Re: AS & Reading at the table

[Guest guest]

Interesting, growing up we all read at the table, we read everywhere as a matter of fact. I was so dedicated to reading that I even read while I walked to school. LOL In all truthfulness I didn't get much read because I wasn't coorinated enough to just walk and read without wandering out into the road (no sidewalks) so I would look at one line and look at the ground back and forth all the way. Not relaxing but I enjoyed the challenge. Dinner found us with books propped up against various things so we could read and eat at the same time. No one seemed to care one way or the other. My husband doesn't like books at the dinner table though so we don't do that in my family now. But I still read while eating breakfast & lunch, just not dinner. To me it's very relaxing.

Jennie

[Guest guest]

Jennie, I often read while I eat, if I am alone. i do not do it when other people are present, unless they are reading as well. I find reading relaxing, too. Jennie Unknown wrote: Interesting, growing up we all read at the table, we read everywhere as a matter of fact. I was so dedicated to reading that I even read while I walked to school. LOL In all truthfulness I didn't get much read because

I wasn't coorinated enough to just walk and read without wandering out into the road (no sidewalks) so I would look at one line and look at the ground back and forth all the way. Not relaxing but I enjoyed the challenge. Dinner found us with books propped up against various things so we could read and eat at the same time. No one seemed to care one way or the other. My husband doesn't like books at the dinner table though so we don't do that in my family now. But I still read while eating breakfast & lunch, just not dinner. To me it's very relaxing. Jennie

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[Guest guest]

At times I urge my husband to read because it relaxes him as well. I'm so happy if he gets into a sci-fi book on a Saturday and doesn't stop reading until he's done. It's a great way for him to relax and when I see him reading like this, I know he's happy. It's all good.My only objection to his reading at the table is that if he reads, he doesn't interact with the rest of the family. He is so removed from the rest of us; he really is in his own world. As my oldest daughter says, "when he's here, when he is he really here." Even when he's physically present, he is mentally engaged elsewhere -- the computer, newspaper, something.Daneka Jennie Unknown wrote: Interesting, growing up we all read at the table, we read everywhere as a matter of fact. I was so dedicated to reading that I even read while I walked to school. LOL In all truthfulness I didn't get much read because I wasn't coorinated enough to just walk and read without wandering out into the road (no sidewalks) so I would look at one line and look at the ground back and forth all the way. Not relaxing but I enjoyed the challenge. Dinner found us with books propped up against various things so we could read and eat at the same time. No one seemed to care one way or the other. My husband doesn't like books at the dinner table though so we don't do that in my family now. But I still read while eating breakfast

& lunch, just not dinner. To me it's very relaxing. Jennie

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[Guest guest]

Well as I have mentioned before, I suspect both my parents are either AS or something closely related. So growing up I don't recall there being much by way of interaction. I do remember feeling togetherness as we all sat and read together. So maybe when everyone is ok with it, it becomes a way of interacting silently. I think there were times when we would read something outloud that was particularly funny or interesting. But I know what you mean because when I got married I didn't try to read at the dinner table so we all tend to talk about various things. Though there are days when I wish I could just get a book and read so as to avoid the constant 'sit down and eat' routine that comes with having a 4 yr old!! LOL

I know what you mean about being mentally engaged. It takes a lot of willpower on my part to take part in conversation that does not mentally engage me. I have to really work at it to not become unengaged with the conversation. It is much easier for me when I know my husband has something specific in mind to talk about. If I am in a place of life where I'm not trying at all what works is for him to come up with a topic of conversation that grabs my interest. Then I become involved in the discussion and through that with him and it is then an easier step for me to get back into relational mode.

Jennie

Re: AS & Reading at the table

At times I urge my husband to read because it relaxes him as well. I'm so happy if he gets into a sci-fi book on a Saturday and doesn't stop reading until he's done. It's a great way for him to relax and when I see him reading like this, I know he's happy. It's all good.My only objection to his reading at the table is that if he reads, he doesn't interact with the rest of the family. He is so removed from the rest of us; he really is in his own world. As my oldest daughter says, "when he's here, when he is he really here." Even when he's physically present, he is mentally engaged elsewhere -- the computer, newspaper, something.Daneka Jennie Unknown <mossbtweenmetoestds (DOT) net> wrote:

Interesting, growing up we all read at the table, we read everywhere a a matter of fact. I was so dedicated to reading that I even read while I walked to school. LOL In all truthfulness I didn't get much read because I wasn't coorinated enough to just walk and read without wandering out into the road (no sidewalks) so I would look at one line and look at the ground back and forth all the way. Not relaxing but I enjoyed the challenge. Dinner found us with books propped up against various things so we could read and eat at the same time. No one seemed to care one way or the other. My husband doesn't like books at the dinner table though so we don't do that in my family now. But I still read while eating breakfast & lunch, just not dinner. To me it's very relaxing.

