Guest guest Posted January 12, 2008 Report Share Posted January 12, 2008 .,, I like the ideae of remembering a wonderful time I had with someone and if I see them to say, " Remember the time when .... " and then just use a connector based upon what something someone said to keep the conversation going. I learned that at my CHADD meeting this past Tuesday. However, I have used connectors in previous conversations and never thought what they were. > > > > Hi everyone, > > I will be in California between Sunday 1/13/08 and Wednesday 1/23/08, visiting my father (NS), who has been seriously ill. I feel as if I can communicate with him much better than ever before- I am learning so much-if anyone has ideas, please post- I will try to read my email in the next day or so. : ~ ) > > Thanks, > > > > > --------------------------------- > Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 12, 2008 Report Share Posted January 12, 2008 Hello everyone, I'm fairly new to this group and I have read quite alot and I do find I have a hard time identifying with some tof the things yoou talk about but the last day of emails have hit home with me. To the last email I read about initiating conversations with poeple about things you've dome with them. That is so my husband. It drives me crazy that he remebers all these stories funny stories about others but he can't remeber what time our son needs to be picked up everyday but reading what you wrote helps me understand it way more now. Then with Judy I think she said she had an operationa nd Ian wanted to talk about his problem and not ask how she was. My heart skipped a beat. My father passed away about 2 years ago and when I came home from the hospital he was in bed and didn't even ask how I was he just said Goodnight...I thought what a jerk, how insensitive but I now know its the AS and it makes me sad that for along time I thought he was mean and unfeeling and that was just how he was but I feel relief to know there is an answer for this behavior. Which some days are still very tough but in the back of my mind I feel he just doesn't know how to feel, convey or participate in aspects of my life. Which is OK. I'm trying to learn so I can help him in turn that will help me. So thanks so much for sharing. > > > > > > > > Hi everyone, > > > > I will be in California between Sunday 1/13/08 and Wednesday > 1/23/08, visiting my father (NS), who has been seriously ill. I feel > as if I can communicate with him much better than ever before- I am > learning so much-if anyone has ideas, please post- I will try to read > my email in the next day or so. : ~ ) > > > > Thanks, > > > > > > > > > > --------------------------------- > > Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 12, 2008 Report Share Posted January 12, 2008 Thanks for the kind comments, . Recommendation for your husband - keep a pocket calendar with him, with space for taking notes, etc. (sounds like if he is forgetting to pick up your kid, he's probably forgetting a few other things as well). Also might want him to put something on your calendar in the kitchen, dining room, etc (if you don't get one, go to the dollar store or something and get one for a buck) that says at certain time he needs to get your kid. Might want him to put an alarm on his cell phone that when it goes off at a certain time it means.. time to pick up your kid. Just a few ideas for you.... you can take or leave them. > > > Hello everyone, > > I'm fairly new to this group and I have read quite alot and I do find I > have a hard time identifying with some tof the things yoou talk about > but the last day of emails have hit home with me. To the last > email I read about initiating conversations with poeple about things > you've dome with them. That is so my husband. It drives me crazy that > he remebers all these stories funny stories about others but he can't > remeber what time our son needs to be picked up everyday but reading > what you wrote helps me understand it way more now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 12, 2008 Report Share Posted January 12, 2008 Sounds like he might have ADD/ADHD in addition to Asperger's as well.. I know because I have both. > > > > > > Hello everyone, > > > > I'm fairly new to this group and I have read quite alot and I do find > I > > have a hard time identifying with some tof the things yoou talk about > > but the last day of emails have hit home with me. To the last > > email I read about initiating conversations with poeple about things > > you've dome with them. That is so my husband. It drives me crazy > that > > he remebers all these stories funny stories about others but he can't > > remeber what time our son needs to be picked up everyday but reading > > what you wrote helps me understand it way more now. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 12, 2008 Report Share Posted January 12, 2008 Thanks, - I am still learning to think about when I can do things naturally without being abrupt, and connectors are thr thing. Thank you for a great idea- to connect a good experience I had with the current conversation, so that I can get it in more naturally. I'll do it! wrote: .,,I like the ideae of remembering a wonderful time I had with someone and if I see them to say, "Remember the time when ...." and then just use a connector based upon what something someone said to keep the conversation going. I learned that at my CHADD meeting this past Tuesday. However, I have used connectors in previous conversations and never thought what they were.>> > > Hi everyone, > > I will be in California between Sunday 1/13/08 and Wednesday 1/23/08, visiting my father (NS), who has been seriously ill. I feel as if I can communicate with him much better than ever before- I am learning so much-if anyone has ideas, please post- I will try to read my email in the next day or so. : ~ ) > > Thanks,> > > > > ---------------------------------> Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.> Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 12, 2008 Report Share Posted January 12, 2008 Make sure it has a section for putting addresses in it. If he forgets his cell phone (if he has one) and needs to call someone, the address/phone info he needs will be there. > > > > > > Hello everyone, > > > > I'm fairly new to this group and I have read quite alot and I do find > I > > have a hard time identifying with some tof the things yoou talk about > > but the last day of emails have hit home with me. To the last > > email I read about initiating conversations with poeple about things > > you've dome with them. That is so my husband. It drives me crazy > that > > he remebers all these stories funny stories about others but he can't > > remeber what time our son needs to be picked up everyday but reading > > what you wrote helps me understand it way more now. