Re: Calming Down an AS spouse

[Guest guest]

Daneka, I feel for you and for him. i have been there. I have no good ideas, unless he is a man of faith: I have learned to trust the Lord, and to rely on Himn in times like these-- and you are right: His fear alone will have him in trouble. One think you might do is to help him see that you believe in him, and that he knows he was honest, and try to gget him to take comfort from the fact that doing the right think is good, even if one does not get treated well. If he can feel good about himself, then it will be better. Another may be to tell him to meditate on the fact that he did the right thing, because an NT can read that he is honest, right from his face. A third may be to tell him that whatever he does, maintain eye contact, and know that it will be all right. Have you ever seen Simon Baron-Cohen's Mind Reading software? I learned to read the

emotions of "trust" and "resp[ect' from it recently, and I can now read "disrespect" and "contempt" (like pride, in the USA). There is an emotion called "honesty". hte point is that if he feels he is honest and somply reflects on that, then the NTs in the room will read it, and he will be OK. If your husband knows this, it will encourage him, I think. It is an encouragement to me. I wish I had known this a decade ago, when I went through the divorce-- I was so scared by that process that I did not get the best results at all. I hope all goes well- but remember that I like you either way- and even though I have never met him, I like him too. (Definitely AS) Daneka Wheeler wrote: My AS husband has a meeting to attend that he's very anxious about. The short of it is that someone suspects (wrongly!) that my husband has tried to steal their idea and form a business. The business my husband contemplates forming is his own idea, though he was aware of this other person's related work.Nevertheless, my husband is so anxious about this meeting, that he's literally shaking and sends off signals that anyone would suspect. I tried to help him relax about it, but I couldn't. Any suggestions?Daneka, NT married 20 years and still

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[Guest guest]

daneeka:presumably i dont have to tell you about the patent protection of this idea.if the idea is novel or has a similar idea that is sufficiently different then explain this to him. allow him to explain the sufficient differences between this idea and the other guys to you in a legal context. yeah it may be similar but with enough novel ideas to make it sufficiently different. tell your husband they probably want to know how the idea is similar to and different to their own idea to protect it. they may be using this as a smoke screen to make your husband nervous and regurgitate his idea so they can steal it. 36 m diagnosed ASDaneka Wheeler wrote: My AS husband has a meeting to attend that he's very anxious about. The short of it is that someone suspects (wrongly!) that my husband has tried to steal their idea and form a business. The business my husband contemplates forming is his own idea, though he was aware of this other person's related work.Nevertheless, my husband is so anxious about this meeting, that he's literally shaking and sends off signals that anyone would suspect. I tried to help him relax about it, but I couldn't. Any suggestions?Daneka, NT married 20

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Thanks . Yes, he's aware of the patent issue, but it's not so much an idea as a business process, so not subject to patent protection. Also, other people are doing very similar things, so again, not so novel. The problem I see is that even though my husband KNOWS that he has done nothing wrong, his awareness that someone else THINKS he did is almost paralyzing. I think it relates to modulating his emotions - anxiety in this case -- that we talked about under another heading. He hasn't slept in three days, he's that upset. I can't see how to help him. In my own head, the other guy is just wrong, and I just discount whatever he says because he's mistaken. If he doesn't acknowledge that he's mistaken, that's his problem. My husband's response, though, is more visceral. I wish I had a magic wand that

would release him from the anxiety.Daneka My AS husband has a meeting to attend that he's very anxious about. The short of it is that someone suspects (wrongly!) that my husband has tried to steal their idea and form a business. The business my husband contemplates forming is his own idea, though he was aware of this other person's related work.Nevertheless, my husband is so anxious about this meeting, that he's literally shaking and sends off signals that anyone would suspect. I tried to help him relax about it, but I couldn't. Any suggestions?Daneka, NT married 20

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[Guest guest]

me here: if i had done same and it was my idea, i wouldnt are for others opinions, wouldnt lose any sleep over it. i would know it was mine and that would be the end of that. however if my personal integrity was being questioned i would become anxious. over stressed and irrational. i have in the past needed sleeping pilss for same. hope it works out for you both. 36 m diagnosed AS Daneka Wheeler wrote: Thanks . Yes, he's aware of the patent issue, but it's not so much an idea as a business process, so not subject to patent protection. Also, other people are doing very similar things, so again, not so novel. The problem I see is that even though my husband KNOWS that he has done nothing wrong, his awareness that someone else THINKS he did is almost paralyzing. I think it relates to modulating his emotions - anxiety in this case -- that we talked about under another heading. He hasn't slept in three days, he's that upset. I can't see how to help him. In my own head, the other guy is just wrong, and I just discount whatever he says because he's mistaken. If he doesn't acknowledge that he's mistaken, that's his problem. My husband's response, though, is more visceral. I wish I had a magic wand that would release him from the

anxiety.Daneka My AS husband has a meeting to attend that he's very anxious about. The short of it is that someone suspects (wrongly!) that my husband has tried to steal their idea and form a business. The business my husband contemplates forming is his own idea, though he was aware of this other person's related work.Nevertheless, my husband is so anxious about this meeting, that he's literally shaking and sends off signals that anyone would suspect. I tried to help him relax about it, but I couldn't.

Any suggestions?Daneka, NT married 20 years and still learning Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage. Rise to the challenge for Sport Relief with Yahoo! for Good Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.

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