Re: defending those who hurt us.

[Guest guest]

Hi Louise-

Your analysis is right on. But knowing something with your mind

doesn't take the hurt out of your heart. Keep posting. Every child is

perfect just the way they are, and today, you are perfect just the

way you are.

Hugs,

Rosemary

> <<It really speaks volumes that as a child, your response was that

you

> were perfect, just as you were. Each child deserves to be comforted,

> no matter what the parent's background or challenges. I hope you can

> still draw on that child's instinctive feeling of your own self

worth!

>

> Hugs,

> Rosemary>>

>

> Thanks for this new insight - I love it. I've always been teased

about

> my response in sort of a negative way, indicating how proud and

flawed I

> was even as a child, but you throw a different spin on it that I

really

> like.

>

> I think my response (I'm perfect!) also shows how important it was

to me

> to be split good. Even at that young age (I was probably 5 or 6) I

had

> learned how important it was to be perfect so that I wouldn't get

raged

> at.

>

> I think that my mother couldn't comfort me because any criticism of

me

> was indirectly a criticism of her and her parenting skills. She

also

> placed great value in the opinions of others, and so because Janie

said

> I was a brat, it must be so, and I was a brat because she was an

> imperfect mother, so Janie ( 6-yr old child!) was criticizing her

too,

> so she was in pain, and she couldn't comfort my pain but just

wanted it

> (and me) to go away.

>

> Louise