Guest guest Posted April 27, 2008 Report Share Posted April 27, 2008 and Anita wrote: > > I live and work with my husband as well. It's a > challenge, that's for > sure. I also run a business w/ my AS husband—we each handle our own area of expertise without input from the other—like toddlers engaged in parallel play. I'm curious, is your business based around one of your husband's special interests? (Ours is.) ________________________________________________________________________________\ ____ Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. http://mobile.yahoo.com/;_ylt=Ahu06i62sR8HDtDypao8Wcj9tAcJ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 28, 2008 Report Share Posted April 28, 2008 MARY WROTE:I also run a business w/ my AS husband—we each handleour own area of expertise without input from theother—like toddlers engaged in parallel play. I'm curious, is your business based around one of yourhusband's special interests? (Ours is.) Hi , our business is selling caravans , which we started by chance about 6 years ago. It was not his special interest but it has become just that I was never really sure whether he had any special interest in the past. Well not the common ones that so many other AS have. I do now think that his special interest is his work and succeeding in his work. It is important to him that he is the best at what he does , he is extremely competitive . .He has always been successfull work wise ,he gives more than 100%. he is an extremely hard worker .....he is up as soon as he wakes..sometimes as early as 3,4 0r 5 in the morning. He lives , talks and breathes caravans and I tend to go along for the ride We have purchased a couple of Vintage caravans that he has had restored to an extremely high standard. When work is quieter (not often ) he consumes himself in the restoration. He does not do alot of the work himself but expends alot of energy on managing the people that he does get to do the work. He researches (or gets me to research) to the last tiny detail & spends excessive amounts of money on the work. To him it has to be the best restoration ever. Our last NZ 1959 caravan restoration cost over $20,000 (NZ) and this one which is a rare British 1956 caravan is already well into the high teens and is only 1/4 of the way through. he won't stop until is is finished. (or bankrupt!!!) I do enjoy aspects of our work selling caravans as it is a very positive industry to be in. We do definately have our own very defined roles. However ,alot of my work is directed by him. He writes lists for all the workers ,which no-one can read except me, (including himself)). My list is very long and includes many minor points that I have under control and do on a regular basis every day , but still he needs to write them for me I accept this. : ) I believe the company would not succeed on the level that it does if it were not for me (or someone like me). He has always had a partner who probably unbeknown to him has actually held things together and served a far more important role than he is aware of. He often says to me in his frustration.................."Do I have to do everything"...............if only he knew!!!! A lot of my day is organising so that things run smoothly for him, then my own work on top of that...its almost acase of staying 10 steps in front of him. I have to think ahead and try and see how he would see something. This usually goes unnoticed by him and can be extremely exhausting I arrrange and put things where he will find them easily. I have set up our office & computer in such a fashion that I have put copies of 1 thing in many places , just in case . I set up his phone, the computer , files ,camera and much more , in a Graham friendly way to make things easier for him. He is very illiterate in these areas! Well be it I do all this to make life easier for him , really it is to make life easier for me....meltdowns are frequent and can be fierce. This is a control on his part but not deliberate. it is the way he functions. Is this the right way for me ...probably not but for now it works . Until I can learn to effectively communicate with him on any level about anything other than work then there will be no immediate change. He shuts me down as soon as it sounds like I want to discuss something even if I try to advance warn him . he is very defensive and paranoid and every time I bring up issues he see's it all as a personal attack on him. However I try to approach it he is ready with the shut down. How long I can live like that is another issue but for now we have a successful business and to Graham has a full time built in special interest included!! To: aspires-relationships From: theswissarmywife@...Date: Sun, 27 Apr 2008 10:17:45 -0700Subject: Working with AS partner and Anita wrote:> > I live and work with my husband as well. It's a> challenge, that's for> sure.I also run a business w/ my AS husband—we each handleour own area of expertise without input from theother—like toddlers engaged in parallel play. I'm curious, is your business based around one of yourhusband's special interests? (Ours is.)__________________________________________________________Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. http://mobile.yahoo.com/;_ylt=Ahu06i62sR8HDtDypao8Wcj9tAcJ Click here Find singles in your area with Match. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 28, 2008 Report Share Posted April 28, 2008 MARY WROTE:I also run a business w/ my AS husband—we each handleour own area of expertise without input from theother—like toddlers engaged in parallel play. I'm curious, is your business based around one of yourhusband's special interests? (Ours is.) Hi , our business is selling caravans , which we started by chance about 6 years ago. It was not his special interest but it has become just that I was never really sure whether he had any special interest in the past. Well not the common ones that so many other AS have. I do now think that his special interest is his work and succeeding in his work. It is important to him that he is the best at what he does , he is extremely competitive . .He has always been successfull work wise ,he gives more than 100%. he is an extremely hard worker .....he is up as soon as he wakes..sometimes as early as 3,4 0r 5 in the morning. He lives , talks and breathes caravans and I tend to go along for the ride We have purchased a couple of Vintage caravans that he has had restored to an extremely high standard. When work is quieter (not often ) he consumes himself in the restoration. He does not do alot of the work himself but