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 13, 2008 Report Share Posted January 13, 2008 DISCLAIMER TO EVERYONE READING THIS POST: I am NOT an expert on communication whatsoever, so don't take what I have written for granted. What I am sharing with and everyone here is based upon my own observations only and not on a theory or anything else. ... It's easier than you think.. so much you won't need to think about it If it's something not familiar with you, try it on a friend. And do nothing but listen to your friend. As you're listening to that individual, pick out something that interests you in what that person said. I'll use an example through education, since you can relate to the classroom. For example's sake, let's say that I go into a Starbucks and I notice you drinking a latte or your favorite beverage. A minute later, you and I are talking. The conversation goes as follows: Me: " Hey, , how are things going? " You: " Well, things have been pretty good, except the kids in my math class. Some of them seem to giving me more trouble that I thought. " Me: " Oh really.. what kind of trouble are they giving you? " (Connector to what you just got said) You: " Seems like this one girl is kind of uninterested in some of the things I have been teaching with math to the students. I feel she might be a little bored and has been interrupting classes due to her behavior. " Me: You said she might be a little bored. Has she been like this before in your classes? (Connector to what you said, followed up with a question) You: " Yes, she has on a few occasions. " Me: " Have you arrived at any conclusions about why she might be feeling this way? " (Connector to the conversation so far, and I keep asking questions to probe further) You: " I can't be for sure, but I think she might have some form of Attention Deficit Disorder. She seems to be starving for attention and is interrupting classes to get my attention. I remember when you told me about being diagnosed with ADD with hyperactivity and how you knew you had it in grade school. I think this young girl is going through some of the same things you did when you were much younger. " (Connector from previous conversation with me) Me: " Have you considered getting her tested for ADD? " (Connector to what you just said with another probing question) You: " No, but I am going to talk with her parents and suggest it. Thank you for suggesting that to me. " This is an example I used on a professional scale, but connectors can be used just as easily outside a professional environment. > > > > > > > > Hi everyone, > > > > I will be in California between Sunday 1/13/08 and Wednesday > 1/23/08, visiting my father (NS), who has been seriously ill. I feel > as if I can communicate with him much better than ever before- I am > learning so much-if anyone has ideas, please post- I will try to read > my email in the next day or so. : ~ ) > > > > Thanks, > > > > > > > > > > --------------------------------- > > Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage. > > > > > > > > > --------------------------------- > Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 13, 2008 Report Share Posted January 13, 2008 , Interesting. I have had ADD kids before, and the biggest trouble I have had- at least when they are non-spectrum- is in keeping them from trying to push my buttons when I am trying to teach. AS/ ADHD kids would be far easier in that regard, I think- but now that i know about AS, maybe I would handle it differently, and I know I would not take it personally as I did before. : ~ ) Your connectors were really tight. This was what you mean by connectors- I recently attended a seminar on "Social Pragmatics" where they talked about this, and also discussed something called an "event narrative", in which the speaker says 10-12 sentences about a topic without being interrupted, and then it is the other person's turn. The speaker's suggestion was that we craft these event narratives, to gain practice. Have you ever done this? wrote: DISCLAIMER TO EVERYONE READING THIS POST: I am NOT an expert on communication whatsoever, so don't take what I have written for granted. What I am sharing with and everyone here is based upon my own observations only and not on a theory or anything else....It's easier than you think.. so much you won't need to think about it If it's something not familiar with you, try it on a friend. And do nothing but listen to your friend. As you're listening to that individual, pick out something that interests you in what that person said. I'll use an example through education, since you can relate to the classroom.For example's sake, let's say that I go into a Starbucks and I notice you drinking a latte or your favorite beverage. A minute later, you and I are talking. The conversation goes as follows:Me: "Hey, , how are things going?"You: "Well, things have been pretty good, except the kids in my math class. Some of them seem to giving me more trouble that I thought."Me: "Oh really.. what kind of trouble are they giving you?" (Connector to what you just got said)You: "Seems like this one girl is kind of uninterested in some of the things I have been teaching with math to the students. I feel she might be a little bored and has been interrupting classes due to her behavior."Me: You said she might be a little bored. Has she been like this before in your classes? (Connector to what you said, followed up with a question)You: "Yes, she has on a few occasions."Me: "Have you arrived at any conclusions about why she might be feeling this way?" (Connector to the conversation so far, and I keep asking questions to probe further)You: "I can't be for sure, but I think she might have some form of Attention Deficit Disorder. She seems to be starving for attention and is interrupting classes to get my attention. I remember when you told me about being diagnosed with ADD with hyperactivity and how you knew you had it in grade school. I think this young girl is going through some of the same things you did when you were much younger." (Connector from previous conversation with me)Me: "Have you considered getting her tested for ADD?" (Connector to what you just said with another probing question)You: "No, but I am going to talk with her parents and suggest it. Thank you for suggesting that to me." This is an example I used on a professional scale, but connectors can be used just as easily outside a professional environment. > >> > > > > > Hi everyone, > > > > I will be in California between Sunday 1/13/08 and Wednesday > 1/23/08, visiting my father (NS), who has been seriously ill. I feel > as if I can communicate with him much better than ever before- I am > learning so much-if anyone has ideas, please post- I will try to read > my email in the next day or so. : ~ ) > > > > Thanks,> > > > > > > > > > ---------------------------------> > Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.