Re: HIV: Not Fabulous

[Guest guest]

I've been in this HIV "thing" since it first reared it's ugly head. I remember being in NYC when the papers came out with headlines stating "Gay Cancer Discovered in San Francisco". I've been in the hospital more times than I can count. I've lost count of how many dear, dear friends succumbed to AIDS. I've been violently ill from HIV cocktails that did and didn't work for me. I've contemplated suicide. I've watched both my T cells and my viral load rollercoaster. I've hidden myself away in shame in my apartment for months at a time - refusing to go out in public because of my facial wasting - and the knowing stares of strangers. And through it all, I'm still here. And I celebrate myself now for that. I don't want a parade, but I've worked hard, struggled - to be here and I don't want to feel shamed ever again. Particularly by people who should know better. Yes, I find these ads offensive. They hurt my feelings. That's my truth and it's not debatable.

Now that I've said that about myself ... About those ads: Let me step outside myself for a moment, take a breath, count to ten and ask myself again: How do I really feel?

Hmmm. Honestly, I go back on forth on this issue. I've been HIV+ for over 20 years and am no stranger to the hurtful and sometimes purposefully hateful sting of stigmatization.

I've been trying to think of some socially stigmatized condition, widespread, that is indeed preventable, dangerous, potentially fatal, and (at least to some albeit lesser degree) mirrors this HIV issue. It's difficult.

I realize that there are some holes in the following comparison, so please, save your emails. Now here goes:

I wonder how many people would stand up and scream foul if there was a "FAT: Not Fabulous" campaign launched. The posters are photos of obese men and women looking ashamed in swim wear; confined to bed with oxygen tubes taped to their nostrils; plagued with rashes and bedsores on their skin because of chafing and/or the inability to move, etc...

Would overeaters be scared skinny? Perhaps, but not at the expense of those who are morbidly obese and already (and this is really not too severe a word) hated by a prejudiced society. Would the morbidly obese feel even more shamed, hated, stigmatized by such advertising, and rightfully so? I think yes.

You can replace "HIV" with "Morbid obesity" in any of the following sentences and it works:

HIV is spreading in America.HIV can kill you.HIV is preventable.HIV is spread through lack of knowledge and lifestyle habits.HIV can be avoided.

I'm not saying that in some respects the HIV: Not Fabulous campaign is not brilliant advertising. I'm in marketing and advertising, I understand the craft, and I'm not blind to the merits of shock. It makes a point and will make a difference to some, and perhaps will save some lives. But its target audience is being hunted here with a scattergun. Innocent people standing too close to the target will be injured. What I am saying is that to some people these ads are hurtful and hateful. That they is perceived as such is not a point that can be argued or debated. By the way, I can only surmise that the models who appear in the ads do not find them at all bothersome or offensive.

The beauty of all of this is that it creates awareness and a (hopefully adult, civil and constructive) dialogue. It's just unfortunate and unfair that some very good (and by the way, very fabulous) people who have already suffered enough in the wake of this indiscriminate and unforgiving epidemic are suffering more - and being made the targets for stigmatization by the campaign to stop it.

It saddens me.

Sincerely,

Joe