expends alot of energy on managing the people that he does get to do the work. He researches (or gets me to research) to the last tiny detail & spends excessive amounts of money on the work. To him it has to be the best restoration ever. Our last NZ 1959 caravan restoration cost over $20,000 (NZ) and this one which is a rare British 1956 caravan is already well into the high teens and is only 1/4 of the way through. he won't stop until is is finished. (or bankrupt!!!) I do enjoy aspects of our work selling caravans as it is a very positive industry to be in. We do definately have our own very defined roles. However ,alot of my work is directed by him. He writes lists for all the workers ,which no-one can read except me, (including himself)). My list is very long and includes many minor points that I have under control and do on a regular basis every day , but still he needs to write them for me I accept this. : ) I believe the company would not succeed on the level that it does if it were not for me (or someone like me). He has always had a partner who probably unbeknown to him has actually held things together and served a far more important role than he is aware of. He often says to me in his frustration.................."Do I have to do everything"...............if only he knew!!!! A lot of my day is organising so that things run smoothly for him, then my own work on top of that...its almost acase of staying 10 steps in front of him. I have to think ahead and try and see how he would see something. This usually goes unnoticed by him and can be extremely exhausting I arrrange and put things where he will find them easily. I have set up our office & computer in such a fashion that I have put copies of 1 thing in many places , just in case . I set up his phone, the computer , files ,camera and much more , in a Graham friendly way to make things easier for him. He is very illiterate in these areas! Well be it I do all this to make life easier for him , really it is to make life easier for me....meltdowns are frequent and can be fierce. This is a control on his part but not deliberate. it is the way he functions. Is this the right way for me ...probably not but for now it works . Until I can learn to effectively communicate with him on any level about anything other than work then there will be no immediate change. He shuts me down as soon as it sounds like I want to discuss something even if I try to advance warn him . he is very defensive and paranoid and every time I bring up issues he see's it all as a personal attack on him. However I try to approach it he is ready with the shut down. How long I can live like that is another issue but for now we have a successful business and to Graham has a full time built in special interest included!! To: aspires-relationships From: theswissarmywife@...Date: Sun, 27 Apr 2008 10:17:45 -0700Subject: Working with AS partner and Anita wrote:> > I live and work with my husband as well. It's a> challenge, that's for> sure.I also run a business w/ my AS husband—we each handleour own area of expertise without input from theother—like toddlers engaged in parallel play. I'm curious, is your business based around one of yourhusband's special interests? (Ours is.)__________________________________________________________Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. http://mobile.yahoo.com/;_ylt=Ahu06i62sR8HDtDypao8Wcj9tAcJ Click here Find singles in your area with Match. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 28, 2008 Report Share Posted April 28, 2008 It has only been the last 7 or 8 months that we've realized that the businesses are actually Asperger delineated.Meaning, I run what might be called the 'social' end of things. Client contact, endless meetings, sales calls, presentations, public speaking, shaking hands and kissing babies.My husband handles the repetitive, SOP (Standard Operating Procedure) things. The work itself is essentially the same all the time. Documents are the same, spreadsheets are the same, emails go out at the same time each day, containing basically the same information only slightly personalized to suit each client.We do require input from each other though...... which is the part that makes working with each other very difficult. I call in several times a day to keep him abreast of things outside the office so he does not get sandbagged by a negotiation I've made with a client during a meeting. He sort of gets ticked off that this information interrupts him from his checklist for the day. (The rituals are the most incredibly difficult aspect of this for me.)His favorite response to me is, "I'm not up to that yet." The reality usually is the client wants something done regardless of whether he's "up to that part yet." Everything goes well until the "plan" he developed for the day is interrupted. Once that happens he can easily slide into the meltdown zone which means I have to fend off the needs of a client while trying to get him focused on something else so he doesn't tell the client.......... "I'm not up to that yet."Yep, sometimes it's a barrel of laughs around here....LOLI will add that when he is left totally alone, he gets the job done very well. I wouldn't do the job in the same way, nor would I have a predefined number of required "steps" to do it, but the means he has developed to achieve the end works for him and the business. (Provided there are no interruptions, surprises, unexpected changes or anything contrary to his "plan" for the day).The only time his methodology becomes unrealistic is when a client or circumstance puts a fly in his ointment, which is at least once a day! I've given up trying to explain that business is an ever changing environment that requires an open mind and a fair degree of adaptation to what the client wants, not what he wants. For some reason, he doesn't believe this is true...!!! LOLRegards,Anita> > > > I live and work with my husband as well. It's a> > challenge, that's for> > sure.> > I also run a business w/ my AS husband—we each handle> our own area of expertise without input from the> other—like toddlers engaged in parallel play. > > I'm curious, is your business based around one of your> husband's special interests? (Ours is.)> > > > > > > > ____________________________________________________________________________________> Be a better friend, newshound, and > know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. http://mobile.yahoo.com/;_ylt=Ahu06i62sR8HDtDypao8Wcj9tAcJ> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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