Jennie

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[Guest guest]

Much like I find writing and knitting relaxing LOL

> Interesting, growing up we all read at the table, we

read everywhere as a matter of fact. I was so dedicated to reading

that I even read while I walked to school. LOL In all truthfulness I

didn't get much read because I wasn't coorinated enough to just walk

and read without wandering out into the road (no sidewalks) so I

would look at one line and look at the ground back and forth all the

way. Not relaxing but I enjoyed the challenge. Dinner found us with

books propped up against various things so we could read and eat at

the same time. No one seemed to care one way or the other. My

husband doesn't like books at the dinner table though so we don't do

that in my family now. But I still read while eating breakfast &

lunch, just not dinner. To me it's very relaxing.

>

> Jennie

>

>

>

>

>

> ---------------------------------

> Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.

>

[Guest guest]

I've been known to do that as well. Get myself a book I could so

enjoy and I'll end up reading from front to back without taking a

break. Tunnel vision or whatever it is called.

> Interesting, growing up we all read at the table, we read

everywhere as a matter of fact. I was so dedicated to reading that I

even read while I walked to school. LOL In all truthfulness I didn't

get much read because I wasn't coorinated enough to just walk and

read without wandering out into the road (no sidewalks) so I would

look at one line and look at the ground back and forth all the way.

Not relaxing but I enjoyed the challenge. Dinner found us with books

propped up against various things so we could read and eat at the

same time. No one seemed to care one way or the other. My husband

doesn't like books at the dinner table though so we don't do that in

my family now. But I still read while eating breakfast & lunch, just

not dinner. To me it's very relaxing.

>

> Jennie

>

>

>

>

>

> ---------------------------------

> Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile.

Try it now.

>

[Guest guest]

I think this is more human nature, rather than if someone is AS or

NT. Most people I know of would feel the same way as you, Jennie,

about being mentally engaged in something we don't want to be

mentally a part of at all. Happens to everyone.

>

> I know what you mean about being mentally engaged. It takes a lot

of willpower on my part to take part in conversation that does not

mentally engage me. I have to really work at it to not become

unengaged with the conversation. It is much easier for me when I know

my husband has something specific in mind to talk about. If I am in a

place of life where I'm not trying at all what works is for him to

come up with a topic of conversation that grabs my interest. Then I

become involved in the discussion and through that with him and it is

then an easier step for me to get back into relational mode.

>

> Jennie

[Guest guest]

.. what is macrame? I have heard of it, but never did

anything like that. Well, you must multi-task well then It's an

expertise of mine. Don't ask me how I do it. Just second nature to

me.

> ..... But I still read while eating breakfast &

> lunch, just not dinner. To me it's very relaxing.

> >

> > Jennie

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

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[Guest guest]

Don't get me wrong, I love to read...but I do agree that reading can be so compelling that a person really cannot give full attention to anything else while they do it.   Reading and eating is it's own subject matter... and reading at the table does not allow for interaction with others.  My husband also reads and watches tv.  when we were in counseling (pre-AS diagnosis) I brought this habit up and told how it made me feel ignored and unimportant when he did this.  It was bad enough to have the only time we spent together be spent watching tv, even though he seemed to think it was a mutual shared activity.   I found it to be a poor excuse for quality time together.  and even less of a quality experience for me when he read a book at the same time.  At the time, it was really getting to me how he could go for days without looking at me or talking to me.  When I tried to talk to him about how his actions made me feel, he said he was not making me feel anything, that I was making myself feel that way because he was perfectly content.  He said that we were together sharing the same life because when we looked out the window, we saw the same view.  How romantic.  I wanted to hit him with a brick.  NOW I UNDERSTAND.   So I don't try to interact beyond what he initiates.  In case anyone suggests that we discuss the book he is reading, I am afraid I do not share his tastes.  He consumes (2-4 per week) what I call pulp fiction... murder mysteries adventures or the most lurid content that I find very disturbing and boring.   He does not share my tastes either.. l like mostly non-fiction, history, politics, social commentary, bios. Janet ZEE with my 2 bits worth on my 56th b-day on which there was no gift or card, same as xmas or 25th anniversay a week later.  WAH.  At times I urge my husband to read because it relaxes him as well.  I'm so happy if he gets into a sci-fi book on a Saturday and doesn't stop reading until he's done.  It's a great way for him to relax and when I see him reading like this, I know he's happy.  It's all good.My only objection to his reading at the table is that if he reads, he doesn't interact with the rest of the family.  He is so removed from the rest of us; he really is in his own world.  As my oldest daughter says, "when he's here, when he is he really here."  Even when he's physically present, he is mentally engaged elsewhere -- the computer, newspaper, something.Daneka Jennie Unknown <mossbtweenmetoestds (DOT) net> wrote:Interesting, growing up we all read at the table, we read everywhere as a matter of fact. I was so dedicated to reading that I even read while I walked to school. LOL In all truthfulness I didn't get much read because I wasn't coorinated enough to just walk and read without wandering out into the road (no sidewalks) so I would look at one line and look at the ground back and forth all the way. Not relaxing but I enjoyed the challenge. Dinner found us with books propped up against various things so we could read and eat at the same time. No one seemed to care one way or the other.  My husband doesn't like books at the dinner table though so we don't do that in my family now. But I still read while eating breakfast & lunch, just not dinner. To me it's very relaxing. JennieBe a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.