Trust Issues

[Guest guest]

Greetings:

Let me tell you a personal story on TRUST....

I think TRUST is a personal issue where the individual has their OWN standards that vary from person to person.

For example: I had an Uncle who was married to a real **nut** job. They divorced. He was a cop at the time, well loved by everyone. One of her issues was jealousy. She would literally cut up his clothes and do a lot of other crazy things. But back in those days, family was family. They had three kids. They finally divorce which was hard as my mothers family are devout Catholics. He leaves the police force and becomes a building inspector. He meets who becomes the love of his life. They marry. It is like a Cinderella marriage. He is everything to her and she takes good care of him. The family loves her and him. When he was growing up a younger sibling could not pronounce his name and called him Tootsie and to this day he is still called that and Toots. It was a nick name that just kept going even when he was with law enforcement. The years go by and they appear to be the perfect couple. One day she throws him out of the house and immediately calls a attorney and divorces him. The family is stunned. My mom is one of 10 siblings and I have over 35 first cousins. Very close. I think we probably have a dozen professions covered within the family. A lot of cops/attorneys in the SF Bay area.

He cheated on her and she found out and the TRUST was broken forever for HER. He was everything to her. The sun rose and set at his feet. I remember asking my mother, WHY did she throw her marriage away for ONE indiscretion and my mom said, it was not the affair, it was WHO he did it with. She never forgave either one of them. That was HER choice and the family respected that and life went on. It was sister........ YIKES. I think my gut reaction was what is it with this family? His ex just married another Uncle while my biological Aunt was on her death bed? Fortunately this has been our only scandal. Oh wait?? There was that fiquita scandal in the SF Bay Area Police Department. My cousin Rick was up for Chief of Police when three run away cops had to hold up someone for Mexican food where one of their dad's was running for Chief. They needed someone to nail and they nailed Rick. Voter fraud. They wanted and encouraged their cops to be registered in the district where they worked and Rick registered at his mothers address in SF as well as his home address. When I heard I was laughing as Rick was considered a red hot cop. By the book Rick. He lived by the rules. The rules are the rules. NO exception and yet he broke them and could not see that at the time????

That is how they nailed him. He resigned immediately to prevent his mother from being investigated who had worked for the DA's office for years. Wasn't it Harry Belafonte who sang, "Shame and Scandal in the Family?" lol Life does go on. Rick was forced to leave law enforcement but I promise you he retired with a very healthy pension. He never saw Chief of Police but he had new beginnings and him and his family are doing well. His sons suffered as they were in private schools. Having a dad with the stigma of being a dirty cop is not good, but he made it right and life went on. That is what it is all about.

I just share this with you as TRUST has different values and meanings to different people. A dear friend reminded me today that we walked through quick sand to get to the finish line. Trust/Choice or a zillion other things. It is always about YOU and you have choices. I had my reasons for staying in a broken marriage and looking back and knowing what I know now about Larry and me? We BOTH would of made better choices. Our kids deserved that and we did as well. It is not that we did not try or I advocate for divorce, I advocate for life.

TRUST is a personal issue that might look different or hold different values to others on this list. I think we need to be respectful of that. What you might find intolerable might not matter to someone else. Just a thought.

Just my 2 cents worth as usual.