> >> > > > > > > ---------------------------------> Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.> Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Yahoo! Search. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 13, 2008 Report Share Posted January 13, 2008 ... Not only are people crafting narratives, but they are painting pictures or planting seeds within a person's mind. Have I done the going back and forth? Not in practice. But, it is a terrific idea. One thing which is advisable for people who can't seem to be quiet for 10-12 sentences is to keep a pad of paper and pen/pencil with them to jot down questions, ideas, etc. So when they're done talking, you have something to question further. This allows you to be focused on the conversation but gives you an " out " in jotting something down to ask later. > > > > > > > > > > > > Hi everyone, > > > > > > I will be in California between Sunday 1/13/08 and Wednesday > > 1/23/08, visiting my father (NS), who has been seriously ill. I > feel > > as if I can communicate with him much better than ever before- I am > > learning so much-if anyone has ideas, please post- I will try to > read > > my email in the next day or so. : ~ ) > > > > > > Thanks, > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > --------------------------------- > > > Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > --------------------------------- > > Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. > Try it now. > > > > > > > > > --------------------------------- > Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Yahoo! Search. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 13, 2008 Report Share Posted January 13, 2008 , I am not ADHD (well, I will be tested for that as well in February, but I do not b elieve I am), but my difficulties are in the area of retaining what was said. Often, I miss part of it, or do not understand a part, and then, when I try to construct it cognitively, I lose track of the details and have to ask to have part of it repeated. Writing things down does help, at least a bit. At least then, I can let go of what I am trying to understand, and concentrate on the next part. wrote: ...Not only are people crafting narratives, but they are painting pictures or planting seeds within a person's mind. Have I done the going back and forth? Not in practice. But, it is a terrific idea.One thing which is advisable for people who can't seem to be quiet for 10-12 sentences is to keep a pad of paper and pen/pencil with them to jot down questions, ideas, etc. So when they're done talking, you have something to question further. This allows you to be focused on the conversation but gives you an "out" in jotting something down to ask later.> > >> > > > > > > > > Hi everyone, > > > > > > I will be in California between Sunday 1/13/08 and Wednesday > > 1/23/08, visiting my father (NS), who has been seriously ill. I > feel > > as if I can communicate with him much better than ever before- I am > > learning so much-if anyone has ideas, please post- I will try to > read > > my email in the next day or so. : ~ ) > > > > > > Thanks,> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > ---------------------------------> > > Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.> > >> > > > > > > > > > > > > > ---------------------------------> > Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. > Try it now.> >> > > > > > > ---------------------------------> Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Yahoo! Search.> Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 13, 2008 Report Share Posted January 13, 2008 > > > > > > > > > Hello everyone, > > > > > > I'm fairly new to this group and I have read quite alot and I do > find > > I > > > have a hard time identifying with some tof the things yoou talk > about > > > but the last day of emails have hit home with me. To the > last > > > email I read about initiating conversations with poeple about > things > > > you've dome with them. That is so my husband. It drives me > crazy > > that > > > he remebers all these stories funny stories about others but he > can't > > > remeber what time our son needs to be picked up everyday but > reading > > > what you wrote helps me understand it way more now. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 13, 2008 Report Share Posted January 13, 2008 ... Get yourself a tape recorder or microrecorder Does beautifully. 'Tis the beauty of me being ADHD and my ability to brainstorm nicely > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Hi everyone, > > > > > > > > I will be in California between Sunday 1/13/08 and Wednesday > > > 1/23/08, visiting my father (NS), who has been seriously ill. I > > feel > > > as if I can communicate with him much better than ever before- I > am > > > learning so much-if anyone has ideas, please post- I will try to > > read > > > my email in the next day or so. : ~ ) > > > > > > > > Thanks, > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > --------------------------------- > > > > Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > --------------------------------- > > > Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! > Mobile. > > Try it now. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > --------------------------------- > > Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Yahoo! > Search. > > > > > > > > > --------------------------------- > Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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