Guest guest Posted January 15, 2008 Report Share Posted January 15, 2008 Greg: I felt like you expressed in your words what your wife feels. That is exactly what it felt like for me. Life is about changes and choices and I felt like Larry just could not make any changes or chose not to as he was comfortable being the way he was. Maybe he couldn't??? Maybe it was his age or choice? I can't speak for him. I went through training today at work on CHANGE and change is a choice we all deal with every day. It would be great if we all had a PAUSE button in our lives before we made a impulse decision or a knee jerk response. It is called LIFE. That is how we learn. It is about choices we make every day. Like Bill and others with AS have articulated, it is a choice and having AS does not take away your ability to make that choice for change or a different outcome in your relationship unless their are other co-morbid disabilities in play. I was watching the TV series Law and Order which is fictional but sometimes reflects the times we are living in. It was a case where the defense attorney was arguing "genes." The ultimate defense they called it. If genes made me who I am, than I cannot be held responsible for my behavior. Hmmmm? We live in a world where we are held responsible for our behavior. Relationships are no different. It takes two to tango and work through the rough times. But both parties have to be willing to do the heavy lifting and change for the better and grow for the better to be better people. Even though Larry and I have only been officially divorced for 7 months, we have been separated for close to 1 to 1/2 year. It took me a good year not to feel like I was walking on egg shells. We have a much better relationship now as we no longer live together and that stress is gone. If it was not for our 3 kids, we probably would not see each other. He showed up at my home with my daughter the other day as her car was in the shop getting her back speakers in her jeep repaired and really showed concern for me in front of her. Funny, he dragged me through a nasty divorce for nothing. BUT, I have moved on in my life and really don't know him any more. He has become a "faint" memory in my life. Don't let that happen to YOU. "You" have a chance to make a better choice and make a difference. Like Bill says, do it NOW, before it is too late and YOU become a faint memory in her life. I say this to you with love and support. It is ALL about choices. You have the POWER to change the outcome. I am not saying she is without blame and neither was I. We only have your side and your words. No one knew back than about AS. No one had any clue we had adults who had assimilated in or were flying under the radar. No one knew there were a zillion SHADES of AS. We just did not know and because of that, failed many generations and many of us have just floundered trying to make it to the mountain. You ALL make a difference every day by sharing your stories. You make other's feel less alone. That is what it is all about. To new members: Welcome aboard. You are in for the ride of your life. This is just my humble opinion. Just me. / a voice from the other side Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.