on the dating subject( please keep an open mind lol)

[Guest guest]

OK so for the past day and a 1/2 I think since Tim posted this

question I have been debating if I wanted to respond. You see I kinda

got what I deserved on this subject. As I met my husband and 3 weeks

later we were married. I know crazy! Especially considering I never

wanted to get married. I knew there was something wrong with him and

in many ways things have played out exactly like I thought they might.

That said I would do it all over again if I had the chance. I would

marry him just as fast. Not because it has been so smooth and rosy

but because we made a commitment to each other and both take it very

seriously. Sometimes you have to bleed a little for that commitment

but in the long run you pray and hope it is worth it and your get

little glimpses it is along the way. At least in our case. We waited

2 years to have kids. That was smart a lot of things improved in that

time . His family let him do what ever when ever. He was 27 but really

like 18 I was 21 but really like 30 since I had been on my own since

17. After my only parent my mom died when I was 15 I was in a hurry to

get out on my own. Now back to the dating like I mentioned I did see

things and did have red flags but I thought. I live once and I am

going to ride this out till the fun is over. No one can say my life is

boring or lacking in passion that is for sure. I am such an opposite

of Jim. I am very outgoing, social,some would say loud I would not,

lol I love to go and have adventures do new things. So I think when

Jim met me he grabbed on tight and hasn't let go. When things are

really bad I know that I would never find another man more devoted to

his family or me. More trust worthy or honest even to a fault we all

know. lol There is a lot to be said for that quality. He has always

been a good provider and hardworker. Then I also think I have always

done the right thing always been a good girl how wild and crazy it was

to meet and marry him. Fun to think about it gets me through the tough

times. Then some how like magic that tough time is over and we're onto

a different one progress in the world! I might be weird but happy

most days I get knocked down occasionally and wonder if the fun has

run out but then I dust myself off and something good happens. Kian

Now I am curious and want to pose a question. I want to know how

many of you have a family that is to say a genetic link or history of

autism. my husbands mother's side of the family I think should really

be studied. Jim is high functioning, his daughter is. Jim's mother has

minor mental illness all her sisters do as well. 2 of her sisters have

children that are undiagnosed adult high functioning . One of them has

a son now 7 yrs I think who is Aspergers and is not getting the help

he needs he has been expelled from a couple schools I just heard. So

sad. They are divorced and I think there is a lot of drama and

flipping him back and forth. I am just curious if this is common on

here. We take my daughter to Duke and they informed us that there is

a link between cafe' latte spots and autism they are not sure yet why

but they are finding a strong link.So they are still studying it. I

was curious how many of you have them? Jim's family all of the above

have them. Interesting huh?

[Guest guest]

scrapxs4 wrote:

[ snip ]

> Kian

[ snip ]

> Now I am curious and want to pose a question. I want to know how

> many of you have a family that is to say a genetic link or history of

> autism.

> my husbands mother's side of the family I think should really

> be studied. Jim is high functioning, his daughter is. Jim's mother has

> minor mental illness all her sisters do as well. 2 of her sisters have

> children that are undiagnosed adult high functioning . One of them has

> a son now 7 yrs I think who is Aspergers and is not getting the help

> he needs he has been expelled from a couple schools I just heard. So

> sad. They are divorced and I think there is a lot of drama and

> flipping him back and forth. I am just curious if this is common on

> here.

1. My mother *very* likely was un-dx'd AS.

2. My eldest son likely is un-dx'd AS.

3. I've a first cousin, institutionalized, now dx'd autistic.

4. One grandson was diagnosed Tourette's years ago before AS was

well-known. Probably mis-diagnosed, and likely really AS.

> We take my daughter to Duke and they informed us that there is

> a link between cafe' latte spots and autism they are not sure yet why

> but they are finding a strong link.So they are still studying it.

There's a connection of cafe au lait spots with neurofibromatosis. And

some degree of co-morbidity of NF and autism; ...therefor maybe with AS.

> I was curious how many of you have them?

I've two. My eldest son and my only daughter both have one.

> Jim's family all of the above

> have them. Interesting huh?

- Bill, 75, AS

--

WD " Bill " Loughman - Berkeley, California USA

http://home.earthlink.net/~wdloughman/wdl.htm

[Guest guest]

Will be deleting things that aren't relevant to what I wish to share

of my thoughts...

P.S. See below for my comments in **

>

> As I met my husband and 3 weeks later we were married. I know

crazy! Especially considering I never wanted to get married. I knew

there was something wrong with him and in many ways things have

played out exactly like I thought they might.

** Was 14 months for me, but I proposed only two months after meeting

my ex-wife. I caught up with feeling as if I was desperate because

everyone else around me was married. I thought something was wrong

with me as a result.

> That said I would do it all over again if I had the chance. I would

> marry him just as fast. Not because it has been so smooth and rosy

> but because we made a commitment to each other and both take it very

> seriously. Sometimes you have to bleed a little for that commitment

> but in the long run you pray and hope it is worth it and your get

> little glimpses it is along the way. At least in our case.

** Given the opportunity for me to do it all over again, I wouldn't

have ever gotten married. My ex doesn't have the

adventuresome " Indiana " mentality within her that I do.

Doesn't matter that I have AS. I see myself as having an

adventuring, discovering, exploring side about me. However, I take

full responsibility for not knowing myself like I do now.

> I live once and I am going to ride this out till the fun is over.

No one can say my life is boring or lacking in passion that is for

sure. I am such an opposite of Jim. I am very outgoing, social,some

would say loud I would not, lol I love to go and have adventures do

new things. So I think when Jim met me he grabbed on tight and hasn't

let go.

** Congratulations from me for sticking by Jim through all of this.

I think because you both are committed to getting through this and

adapting to life with Jim having Asperger's that you both could be

even more successful than where you are now in your lives. Just what

I sense or feel, even though I only know of you through this group.

Just keep doing whatever it is you're doing.

> When things are really bad I know that I would never find another

man more devoted to his family or me. More trust worthy or honest

even to a fault we all know. lol There is a lot to be said for that

quality. He has always been a good provider and hardworker. Then I

also think I have always done the right thing always been a good girl

how wild and crazy it was to meet and marry him. Fun to think about

it gets me through the tough times. Then some how like magic that

tough time is over and we're onto a different one progress in the

world!

** My hat goes off to you again for sticking through all of this. I

am sure some people would have given up by now, and I gave up in my

previous marriage when I felt honestly that my marriage was beyond

repair. I wasn't looking for anyone else as a " replacement " either.

People must do whatever will make them happy, as you have.

> Now I am curious and want to pose a question. I want to know how

many of you have a family that is to say a genetic link or history

of autism.

** I think my family is more likely to be ADD than Asperger's. I

don't know of anyone in my immediate family who has Asperger's, but I

have a feeling a few of them have ADD.

Just my $.02 (by the way, keep the change),