " directly, but saw it reflected

in a piece of glass instead, represents some

dissociation on my part. Hmmm, I'll have to think

about that one some more.

Anyways, my dreams seem to be a constant source of

revelation -- Freud would have loved me. Just

wondering if this happens to anyone else.

Strangely, the dream also seems to be a premonition,

since I found out today that one of my cats is gravely

ill and there is a good chance that she won't make it

(she is only 3 1/2 years old). I am very sad about

this, but if there's anything good that came out of

it, it was that I was able to cry openly in front of

the vet and his staff -- something I would have found

unthinkable (it makes me look too vulnerable) a few

months ago.

Well, I'm going to go lay in bed and try not to think

about my poor kitty all alone in a tiny cage with a

feeding tube shoved down her nose

--Anon

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

I'm so sorry about your kitty... I'll keep you (and her) in my thoughts...

xoxo,

Crissie

Dreams, Part II

> Okay, this is my other recent dream. But first, some

> background.

>

> I've spoken before about how my brother mistreated our

> cats. He held them against their will and hit them

> when they complained or tried to escape. Essentially

> he was hell-bent on inflicting his own will on them

> (it's a power/control thing, I think). Anyways, we

> fought so much about how he treated my cat, that my

> parents got him his own cat to torture (this was a

> while ago, he was probably only 6 or so). He relented

> somewhat with my cat, while his cat bore the brunt of

> his behavior. He basically beat his cat into

> submission until it was nothing more than a living,

> breathing teddy bear. The cat has no will of its own,

> and goes completely limp when you pick it up and let's

> you do whatever you want with it.

>

> However, my parents continued to do little or nothing

> to protect my cat from my brother. And they would stop

> me whenever I tried to interfere. So I felt

> completely helpless to protect the one being in my

> family that gave me unquestioned love and affection.

>

> My therapist and I have also talked about how, in a

> way, his cat is a methaphor for me. Nada (and my

> family) also beat me (not literally -- at least not

> most of the time) into submission and molded me into

> whatever shape she/they wanted. Whenever I didn't

> comply, they just ran roughshod over me.

>

> Okay, now the dream. ***WARNING -- this is a graphic

> dream, but I must describe it in detail in order to

> explain its meaning*** I think it's very complex and

> can be interpreted on many levels.

>

> I dreamt that my parents were training my brother on

> how to kill a cat. And they were letting him practice

> on MY cats. It was a two step process (now comes the

> graphic part)... First a sharp instrument was thrust

> into the heart, and second the throat was slit. In

> the dream, I was forced to observe him killing my cat

> but was physically restrained from stopping him.

> Overwhelmed by despair, I looked away but still saw

> him killing my cat in the reflection of a piece of

> glass. I jolted awake at this point with tears

> streaming down my face and was so distraught that I

> was unable to sleep again for almost an hour.

>

> At first glance, this dream appears to be about my

> frustration and helplessness at the way my brother

> treated my cat, and my parents' complicity. And I do

> think that this is an accurate interpretation.

>

> Digging deeper, however, I recalled how I have

> sometimes felt that my brother's feline " victims " were

> a metaphor for me. My therapist pointed out that we

> typically view the heart as the origin of our

> feelings. And, when you slit someone's throat, you

> deprive them of their ability to speak. Substitute me

> for the cat, and now my family is destroying the

> well-spring of my feelings, silencing my voice, and

> " killing " me (my soul). Re-reading my description of

> the dream, I'm also wondering if the fact that I did

> not view the " slaying " directly, but saw it reflected

> in a piece of glass instead, represents some

> dissociation on my part. Hmmm, I'll have to think

> about that one some more.

>

> Anyways, my dreams seem to be a constant source of

> revelation -- Freud would have loved me. Just

> wondering if this happens to anyone else.

>

> Strangely, the dream also seems to be a premonition,

> since I found out today that one of my cats is gravely

> ill and there is a good chance that she won't make it

> (she is only 3 1/2 years old). I am very sad about

> this, but if there's anything good that came out of

> it, it was that I was able to cry openly in front of

> the vet and his staff -- something I would have found

> unthinkable (it makes me look too vulnerable) a few

> months ago.

>

> Well, I'm going to go lay in bed and try not to think

> about my poor kitty all alone in a tiny cage with a

> feeding tube shoved down her nose

>

> --Anon

>

> __________________________________________________

>