Re: The Strengths of People with Aspergers

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upperkace29 wrote:

> Would any male AS on the forum be willing to list and detail his

> strengths. I already know some from living with my AS husband, but if

> someone with AS could list them in detail, in the best way they

> understand them, I think that would help my husband recognize some

> traits. I understand everyone is going to have unique and different

> strengths, but it might make things clearer in my situation. Thanks

My Asperger mini-autobio may be of interest: Website URL below. No

actual *list* of strengths, but many will be evident, I think.

I answer questions off-List too, if desired. *He* might be interested?

- Bill, 75, AS; ... " the good parts " still aren't back up. Sorry.

WD " Bill " Loughman - Berkeley, California USA

http://home.earthlink.net/~wdloughman/wdl.htm

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Thanks for the response, and it's nice to have a female AS perspective. I can see a lot, but not all, of those traits in him.Helen Foisy wrote: Hi upperkace29, Again, tho I'm not male, I'd like to weigh in here too. <smile!> Though everyone is different, and not every thing applies to everyone, these are some of the traits that can be found frequently Aspergers individuals. - Helen honesty transparency - no "hidden" motive non manipulative non violent excellent memory, even in older

Aspies good eye for detail responsible for almost all advances in science including medical advances, and technology throughout history of human civilization literarily and artistically inclined Aspies have left huge legacy to the arts - "out of the box" thinking brings forward new forms of artistic expression. practical reliable thorough punctual can work very well without supervision excellent, self motivated individual performer sincere sensible frugal non materialistic not wasteful concerned about the environment - leaves a much smaller "carbon footprint" than average person animal lover non ageist, non sexist, non racist - believes in equality for all respecting of the challenges other people face (eg. disability, mental illness) responsible intelligent well read, often more educated than average population very thorough knowledge and practice in area of

specialty in hobby, vocation and profession steadfast in one's stand - won't "flip-flop" on an issue to align with popular opinion true-blue loyal friend - will stick with you through thick and thin I'm by the time I hit "send" others will have added many excellent traits as well! <grin!> - Helen (52, self-dx'd AS, dx'd ADD) At 03:22 PM 2/24/2008, you wrote: >Would any male AS on the forum be willing to list and detail his >strengths. I already know some from living with my AS husband, but if >someone with AS could list them in detail, in the best way they >understand them, I think that would help my husband recognize some >traits. I understand everyone is going to have unique and different >strengths, but it might make things clearer in my situation. Thanks

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Thanks Bill,I enjoyed your web-site, but I think the hubbie would find it over-whelming, I have to be careful to use not so many words, when we communicate. I think it would help him a lot to talk to another AS male (off-line), but I don't think he's quite there yet. He's been raised in an extremely sheltered environment, where his un-common behavior really went virtually unnoticed, and in some cases encouraged. He was around a lot of NT's that were also unrealistic in their responsibilities, and didn't value communication. With the other bonus of his genius capabilities, he fit right into their value system, but was "king of the hill" so to speak, because of his gifts. We've recently moved to a new area, and he's just beginning to realize that his wife (me) isn't the only finding his behavior peculiar. I'm just trying to find ways to approach him without him feeling criticized. I figure if I could get him to identify with all the positive things first, it might be a

good place to start. Thanks, KWD Loughman wrote: upperkace29 wrote: > Would any male AS on the forum be willing to list and detail his > strengths. I already know some from living with my AS husband, but if > someone with AS could list them in detail, in the best way they > understand them, I think that would help my husband recognize some > traits. I understand everyone is going to have unique and different > strengths, but it might make things clearer in my situation. Thanks My

Asperger mini-autobio may be of interest: Website URL below. No actual *list* of strengths, but many will be evident, I think. I answer questions off-List too, if desired. *He* might be interested? - Bill, 75, AS; ..."the good parts" still aren't back up. Sorry. WD "Bill" Loughman - Berkeley, California USA http://home.earthlink.net/~wdloughman/wdl.htm

