Re: FYI: NPDs and Children by Sam Vaknin (Archive #35)

[Guest guest]

> Excerpts from the Archives of the Narcissism List - Part 35

> by Sam Vaknin at

> http://www.geocities.com/vaksam/archive35.html

>

> <<

> >

> Okay, so now I know what my fada has been all about! NPD!! It's

startling to see him so clearly described. The 'loathing of babies`

especially. I always knew that nearly anyone that was an otherwise

special person in his life was also to be considered competition. He

refused to attend my wedding because I would not agree to turning it

into a show about him with the intent of stealing the spotlight from

my nada...He actually admitted that this was what he wanted. That

once and for all... " Someone should make up to him all that he

suffered by not having his kids in his life when they were young!!'

And that was supposed to be...ME??!! On my wedding. He began to

attempt to draw my children into his games, and I knew that it was

just a game. He can't even remember their names. It's all about

getting admiration for himself. He could care less about the people

he is drawing the admiration around or from..or to..And he gets so

outrageously beligerently angry when he is denied his self-centered

way. I understand now that I have had every reason to be enraged by

his behavior, especiallyu when it began to involve my own children.

It is truly best to not know him at all. I just couldn't, in my right

mind..(how'd I end up with one of those anyway!!??heehee) subject my

kids to knowing him in even a small way. It's just to painful to

suddenly realize one day, that you don't exhist as anything in his

life than someone to serve his needs, and I don't know how he learned

to be so verbally cruel. I also don't know what reason he has for

being this way. He had a great childhood according to all

accounts..including his own. I always figured he was just plain

spoiled rotten.

Thanks for shedding some light on my fada's disorder. I really

needed to know that he has a problem and I'm not just a mean

daughter. I do know I'm not, but those tapes were so well programmed

when he screamed how much older smarter, wiser, etc, etc....I hung

up. That was the last conversation we had. I had told him no. Oh no,

how could I do that??!

He does not know where I am today. And I do not know where he

is either. No one does. It seems like a terrible waste of a once

perfectly good life.

Nicky