Guest guest Posted August 14, 2001 Report Share Posted August 14, 2001 Well, nada is stepping up the letter writing campaign. Today's letter which doc read - not me - is more of the same.... how many times I've hurt her, devasted her etc. Amazing how it is constantly about her. It seems that dealing with a BP is a lot like looking at a piece of art up close. You think you can see the picture, but the farther back you move the better and clearer the picture becomes! It's taken months to be able to bring my life " into focus " but now the letters don't bother me and neither do threats of being disinherited or whatever. I'm considering sending the next letter back marked " return to sender " . I wonder if that would send a clear message?? Ilene Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 20, 2001 Report Share Posted August 20, 2001 Ilene, In my case, I finally did put " return to sender " on the envelope. That was 5 years ago. She (nada) has called once since then, when my Uncle Conrad died to tell me that I was not welcome to the funeral. She did succeed to isolate me from my entire family right after my younger sister's wedding (6 years ago). That was one of the reasons a year later I decided to return her letters unopened. I used to have to open my letters at my therapist's office. I decided that to pay to open her destructive letters was not exactly the best way to handle it. Nada could not isolate me from my father (who divorced her when I was 15, now I'm 40 years old) and my stepmother. I do have their support, even though they live 2000 miles away (they moved from the East Coast to Colorado 5 years after my parents divorced because of nada's continual harrassment). Sometimes I wonder if I did the right thing, but my life is my own. I was already a horrible, selfish, self-centered, ungrateful bitch any way, I just thought I might as well as act like that. When I was nice, helpful etc, I was still the above. It is a hard decision, but only you suffer from her abuse and only you can decide if you can take it or is it worth the damage that ensues. I wish you the best no matter what you decide. --- ilene@... wrote: > > > Well, nada is stepping up the letter writing > campaign. Today's letter which doc > read - not me - is more of the same.... > how many times I've hurt her, devasted her etc. > Amazing how it is constantly > about her. > > It seems that dealing with a BP is a lot like > looking at a piece of art up > close. You think you can see the picture, but the > farther back you move the > better and clearer the picture becomes! It's taken > months to be able to bring > my life " into focus " but now the letters don't > bother me and neither do threats > of being disinherited or whatever. > > I'm considering sending the next letter back marked > " return to sender " . I > wonder if that would send a clear message?? > > Ilene > > > __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 20, 2001 Report Share Posted August 20, 2001 Ilene, In my case, I finally did put " return to sender " on the envelope. That was 5 years ago. She (nada) has called once since then, when my Uncle Conrad died to tell me that I was not welcome to the funeral. She did succeed to isolate me from my entire family right after my younger sister's wedding (6 years ago). That was one of the reasons a year later I decided to return her letters unopened. I used to have to open my letters at my therapist's office. I decided that to pay to open her destructive letters was not exactly the best way to handle it. Nada could not isolate me from my father (who divorced her when I was 15, now I'm 40 years old) and my stepmother. I do have their support, even though they live 2000 miles away (they moved from the East Coast to Colorado 5 years after my parents divorced because of nada's continual harrassment). Sometimes I wonder if I did the right thing, but my life is my own. I was already a horrible, selfish, self-centered, ungrateful bitch any way, I just thought I might as well as act like that. When I was nice, helpful etc, I was still the above. It is a hard decision, but only you suffer from her abuse and only you can decide if you can take it or is it worth the damage that ensues. I wish you the best no matter what you decide. --- ilene@... wrote: > > > Well, nada is stepping up the letter writing > campaign. Today's letter which doc > read - not me - is more of the same.... > how many times I've hurt her, devasted her etc. > Amazing how it is constantly > about her. > > It seems that dealing with a BP is a lot like > looking at a piece of art up > close. You think you can see the picture, but the > farther back you move the > better and clearer the picture becomes! It's taken > months to be able to bring > my life " into focus " but now the letters don't > bother me and neither do threats > of being disinherited or whatever. > > I'm considering sending the next letter back marked > " return to sender " . I > wonder if that would send a clear message?? > > Ilene > > > __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 23, 2001 Report Share Posted August 23, 2001 Dear , When I read your response, it reminded that this week I was wondering who I knew--beyond our support group--who had cut off ties with her/his mother. I thought of someone who definitely should have and didn't. The thought gave me some perspective about the freedom and wisdom of leaving and not communicating. The daughter I thought of who didn't leave was Lizzie Borden. Reply-To: ModOasis Date: Mon, 20 Aug 2001 17:15:36 -0700 (PDT) To: ModOasis Subject: Re: stopping the letters? Ilene, In my case, I finally did put " return to sender " on the envelope. That was 5 years ago. She (nada) has called once since then, when my Uncle Conrad died to tell me that I was not welcome to the funeral. She did succeed to isolate me from my entire family right after my younger sister's wedding (6 years ago). That was one of the reasons a year later I decided to return her letters unopened. I used to have to open my letters at my therapist's office. I decided that to pay to open her destructive letters was not exactly the best way to handle it. Nada could not isolate me from my father (who divorced her when I was 15, now I'm 40 years old) and my stepmother. I do have their support, even though they live 2000 miles away (they moved from the East Coast to Colorado 5 years after my parents divorced because of nada's continual harrassment). Sometimes I wonder if I did the right thing, but my life is my own. I was already a horrible, selfish, self-centered, ungrateful bitch any way, I just thought I might as well as act like that. When I was nice, helpful etc, I was still the above. It is a hard decision, but only you suffer from her abuse and only you can decide if you can take it or is it worth the damage that ensues. I wish you the best no matter what you decide. --- ilene@... wrote: > > > Well, nada is stepping up the letter writing > campaign. Today's letter which doc > read - not me - is more of the same.... > how many times I've hurt her, devasted her etc. > Amazing how it is constantly > about her. > > It seems that dealing with a BP is a lot like > looking at a piece of art up > close. You think you can see the picture, but the > farther back you move the > better and clearer the picture becomes! It's taken > months to be able to bring > my life " into focus " but now the letters don't > bother me and neither do threats > of being disinherited or whatever. > > I'm considering sending the next letter back marked > " return to sender " . I > wonder if that would send a clear message?? > > Ilene > > > __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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