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this question has been asked before. this was a man called mike burharts response: i saved it, i liked mike. . THE EIGHT ASPERGER ADVANTAGES There are eight aspects of Asperger Syndrome that you can use to your great advantage: 1. FOCUSYour ability to focus on one objective

over long periods of time without becoming distracted allows you to accomplish large and challenging tasks. 2. UNIQUE GLOBAL INSIGHTSYour ability to find novel connections among multi-disciplinary facts and ideas allows you to create new, coherent, and meaningful insight that others would not have reached without you. 3. INDEPENDENT THINKINGYour willingness to consider unpopular or unusual possibilities generates new options and opportunities and can pave the way for others. 4. INTERNAL MOTIVATIONRather than being swayed by social convention, other's opinions, social pressure or fears, you can hold firm to your own purpose. Your unique ideas can thrive, despite naysayers. 5. ATTENTION TO DETAILYour ability to remember and process minute details without

getting lost or overwhelmed gives you a distinct advantage when solving complex problems. 6. 3-DIMENSIONAL THINKINGYour ability to utilize 3-dimensional visioning gives you a unique perspective when designing and creating solutions. 7. CUTTING THROUGH THE SMOKE SCREENYour ability to recognize and speak the truth that is being "conveniently" ignored by others can be vital to the success of a project or endeavor. 8. LOGICAL DECISION MAKINGYour ability to make logical and rational decisions and stick to your course of action without being swayed by impulse or emotional reactions allows you to navigate successfully through difficult situations without being pulled off-course. Source:a M. Elaine, Asperger Coach "The Eight Asperger

Advantages"http://www.coachingasperger.com/pages/advantages_pop.html

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Bonadurer wrote:

> Thanks Bill,

> I enjoyed your web-site, but I think the hubbie would find it

> over-whelming,

Yeah. Written by a single-minded Aspergian, and it shows. That's next

on my list of web-page things to fix. ... " Real soon now. "

> */WD Loughman /* wrote:

> upperkace29 wrote:

> > Would any male AS on the forum be willing to list and detail his

> > strengths. I already know some from living with my AS husband, but if

> > someone with AS could list them in detail, in the best way they

> > understand them, I think that would help my husband recognize some

> > traits. I understand everyone is going to have unique and different

> > strengths, but it might make things clearer in my situation. Thanks

>

> My Asperger mini-autobio may be of interest: Website URL below. No

> actual *list* of strengths, but many will be evident, I think.

>

> I answer questions off-List too, if desired. *He* might be interested?

- Bill, 75, AS (formal)

WD " Bill " Loughman - Berkeley, California USA

http://home.earthlink.net/~wdloughman/wdl.htm

[Guest guest]

Hello all,

Strengths of people with Aspergers?

The attached list below from Helen are interesting.

(only wish they all applied to me!)

I would with respect regard these in the

list as being the generalized possible or potential strengths that one might

find. Lucky to find them all together in any one individual, I guess.

My own list of strengths…..

Great sense of humour. And

above all, despite my intensity study, thinking and concentration, I generally don’t

take myself very seriously.

Soft-heartedness. This is frequently

not recognized in my marital relations, because of the difficulty in contacting

and connecting with the NT partner.

Intense concentration, and focusing on

things.

A flexibility that enables me to switch

practical decisions when I observe the conviction and certainty exhibited by an

NT companion, that varies from my own.

Love of Cats especially, above all

animals.

Ability to maintain healthy hygienic and sensible

daily habits

No bad addictions.

No risk taking in regard to life and limb.

A deep interest in Psychology, which gives

me a theoretical understanding of human nature and its variations.

Artistic capacity and passion for same,

that expresses in love of beauty, and my abilities in Acting and Public

Speaking.

No inclination to manipulate any other

person to their own disadvantage.

General ability to keep my head, and not

let emotion cloud my judgement in daily life.

A profound keenness to use my talents and

passions to instruct and inform and entertain other people in the world.

Non violent. Have a hatred of

violence and inflicting pain and suffering.

