Re: It's (the last) time...

[Guest guest]

Best wishes in your life, Bill.. it's been good hearing what you've

had to say.

>

>

> Friends -

>

> My leaving of ASPIRES isn't done in haste. ...NOT done in reaction

to

> any specific incident on the List. Most particularly not in

reaction,

> mine or others', to my mis-adventured email >>to Helen!<< Nor yet

even

> to the fallout from that.

>

> Rather my departure has been " in the works " , slowly percolating

through

> my mind, since before the first of this year.

>

> The *timing* of my departure indeed does have something to do with

the

> List's reaction to the recent incident. And, yes, my reaction to

that

> reaction. I could fill a small book, analyzing both.

>

> Let me emphasize again though: THAT incident, and fallout, _per se_

has

> *nothing* to do with my leaving.

>

> But with that incident I found myself needing to address not one

but two

> non-trivial issues.

>

> Each in its own way was bound to provoke vigorous responses. It

seemed

> to me best, and *least damaging* to ASPIRES, simply to leave with

> minimal explanation and let Tincture-of-Time do its thing.

>

> |

>

> Resolutely I leave " the incident " and anything else to *private

email*.

> This *is* my last post to ASPIRES.

>

> |

>

> Both on-List and privately it's apparent: " minimal explanation "

won't do

> to cover WHY I'm leaving ASPIRES. So here I'll try to address my

_true

> & only_ reasons.

>

> I am seventy-five years old; hale enough & hearty enough for now.

I do

> pretty damn' well, thank you very much. Aging Aspergians seem to

do

> that. Hi, Ron!

>

> Realistically, I'm unlikely to be *as* hale and hearty in fifteen

years

> - when I'm ninety. *Think* of that: 90-years old is only 15

summers

> away. And then, ...what? What if my estimate is shy? Say 10

summers?

>

> *I* think of that. And I think of my family, all of it 2000 miles

away:

> The great-grandson I've never seen, his mother I've never met,

and his

> father I've not seen in nearly 20 years. I think of my only

daughter,

> last visited 20 years ago. And I think of my eldest granddaughter,

> !marrying! only a few months hence...

>

> I don't see any of my family more frequently than once every 2-3

years;

> most far less than that. That's close family, not even trying to

> account for all the rest: uncles, aunts (some still alive!);

cousins and

> all their children...

>

> There are many reasons for the apparent neglect. Some of them even

are

> pretty good. But it *doesn't make any difference*...

>

> ...The point is: I'm running out of time to benefit either them or

me.

> Some of *them* are running out of time. Gotta get cracking!

Travel's

> not getting cheaper; nor any easier on these old bones.

>

> Problem is Time: All my NON-family involvements (lots of them,

often

> very deep) just **eat** Time. Suddenly (it seems) they've gotten

to be

> in my way.

>

> ASPIRES isn't my only Internet involvement; nor even my only autism

> involvement. I've *many* interests in many diverse fields; often

these

> require my physical presence.

>

> I work more, and harder, *since* retirement than I ever did before

that.

>

> In short, I *do* have a life outside ASPIRES. And I've *got* to

start

> again paying attention to it; to those people and things in it with

me.

>

> As I've aged, hale/hearty or not, I've slowed. Everything just

takes

> *longer* now. Not as many things fit into a day anymore; and it's

> harder and harder to just " keep up " with what I've got. Certainly

no

> space for new things, which like everyone, I need too.

Accordingly,

> over a few years, I've been reducing both the number of my

involvements

> and the time I'm willing to give those remaining.

>

> My two-plus years of perseverative attention to things autistic

> (including ASPIRES) must be curtailed.

>

> That's okay really. Finally I've just run out of steam; ...said

what I

> felt compelled to say. Too, now on ASPIRES I'm saying the same

things

> all over again. Best I put the words *once* on my web-site.

>

> I'm with ASPIRES in spirit - *best* damn' site for AS/NT couples!

>

> And I've enjoyed the company, friends, immensely! But it's late,

and

> time to leave the party.

>

> [NB: I will answer most private emails received already, with

subjects

> not covered above.]

