Re: becoming a parent like nada

[Guest guest]

Dee,

Sometimes things on this list really touch me. When

you spoke of being pinched it brought back

memories...Sometimes I think about the things my

mother used to do to us. My whole life I guess they

all seemed normal or ordinary to me. But when I review

it in my adult life I can't believe I went through

that. My mother used to pinch us, pull our hair, dig

her nails into us, hit us with shoes, brushes,

whatever was available. But I think her verbal abuse

was much worse, calling us losers, b!@stards, and

other names I can't put on here.Terrible stuff..

You know what, thinking about it, I could never be

like that to my own son.

=====

K. Lutman

Mannheim, Germany

Mom to Brennan 10/3/99

http://www.growthspurts.com/view.asp?s=6344

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Thanks julie for your kind, encouraging words.

Dee

Re: becoming a parent like nada

>

>

> > " Lutman " wrote:

> >

> > <One of my fears before becoming a parent is

> > > ending up like my mother.

> >

> > ,

> >

> > I too was very scared that I would end up like my nada. I was married

for

> a

> > few years before we had children, I was scared I would not have the

> patience

> > to deal with them in a calm manner. My nada used to get into the most

> > towering, explosive rages, she saw nothing but red and we used to cower

in

> > fear. She would hit out at her target with her slipper until we'd be

black

> > and blue. or she would pinch our arms if we did the slightest mistake -

> like

> > leaving a drop of water on the sink after we were supposed to have

cleaned

> > it , or leaving a crumb on the floor or not dropping everything and

coming

> > when she called us.

> > I used to promise myself when I was a teenager, that I would never ever

> hit

> > my children no matter what- that sort of punishment does not accomplish

> > anything.

> > I am happy to say that although I can get angry, I never explode like

she

> > did. Sometimes even when I am exhausted and my daughter can be really

> > irritating, I do not lose my patience. I always have in front of me the

> > memory of how nada treated any wrong doings and I will never let my

> children

> > go through that.

> >

> > Dee

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > To get off the list, send a blank message to

> ModOasis-unsubscribe . Send questions & concerns to

> ModOasis-owner . " Stop Waking on Eggshells, " a primer for

> non-BPs can be ordered via 1-888-35-SHELL (). For the table of

> contents, see http://www.BPDCentral.com

> >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Thanks julie for your kind, encouraging words.

Dee

Re: becoming a parent like nada

>

>

> > " Lutman " wrote:

> >

> > <One of my fears before becoming a parent is

> > > ending up like my mother.

> >

> > ,

> >

> > I too was very scared that I would end up like my nada. I was married

for

> a

> > few years before we had children, I was scared I would not have the

> patience

> > to deal with them in a calm manner. My nada used to get into the most

> > towering, explosive rages, she saw nothing but red and we used to cower

in

> > fear. She would hit out at her target with her slipper until we'd be

black

> > and blue. or she would pinch our arms if we did the slightest mistake -

> like

> > leaving a drop of water on the sink after we were supposed to have

cleaned

> > it , or leaving a crumb on the floor or not dropping everything and

coming

> > when she called us.

> > I used to promise myself when I was a teenager, that I would never ever

> hit

> > my children no matter what- that sort of punishment does not accomplish

> > anything.

> > I am happy to say that although I can get angry, I never explode like

she

> > did. Sometimes even when I am exhausted and my daughter can be really

> > irritating, I do not lose my patience. I always have in front of me the

> > memory of how nada treated any wrong doings and I will never let my

> children

> > go through that.

> >

> > Dee

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > To get off the list, send a blank message to

> ModOasis-unsubscribe . Send questions & concerns to

> ModOasis-owner . " Stop Waking on Eggshells, " a primer for

> non-BPs can be ordered via 1-888-35-SHELL (). For the table of

> contents, see http://www.BPDCentral.com

> >

> >

> >

> >