Re: AS Female + NT Male = Better than the reverse??

[Guest guest]

Thank you for sharing that, . I have a number of books on

ADHD that it's time for me to buy some books on Asperger's this

year. Very intersting observations, since I felt the faithful part

would be right on target with AS/AS. However, there's much more to a

relationship/marriage than simply being faithful to one's partner.

> When I am in a very loving relationship, I feel safe and

> secure (much like I was last Sunday when I openly shared with my

> congregation about Asperger's and ADHD).

>

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[Guest guest]

,

I agree that we must deal with the problem of finding the right mate by

what works for us. Unfortunately, as we have talked about before on

this list, many of the behaviors that cause problems with communication

only seem to show themselves after the marriage has been going on for a

few months or even years. That is even common in NT/Nt marriages when

the bloom has faded. Look at Liz - 7 and counting! We don't

want to throw in the towel everytime things get rough. The same thing

will usually show up in the next relationship, or some form of it.

Ann

>

> Dear Princess:

>

> I am not sure anyone can make a blanket statement that AS Female + NS

Male is better or worse than a NT Female + AS Male. I think it depends

on the combination and chemistry of the two parties involved and no 2

human beings are the same. With that said, some have reported that an AS

female + NS male has worked better due to gender, cultural differences +

the nature of some with AS. I live in the USA so my culture of my

country might be different than others. I know several AS woman married

to NS men that have wonderful relationships. Due to AS, they don't seem

to place the emotional demands on their partner that many NT woman do.

They are strong, independent and that can be very charming and

attractive for some men. Not all AS woman are like this. I think it is

case by case. Maybe it is just utilizing your strengths and finding a

partner that works for YOU? It that is the case, neither label matters

outside of trying to figure out why it works or does not work?????? I

think we tend to get hung up on labels and should be looking more at

behavior of why or why not the relationship is not working for one or

both partners and what partners can do to improve it.

>

> Just me. Others?

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

That's why I am giving myself at least two years before getting

myself involved in another relationship. My divorce has been

official since Friday the 13th of September 2002 (I picked that date

on purpose because I don't believe in superstitions) LOL. I want to

make sure that I have taken care of myself first and have gotten my

ducks lined up before thinking of anything much more than that. I am

learning more and more to be my own best friend, which I think is

critical. Critical, because if you don't love yourself first, how

can anyone possibly love you? That's " heart knowledge " speaking to

me, not " head knowledge " as once so often did in the past.

I will know when the time is right for me to be in another

relationship in the future. As things are now, I am enjoying this

time in doing things I would not have in the past. One of the things

on my list is to be going up on " The Most Overlooked Place in

America " - the Incline Railway leading up to the top of Lookout

Mountain. Towards the top of the railway is the steepest part at

about a 73 degree angle. I say more power to me for doing this and

for having fun in the process. As I mentioned in an earlier post,

2008 will be my " Year of Discovery " . Along with discovery comes

exploration and adventure.

> >

> > Dear Princess:

> >

> > I am not sure anyone can make a blanket statement that AS Female

+ NS

> Male is better or worse than a NT Female + AS Male. I think it

depends

> on the combination and chemistry of the two parties involved and no

2

> human beings are the same. With that said, some have reported that

an AS

> female + NS male has worked better due to gender, cultural

differences +

> the nature of some with AS. I live in the USA so my culture of my

> country might be different than others. I know several AS woman

married

> to NS men that have wonderful relationships. Due to AS, they don't

seem

> to place the emotional demands on their partner that many NT woman

do.

> They are strong, independent and that can be very charming and

> attractive for some men. Not all AS woman are like this. I think it

is

> case by case. Maybe it is just utilizing your strengths and finding

a

> partner that works for YOU? It that is the case, neither label

matters

> outside of trying to figure out why it works or does not work??????

I

> think we tend to get hung up on labels and should be looking more at

> behavior of why or why not the relationship is not working for one

or

> both partners and what partners can do to improve it.

> >

> > Just me. Others?

> >

> >

> >

>