>

> - Bill (Now using off-list private email only)

>

> WD " Bill " Loughman - Berkeley, California USA

> http://home.earthlink.net/~wdloughman/wdl.htm

>

[Guest guest]

Bill,

I just wanted to wish you well. We only live once, at least that we know for sure <G> and family is most important. I left a list to which I had once devoted exhaustive hours due to eventual recognition that time and energy are finite quantities and (especially for people who are "givers") sometimes re-prioritizing one's life becomes an absolute necessity.

You've added much value to this list. Thank you for your time and for sharing.

It's (the last) time...

Friends -My leaving of ASPIRES isn't done in haste. ...NOT done in reaction to any specific incident on the List. Most particularly not in reaction, mine or others', to my mis-adventured email >>to Helen!<< Nor yet even to the fallout from that.Rather my departure has been "in the works", slowly percolating through my mind, since before the first of this year.The *timing* of my departure indeed does have something to do with the List's reaction to the recent incident. And, yes, my reaction to that reaction. I could fill a small book, analyzing both.Let me emphasize again though: THAT incident, and fallout, _per se_ has *nothing* to do with my leaving.But with that incident I found myself needing to address not one but two non-trivial issues.Each in its own way was bound to provoke vigorous responses. It seemed to me best, and *least damaging* to ASPIRES, simply to leave with minimal explanation and let Tincture-of-Time do its thing.|Resolutely I leave "the incident" and anything else to *private email*. This *is* my last post to ASPIRES.|Both on-List and privately it's apparent: "minimal explanation" won't do to cover WHY I'm leaving ASPIRES. So here I'll try to address my _true & only_ reasons.I am seventy-five years old; hale enough & hearty enough for now. I do pretty damn' well, thank you very much. Aging Aspergians seem to do that. Hi, Ron!Realistically, I'm unlikely to be *as* hale and hearty in fifteen years - when I'm ninety. *Think* of that: 90-years old is only 15 summers away. And then, ...what? What if my estimate is shy? Say 10 summers?*I* think of that. And I think of my family, all of it 2000 miles away: The great-grandson I've never seen, his mother I've never met, and his father I've not seen in nearly 20 years. I think of my only daughter, last visited 20 years ago. And I think of my eldest granddaughter, !marrying! only a few months hence...I don't see any of my family more frequently than once every 2-3 years; most far less than that. That's close family, not even trying to account for all the rest: uncles, aunts (some still alive!); cousins and all their children...There are many reasons for the apparent neglect. Some of them even are pretty good. But it *doesn't make any difference*......The point is: I'm running out of time to benefit either them or me. Some of *them* are running out of time. Gotta get cracking! Travel's not getting cheaper; nor any easier on these old bones.Problem is Time: All my NON-family involvements (lots of them, often very deep) just **eat** Time. Suddenly (it seems) they've gotten to be in my way.ASPIRES isn't my only Internet involvement; nor even my only autism involvement. I've *many* interests in many diverse fields; often these require my physical presence.I work more, and harder, *since* retirement than I ever did before that.In short, I *do* have a life outside ASPIRES. And I've *got* to start again paying attention to it; to those people and things in it with me.As I've aged, hale/hearty or not, I've slowed. Everything just takes *longer* now. Not as many things fit into a day anymore; and it's harder and harder to just "keep up" with what I've got. Certainly no space for new things, which like everyone, I need too. Accordingly, over a few years, I've been reducing both the number of my involvements and the time I'm willing to give those remaining.My two-plus years of perseverative attention to things autistic (including ASPIRES) must be curtailed.That's okay really. Finally I've just run out of steam; ...said what I felt compelled to say. Too, now on ASPIRES I'm saying the same things all over again. Best I put the words *once* on my web-site.I'm with ASPIRES in spirit - *best* damn' site for AS/NT couples!And I've enjoyed the company, friends, immensely! But it's late, and time to leave the party.[NB: I will answer most private emails received already, with subjects not covered above.]- Bill (Now using off-list private email only)WD "Bill" Loughman - Berkeley, California USAhttp://home.earthlink.net/~wdloughman/wdl.htm

[Guest guest]

I echo 's sentiments, to right down to the last word.

- Helen

At 06:07 AM 4/27/2008, you wrote:

>Bill,

>

>I just wanted to wish you well. We only live once, at least that we

>know for sure <G> and family is most important. I left a list to

>which I had once devoted exhaustive hours due to eventual

>recognition that time and energy are finite quantities and

>(especially for people who are " givers " ) sometimes re-prioritizing

>one's life becomes an absolute necessity.

