Something I want to share...

[Guest guest]

Hi All,

I was reading this morning and wanted to share the following. It was written

about borderline mothers but it also applies to borderline fathers.

In her book, Understanding The Borderline Mother, Ann Lawson wrote:

" Children of borderlines cannot understand themselves without first

understanding their mothers. ... (p 299)

" Children of borderlnes are not sure what their own minds are like and are

frightened by what they see in their mother. ... (p 299)

" Children of borderlines try to avoid seeing their mother's darkness.

Although they sense their mother's helplessness, emptiness, fear, and anger,

they develop defenses that prevent them from drowning in anxiety. (p 299)

" Children of borderlines may spend their entire lives trying to understand

their mother and themselves. They are preoccupied with sorting out the

meanings of interactions, studying their own perceptions, and questioning the

intentions of others. ... (p 301)

" Children of borderlines must work through intense feelings of rage not only

toward their mothers, but also toward their fathers. ... (p 301)

" The father, however, is often torn between loyalty to his wife and loyalty

to his chidren. The borderline wife's retaliatory rage and sensitivity to

abandonment can leave both father and child fearful and torn between the

objects of their love. ... Idealization of the father prevents depression and

rage from surfacing and protects the child from feeling orphaned. (p 302)

" Adult children of borderline mothers must return to the past for the sake of

their future. The last half of their lives can become the best half if they

disinter the real self and rediscover their lost exuberance, their own free

will, and their uninhibited creative self. (p. 303)

" No greater gift exists than a life of unrestrained love and joy. (p 303)

Peace,

Edith

- Enjoying the last half.