Fine memory for the material I study.

Fine vocabulary and considerable skills in

speaking and speechmaking.

Keenness to learn about my own Psychology

and nature.

Childlike characteristics retained into

old age. (not all consider this an advantage!)

Punctuality and conscientiousness

Rarely biased on race or sex etc.

Very patient and tolerant. This doesn’t

mean that I’m always happy when indulging my patience.

Intelligent and well-read (within my

reasonable range of interests. I confess freely to having some big

gaps in my knowledge and understanding)

Loyal and respectful to my

friends. Respectful and considerate towards most others.

Desperate to do the ‘right thing’.

No desire to ever get revenge or hurt

another.

That’s all I can think of at the

moment.

(please don’t ask me to describe my

faults as well! I will get self conscious)

Ron.

Subject:

The Strengths of People with AspergersHi

upperkace29,

Again, tho I'm not male, I'd like to weigh in here too. <smile!>

Though everyone is different, and not every thing applies to

everyone, these are some of the traits that can be found frequently

Aspergers individuals.

- Helen

honesty

transparency - no " hidden " motive

non manipulative

non violent

excellent memory, even in older Aspies

good eye for detail

responsible for almost all advances in science including medical

advances, and technology throughout history of human civilization

literarily and artistically inclined Aspies have left huge legacy to

the arts - " out of the box " thinking brings forward new forms of

artistic expression.

practical

reliable

thorough

punctual

can work very well without supervision

excellent, self motivated individual performer

sincere

sensible

frugal

non materialistic

not wasteful

concerned about the environment - leaves a much smaller " carbon

footprint " than average person

animal lover

non ageist, non sexist, non racist - believes in equality for all

respecting of the challenges other people face (eg. disability, mental illness)

responsible

intelligent

well read, often more educated than average population

very thorough knowledge and practice in area of specialty in hobby,

vocation and profession

steadfast in one's stand - won't " flip-flop " on an issue to align

with popular opinion

true-blue loyal friend - will stick with you through thick and thin

I'm by the time I hit " send " others will have added many excellent

traits as well!

<grin!>

- Helen (52, self-dx'd AS, dx'd ADD)

[Guest guest]

Wow, that hit me right between the eyes, Way to go. I have just only recently begun learning about this since we've been separated, so I still have a lot to process. I believe for the most part, the only person who seems extremely similar, to my husband is his father, and I don't know if he could possibly be AS. I was able to "resonate" with the other members of his family, and the people around him well enough to where I felt a "familiar" connection. As an NT, I could just note that they had some other issues, in their responsibilities, and communication. Similar to what I had, before I matured a little. Just kind of growing up stuff they needed to do. I could see the process going on in them, like I had going on in me when I was younger, before I learned how to take more responsibility, and communicate better, so I related and connected to that. ( That's why I assumed they are NT, because I pretty much automatically understood why they were acting the way they

were) I just didn't see a similar process going on in my husband or his father, it confused me, but now I hope I'm getting insight into why that was so.Princess wrote: , How do you know they were or are NT? Bonadurer <upperkace29> wrote: Thanks Bill,I enjoyed your web-site,

but I think the hubbie would find it over-whelming, I have to be careful to use not so many words, when we communicate. I think it would help him a lot to talk to another AS male (off-line), but I don't think he's quite there yet. He's been raised in an extremely sheltered environment, where his un-common behavior really went virtually unnoticed, and in some cases encouraged. He was around a lot of NT's that were also unrealistic in their responsibilities, and didn't value communication. With the other bonus of his genius capabilities, he fit right into their value system, but was "king of the hill" so to speak, because of his gifts. We've recently moved to a new area, and he's just beginning to realize that his wife (me) isn't the only finding his behavior peculiar. I'm just trying to find ways to approach him without him feeling criticized. I figure if I could get him to identify with all the positive things first, it might be a good place to start. Thanks, K . Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

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Hey wait – if we don’t have some of these, can we apply and get

them???  I’m AS, and so is my hubby.  He definitely didn’t get the frugal or “green”

things.  He thinks even the idea of a carbon footprint is silliness – oh, and

he hates animals, especially cats..    And I definitely struggle in the

self-motivated side.  Hmm.. I’m pouting about what I didn’t get..  But I agree

with Ron – the sense of humor is a BIG one I’ve noticed as well as soft-heartedness. 