>

>You've added much value to this list. Thank you for your time and

>for sharing.

>

>

[Guest guest]

bill, I respect your decision. Your website is very good and I am sure we will continue to direct people to it, thanks, jkzBest wishes in your life, Bill.. it's been good hearing what you've had to say.>> > Friends -> > My leaving of ASPIRES isn't done in haste. ...NOT done in reaction to > any specific incident on the List. Most particularly not in reaction, > mine or others', to my mis-adventured email >>to Helen!<< Nor yet even > to the fallout from that.> > Rather my departure has been "in the works", slowly percolating through > my mind, since before the first of this year.> > The *timing* of my departure indeed does have something to do with the > List's reaction to the recent incident. And, yes, my reaction to that > reaction. I could fill a small book, analyzing both.> > Let me emphasize again though: THAT incident, and fallout, _per se_ has > *nothing* to do with my leaving.> > But with that incident I found myself needing to address not one but two > non-trivial issues.> > Each in its own way was bound to provoke vigorous responses. It seemed > to me best, and *least damaging* to ASPIRES, simply to leave with > minimal explanation and let Tincture-of-Time do its thing.> > |> > Resolutely I leave "the incident" and anything else to *private email*. > This *is* my last post to ASPIRES.> > |> > Both on-List and privately it's apparent: "minimal explanation" won't do > to cover WHY I'm leaving ASPIRES. So here I'll try to address my _true > & only_ reasons.> > I am seventy-five years old; hale enough & hearty enough for now. I do > pretty damn' well, thank you very much. Aging Aspergians seem to do > that. Hi, Ron!> > Realistically, I'm unlikely to be *as* hale and hearty in fifteen years > - when I'm ninety. *Think* of that: 90-years old is only 15 summers > away. And then, ...what? What if my estimate is shy? Say 10 summers?> > *I* think of that. And I think of my family, all of it 2000 miles away: > The great-grandson I've never seen, his mother I've never met, and his > father I've not seen in nearly 20 years. I think of my only daughter, > last visited 20 years ago. And I think of my eldest granddaughter, > !marrying! only a few months hence...> > I don't see any of my family more frequently than once every 2-3 years; > most far less than that. That's close family, not even trying to > account for all the rest: uncles, aunts (some still alive!); cousins and > all their children...> > There are many reasons for the apparent neglect. Some of them even are > pretty good. But it *doesn't make any difference*...> > ...The point is: I'm running out of time to benefit either them or me. > Some of *them* are running out of time. Gotta get cracking! Travel's > not getting cheaper; nor any easier on these old bones.> > Problem is Time: All my NON-family involvements (lots of them, often > very deep) just **eat** Time. Suddenly (it seems) they've gotten to be > in my way.> > ASPIRES isn't my only Internet involvement; nor even my only autism > involvement. I've *many* interests in many diverse fields; often these > require my physical presence.> > I work more, and harder, *since* retirement than I ever did before that.> > In short, I *do* have a life outside ASPIRES. And I've *got* to start > again paying attention to it; to those people and things in it with me.> > As I've aged, hale/hearty or not, I've slowed. Everything just takes > *longer* now. Not as many things fit into a day anymore; and it's > harder and harder to just "keep up" with what I've got. Certainly no > space for new things, which like everyone, I need too. Accordingly, > over a few years, I've been reducing both the number of my involvements > and the time I'm willing to give those remaining.> > My two-plus years of perseverative attention to things autistic > (including ASPIRES) must be curtailed.> > That's okay really. Finally I've just run out of steam; ...said what I > felt compelled to say. Too, now on ASPIRES I'm saying the same things > all over again. Best I put the words *once* on my web-site.> > I'm with ASPIRES in spirit - *best* damn' site for AS/NT couples!> > And I've enjoyed the company, friends, immensely! But it's late, and > time to leave the party.> > [NB: I will answer most private emails received already, with subjects > not covered above.]> > - Bill (Now using off-list private email only)> > WD "Bill" Loughman - Berkeley, California USA> http://home.earthlink.net/~wdloughman/wdl.htm>