Another thought on dating

[Guest guest]

I have been watching my daughter and talking with relatives over the

past few days and have learned and observed a few things that might

shed some light on the " how did we miss this stuff " For starters as

we all know these AS people are extremely smart. Also in most of the

cases I have read on this list they had not been diagnosed at the time

of meeting spouse (so very important they were not intentionally

hiding something to be malicious) . So these AS people had been

raised feeling different, maybe odd, possibly picked on for quirks,

disciplined for odd social behavior that " they should know better or

what is wrong with you " So they began people watching and copying to

fit in when they could. However this is very had to keep up. Think of

a torrettes patient trying to hold in a tick or outburst. SO possibly

when some of us met our spouse they modeled our behaviors and seemed

less opposites to us and seemed more like what we find socially except

able. But as they they grew safer with us and as they learned to

trust us as well as spend more time with us this became increasing ly

harder to keep up at the same time as they felt like for the first

time they were understood. only to find as they let their authentic

self come out it is met with confusion and resistance. I see it with

my daughter all the time. She can only last so long on a play date and

then she will ask for the kid to go home or for us to go home .

Now this is not to say they can not change. I am just sharing some

observations I have picked up on. For ex: my husbands cousin and aunt

are HA and stim by rocking constantly. They have learned that it is

socially except able to rock if your in a rocking chair. So if there

is a rocking chair avail that is where they will be found. lol Just a

thought. Kian