That’s a tricky one, because I know my husband is VERY soft-hearted towards me,

but it’s the WAY he shows it that confuses people.   Also, another one that I’ve

seen – many AS have a great way of noticing BS quickly.  We can see when

someone is full of it.    But both Ron and Helen had great lists, made for an

interesting conversation at dinner tonight!!

-:¦:-

(¯`'•.¸(¯`a Kathleen Simpson´¯)¸.•'´¯)-:¦:-

From: aspires-relationships

[mailto:aspires-relationships ] On Behalf Of Helen Foisy

Sent: Sunday, February 24, 2008 4:35 PM

To: aspires-relationships

Subject: The Strengths of People with Aspergers

Hi upperkace29,

Again, tho I'm not male, I'd like to weigh in here too. <smile!>

Though everyone is different, and not every thing applies to

everyone, these are some of the traits that can be found frequently

Aspergers individuals.

- Helen

honesty

transparency - no " hidden " motive

non manipulative

non violent

excellent memory, even in older Aspies

good eye for detail

responsible for almost all advances in science including medical

advances, and technology throughout history of human civilization

literarily and artistically inclined Aspies have left huge legacy to

the arts - " out of the box " thinking brings forward new forms of

artistic expression.

practical

reliable

thorough

punctual

can work very well without supervision

excellent, self motivated individual performer

sincere

sensible

frugal

non materialistic

not wasteful

concerned about the environment - leaves a much smaller " carbon

footprint " than average person

animal lover

non ageist, non sexist, non racist - believes in equality for all

respecting of the challenges other people face (eg. disability, mental illness)

responsible

intelligent

well read, often more educated than average population

very thorough knowledge and practice in area of specialty in hobby,

vocation and profession

steadfast in one's stand - won't " flip-flop " on an issue to align

with popular opinion

true-blue loyal friend - will stick with you through thick and thin

I'm by the time I hit " send " others will have added many excellent

traits as well!

<grin!>

- Helen (52, self-dx'd AS, dx'd ADD)

At 03:22 PM 2/24/2008, you wrote:

>Would any male AS on the forum be willing to list and detail his

>strengths. I already know some from living with my AS husband, but if

>someone with AS could list them in detail, in the best way they

>understand them, I think that would help my husband recognize some

>traits. I understand everyone is going to have unique and different

>strengths, but it might make things clearer in my situation. Thanks

[Guest guest]

,My husbands father has most of the traits of my husband, only to an exageratted degree. He's one of the most Kind, gentle, and hard-working men I've ever met but is pretty emotionally closed off, so I can't say I know him too well. I've never had a conversation with him, even though I was around him a lot, just very short, hey, how ya' doin' kindof stuff (a lot of head nodding). I know he feels extremely awkward in social situations, like weddings and such, usually just appears and then just disappears. I know he cares about his family very much, but I also know his (about to be ex-wife) feels horribly wounded about the years they were married. They had been separated for about 10 years, and he didn't initiate contact or communication with her during that time (they only lived about 8 miles apart), so she just went ahead recently and filed the paper-work. I am confused though, because although my husband displays much of the "clinical" symptoms of AS, he

