Re: Re: I need help please...

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Challenged,

You sound like you have a healthier outlook on life than your ex girlfriend. She probably has not dealt with all the aspects of you having AS. I would definitely stay just friends and make that clear to her.... in a nice way of course!

Her Abbiness #2

Re: I need help please...

Her Abbiness...Yes, I can be her friend. I give myself permission to be her friend, but nothing more at this point. I figure - if things progress beyond friendship, that will happen at the right time. For now, I am focused on living a productive life with Asperger's and ADD. Nothing more, nothing less. Anything beyond that is icing on the cake for me. Yes, I have nothing to lose and I remember some of the great times as well last year. Could be a lot of fun, but just taking everything one day at a time - that is the best advice I could ever give myself.Challenged> > > (as if I am writing to Dear Abby, etc..)> >> > Dear Aspires-Relationships....> >> > My most recent ex-girlfriend was talking with me on the telephone> > this evening. When she began telling me about some of the good times> > we had and such, I'm thinking, "I'm glad you enjoyed the times we> > had." Then, she called me "sexy" and because that's how she always> > felt I was towards her. She went to apologize for saying that because> > she didn't want to give me conflicting thoughts. I get the idea she> > might be interested in wanting to get together with me sometime in> > the future.> >> > I've been replaying the conversation in my mind. This is the same> > woman I told y'all about that officially diagnosed me with both ADD> > and Asperger's. She told me that the reason she ended the> > relationship last year was because she was dealing with her lupus.> > When the ice had finally thawed between myself and her, we talked> > about once a week. I was comfortable with that. I have had the> > impression always that when she wanted to end the relationship that> > she was no longer interested in being more than riends with me. I> > have stayed with that line of thinking. Then she tells me this> > tonight.> >> > Also, she acknowledged that I was adjusting to a new area last year,> > so this contributed to some of how I was feeling (in addition to> > being diagnosed with ADHD and Asperger's). I don't understand her.> > Why would she tell me about all these things? Why do I get the> > impression she is not over me yet? Is it even reasonable that the> > woman who officially diagnosed me with Asperger's and ADHD last year> > still loves me, as she told me? I don't know what I am suppose to> > think or feel. I don't know what is ok or not ok to think or feel.> > I have been doing so well on my journey with Asperger's and ADHD that> > what she said threw me in for a loop.> >> > I am not ready for more than friendship with anyone, including her> > and she told me she loves me. I went so far as to say in this group> > that I wasn't going to be involved in a romantic relationship for the> > next two years. I am staying with that and do not wish to even the> > least bit flexible with that (maybe I shouldn't think that way). I> > have known already that I want 2008 to be my Year of Discovery. This> > is a year for me, in which I have devoted to getting to know and love> > myself.> >> > Signed,> > Challenged in Chattanooga> >> >> >>

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[Guest guest]

Dear Challenged,I congratulate you on your mature and balanced outlook.  Your lady friend is lucky to know such a good man!  H.A.Her Abbiness...Yes, I can be her friend. I give myself permission to be her friend, but nothing more at this point. I figure - if things progress beyond friendship, that will happen at the right time. For now, I am focused on living a productive life with Asperger's and ADD. Nothing more, nothing less. Anything beyond that is icing on the cake for me. Yes, I have nothing to lose and I remember some of the great times as well last year. Could be a lot of fun, but just taking everything one day at a time - that is the best advice I could ever give myself.Challenged> > > (as if I am writing to Dear Abby, etc..)> >> > Dear Aspires-Relationships....> >> > My most recent ex-girlfriend was talking with me on the telephone> > this evening. When she began telling me about some of the good times> > we had and such, I'm thinking, "I'm glad you enjoyed the times we> > had." Then, she called me "sexy" and because that's how she always> > felt I was towards her. She went to apologize for saying that because> > she didn't want to give me conflicting thoughts. I get the idea she> > might be interested in wanting to get together with me sometime in> > the future.> >> > I've been replaying the conversation in my mind. This is the same> > woman I told y'all about that officially diagnosed me with both ADD> > and Asperger's. She told me that the reason she ended the> > relationship last year was because she was dealing with her lupus.> > When the ice had finally thawed between myself and her, we talked> > about once a week. I was comfortable with that. I have had the> > impression always that when she wanted to end the relationship that> > she was no longer interested in being more than riends with me. I> > have stayed with that line of thinking. Then she tells me this> > tonight.> >> > Also, she acknowledged that I was adjusting to a new area last year,> > so this contributed to some of how I was feeling (in addition to> > being diagnosed with ADHD and Asperger's). I don't understand her.> > Why would she tell me about all these things? Why do I get the> > impression she is not over me yet? Is it even reasonable that the> > woman who officially diagnosed me with Asperger's and ADHD last year> > still loves me, as she told me? I don't know what I am suppose to> > think or feel. I don't know what is ok or not ok to think or feel.> > I have been doing so well on my journey with Asperger's and ADHD that> > what she said threw me in for a loop.> >> > I am not ready for more than friendship with anyone, including her> > and she told me she loves me. I went so far as to say in this group> > that I wasn't going to be involved in a romantic relationship for the> > next two years. I am staying with that and do not wish to even the> > least bit flexible with that (maybe I shouldn't think that way). I> > have known already that I want 2008 to be my Year of Discovery. This> > is a year for me, in which I have devoted to getting to know and love> > myself.> >> > Signed,> > Challenged in Chattanooga> >> >> >>