About this evening....

[Guest guest]

I went to therapy (about once every three weeks to a month). My

therpaist and I talked about empathy exercises this evening. I told

him about an experience lately that happened at work. Before I left

for Atlanta last week, the general manager of my company announced

that we would move moving to different desks within this past

Saturday. While I was in Atlanta, one of my fellow co-workers

decided to take everything upon himself to move my stuff to his

former desk (which I now occupy), and his stuff to my former desk

(which he now occupies). He chose to do all of this WITHOUT asking

me about it first. In other words, he had no regard for how I would

feel about the situation.

When I got back from Atlanta, everything has been place on the desk

in my new area. At first, I didn't know what to think. Then another

co-worker of mine was rather ticked off when telling me what he did

and how he didn't want to come in on Saturday and help move

because " he's too good to work on Saturdays " . I wasn't about to be

drawn in to all this drama, so I let it go in one ear and out the

other. I know how people are where I work, as a strong redneck

mentality exists there. Think of Jeff Foxworthy's style of humor if

you don't know what a redneck is. I have never gotten along with

rednecks very well. They're crude, inconsiderate of others, think

that shooting a bear or dear and putting its head on the mantle of a

wall is a sight to behold (and the list goes on and on). Utterly

ridiculous.

So, I told my therapist that I had sympathy for my female co-worker

because of the way she felt (I would have felt the same way if I

could have expressed a lot of anger) and empathy for the male co-

worker (becauase while I don't agree with what he did, I see his

point of not wanting to work on any Saturdays - trust me, if I didn't

need to work for financial reasons, I wouldn't work on Saturdays

either). So, I know the difference between sympathy and empathy

quite well. At least not related to romantic relationship stuff.

I saw this one brochure next to me, as I was waiting to talk with my

therpaist. Called, " How To Avoid Marrying a Jerk or Jerkette: A

Relationship Class For Singles " . I read further and thought how this

might benefit me. The rest of it goes as follows:

" Do you feel like you constantly meet someone, fall madly in love and

then slowly realize that this person is not at all who you thoguht

they were? In How To Avoid Marrying a Jerk/Jerkette, you will learn

the skills necessary to follow your heart without losing your mind.

You will learn to find " the one " by:

- recognize subtle, hidden signs of future problems

- assessing your partner's true personality/attitude

- analyzing your partner's conscience

- pacing the relationship to prevent premature emotional attachment

- focusing on your emotional health so you're not the jerk/jerkette

- delaying sex until trust and commitment are firmly in place

While this is offered to everyone free of charge and is geared

towards those who don't have " differences " , I asked my therapist what

he thought of me taking this class. He felt it would be excellent for

me because I have the additional " add-ons " that many people do not

with AS, etc. My greatest concerns I brought up was <1> not seeing

the signs that someone is trying to take advantage of me, <2> falling

in love too quickly with someone because they think I'm the best guy

that person has ever come to know, <3> delaying sex until later on

and such. I told my therapist that I want to be like other people

who have AS who go on to have successful relationships, etc. Even

NT's would benefit from a relationship class as this.

My running joke after finishing that class will be that I will know

more about relationship skills that many (but not all) NTs. Having

these skills will put me on a more equal footing with NTs and in

fact, may make my relationship prospects better than a number of NT

males. Think I'm going to feel sorry for people (NTs, ASs, or anyone

else) who don't want to take the time to work on themselves because

they think they can use their " natural talents " to attract other

people? Not on your life (and by the way, I wouldn't be the kitchen

sink if I was ya either). Relationships are very hard work, as all

of you know. I don't know of any relationship that ever came so

easily for any two people.

My bed's calling for me..

Yeah, I admit the world can feel lonely at times, even for me. What

keeps me going, in part, is knowing that I could be far worse off

than I am now. Given the life I have lived so far, I've done pretty

well for where I am. I've never been arrested for anything, and

trouble has never found me. Having AS does help with staying out of

trouble. There's nothing better than knowing that " playing dumb "

when I feel like a bad situation could be happening around me. Use

AS traits to my advantage. Act like I don't know anything's

happening (even though I am very cognizant of my surroundings).

Someone asks me for a cigarette or for money, " Don't smoke... sorry

I'm broke " . I've learned very quickly it's not good being in certain

parts of Chattanooga after the sun goes down.