doesn't seem to be extremely socially awkward. I notice he doesn't pick up on a lot of social clues, or really seem to read other peoples true intentions sometimes, but he can be very social and funny in the right situation. He exudes this kind of "glow" (I know that sounds funny, but it's true) and I've honestly never heard him express any insecurity whatsoever. It's like he just has this wonderful "super-world" that he is very comfortable with himself in. It was really wonderful to be around at first, until I realized that I don't think I live in "super-world" too. I would like to, but I got stuck in stupid old "common" world :)KPrincess wrote: , I believe that my mother was AS, and that her mother was on the spectrum (though perhaps undiagnosable, since she was born with "the skin growing over her eyes" as she said, and could not see till she was seven years old, after surgery). AS and autism have a very strong hereditary link- if one member of a family is on the spectrum, it is much more likely that another member of the family will be. What traits does your husband's dad have? Hmmmmm.... Does he like talking primarily about more pleasant things, or is he a realist? Does he take things kind of literally? You know the drill! (I think??) Does he have a train set in the attic? : ~ ) Bonadurer

<upperkace29> wrote: Wow, that hit me right between the eyes, Way to go. I have just only recently begun learning about this since we've been separated, so I still have a lot to process. I believe for the most part, the only person who seems extremely similar, to my husband is his father, and I don't know if he could possibly be AS. I was able to "resonate" with the other members of his family, and the people around him well enough to where I felt a "familiar" connection. As an NT, I could just note that they had some other issues, in their responsibilities, and communication. Similar to what I had, before I matured a little. Just kind of growing up stuff they needed to do. I could see the process going on in them, like I had going on in me when I was younger, before I learned how to take more responsibility, and

communicate better, so I related and connected to that. ( That's why I assumed they are NT, because I pretty much automatically understood why they were acting the way they were) I just didn't see a similar process going on in my husband or his father, it confused me, but now I hope I'm getting insight into why that was so.Princess <creativelywired> wrote: , How do you know they were or are NT? Bonadurer <upperkace29> wrote: Thanks Bill,I enjoyed your web-site, but I think the hubbie would find it over-whelming, I have to be careful to use not so many words, when

we communicate. I think it would help him a lot to talk to another AS male (off-line), but I don't think he's quite there yet. He's been raised in an extremely sheltered environment, where his un-common behavior really went virtually unnoticed, and in some cases encouraged. He was around a lot of NT's that were also unrealistic in their responsibilities, and didn't value communication. With the other bonus of his genius capabilities, he fit right into their value system, but was "king of the hill" so to speak, because of his gifts. We've recently moved to a new area, and he's just beginning to realize that his wife (me) isn't the only finding his behavior peculiar. I'm just trying to find ways to approach him without him feeling criticized. I figure if I could get him to identify with all the positive things first, it might be a good place to start. Thanks, K . Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage. Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with

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Helen Foisy wrote:

> excellent memory, even in older Aspies

Careful, only for some things. There is little emotional memory and many

have a very poor memory in some respects. I am one of those. We do have

an encyclopaedic knowledge but recall is strange.

Conversation literally two minutes before, no idea what was said, if I

even remember having a conversation. In part this is why I have no

qualifications, which are essentially just a memory test.

I might be able to tell you about a scene from 40 years ago though if it

is one that is stored. Can remember roads from one use many years ago.

Can be funny when something changes... I know there is a road there but

isn't.

Loving motion is supposed to be common and vehicles not walking.

> responsible for almost all advances in science including medical

> advances, and technology throughout history of human civilization

Sceptical.

> punctual

Sometimes. Context dependent.

> can work very well without supervision

And very badly with supervision.

> concerned about the environment - leaves a much smaller " carbon

> footprint " than average person

That is why I replied, bullshit. I for one consider the carbon issue to

be fantasy, there is no good evidence and lots of plain wrongthink. Sure

I care about efficiency (you are right in a way) but not as almost

always done because we have to go forwards. In my book the enviro

movement is plain evil. Self interested monsters. There are much better

ways, that is not it. There is wall to wall everyone knows when they

don't, manipulation and propaganda galore, emotion everywhere.

It ought to be solid science and engineering but isn't. Science is

corrupt. Feynman amongst others was right, it's degenerated into nonsense.

Me?

I'm a practical problem solver, diagnostician, but also useless in many

ways.

Bizarre thing I bet is common: we are either extremely untidy or

extremely precise in the same person depending on context.