Re: Tasteless jokes, and the compulsion to tell them

May 21, 2008

Perhaps you could go to the library and find some good joke books and/or recordings of acceptable comic acts and learn some new jokes that you don't need to worry about. If you are good at telling jokes, then it won't take you any time to erase your old unacceptable jokes from your brain and replace them with jokes you can draw upon and time, any where and with any audience. No stress.

Lorelie.....who could not tell a joke if her life depended on it

To: aspires-relationships From: graanan315@...Date: Wed, 21 May 2008 15:10:48 +0000Subject: Tasteless jokes, and the compulsion to tell them

To all:I am a 56-year-old man who was diagnosed at the age of 5 as having "infantile autistic psychosis," but who almost certainly has asperger's.I had the usual miserable childhood--being terrible in sports, being made fun of, not being invited to parties--and one the few outlets for my outrage and anger, first with my brother and then with a "best friend" I met in college, was telling (I think they were funny, but definitely in bad taste) racial, sexist and homophobic jokes. We weren't really hard-core racists, sexists, etc. (well, my brother and I weren't, although my college friend may have been), but we told each other that because they were just jokes, they were OK.Well, the world changed, and these jokes became more and more unacceptable. They were sort of OK in the 1970s days of the "National Lampoon" and the R. Crumb comics, but not anymore.The reason I'm writing is that I sometimes try to tell these jokes (put in the mouths of various imaginary characters I've created) to my wife, who objects strenuously to them (she's eight years older than me, and was actually involved in the civil rights movement of the '60s). She says they hurt her as much as if she herself were black, and sometimes goes into screaming fits. I admit these jokes are in poor taste, but I often have a tense day at work, and they're a way of blowing off steam. I often wish there were a little club where I could go and say these things, and then I'd feel better, I know it's a compulsion, but what can I do?Raanan G Keep your kids safer online with Windows Live Family Safety. Help protect your kids.

May 21, 2008

Hi Raanan,

I'm AS too by the way.

Realistically there is no way for anyone who hears your jokes to know that you have no evil intent. And either way the jokes are just not good. There are different kinds of humor and what you are describing is being mean to someone else to make yourself feel better. There is nice humor which is just plain funny. So by telling these kinds of jokes you are making yourself look like a real jackass even if you aren't. I'm with Lorelie, find some new jokes to blow off steam with.

Jennie AS

P.S. Just out of curiousity would you be ok with it if your wife told jokes about autistic, AS, mentally challenged, etc type people? Particularly if she told jokes that pointed a finger at your weaknesses?

Jennie AS -likes to think about how things might effect me if folks were doing to me what I was doing to them.

Tasteless jokes, and the compulsion to tell them

To all:I am a 56-year-old man who was diagnosed at the age of 5 as having "infantile autistic psychosis," but who almost certainly has asperger's.I had the usual miserable childhood--being terrible in sports, being made fun of, not being invited to parties--and one the few outlets for my outrage and anger, first with my brother and then with a "best friend" I met in college, was telling (I think they were funny, but definitely in bad taste) racial, sexist and homophobic jokes. We weren't really hard-core racists, sexists, etc. (well, my brother and I weren't, although my college friend may have been), but we told each other that because they were just jokes, they were OK.Well, the world changed, and these jokes became more and more unacceptable. They were sort of OK in the 1970s days of the "National Lampoon" and the R. Crumb comics, but not anymore.The reason I'm writing is that I sometimes try to tell these jokes (put in the mouths of various imaginary characters I've created) to my wife, who objects strenuously to them (she's eight years older than me, and was actually involved in the civil rights movement of the '60s). She says they hurt her as much as if she herself were black, and sometimes goes into screaming fits. I admit these jokes are in poor taste, but I often have a tense day at work, and they're a way of blowing off steam. I often wish there were a little club where I could go and say these things, and then I'd feel better, I know it's a compulsion, but what can I do?Raanan G

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May 21, 2008

--- raanan said:

To all:I am a 56-year-old man who was diagnosed at the age of 5 as having "infantile autistic psychosis," but who almost certainly has asperger's.I had the usual miserable childhood--being terrible in sports, being made fun of, not being invited to parties--and one the few outlets for my outrage and anger, first with my brother and then with a "best friend" I met in college, was telling (I think they were funny, but definitely in bad taste) racial, sexist and homophobic jokes. We weren't really hard-core racists, sexists, etc. (well, my brother and I weren't, although my college friend may have been), but we told each other that because they were just jokes, they were OK.Well, the world changed, and these jokes became more and more unacceptable. They were sort of OK in the 1970s days of the "National Lampoon" and the R. Crumb comics, but not anymore.The reason I'm writing

is that I sometimes try to tell these jokes (put in the mouths of various imaginary characters I've created) to my wife, who objects strenuously to them (she's eight years older than me, and was actually involved in the civil rights movement of the '60s). She says they hurt her as much as if she herself were black, and sometimes goes into screaming fits. I admit these jokes are in poor taste, but I often have a tense day at work, and they're a way of blowing off steam. I often wish there were a little club where I could go and say these things, and then I'd feel better, I know it's a compulsion, but what can I do?Raanan G

me here:

hi raanan, what you describe is, in my opinion a combination of 2 variates. lack of context and delayed echolalia. both AS traits, and as far as i am aware unwritten in any texts.

I am also AS and i can regurgitate lines in movies that i have seen as a teenager. the ability to hear phrases and repeat them over and over again is echolalia, delayed may be when you have heard them and locked them into your memory and repeat them when exposed to them again.

repeating a same phrase over and over again os callaed pallalia. another AS trait.

the problem with jokes heard as a college/ uni undergrad is that they have a boyish, university, laddish type context, always racist, sexists, anti homosexual, etc. it is what most early twenties men talk about.

as time goes on, we mature and tend to erase these jokes from our repetoire, but those with AS have this echolalia, delayed, and an inability to match a joke told and heard as a 20 year old to the current setting of a funeral, wake, wedding, addressing a group of black panthers...etc.

so it is, in my opinion and eperience, almost inbariable that we regurgitate these jokes again and again , realising halfway through it, that it isnt an appropriate joke , but unable to understand why we still say them.

it can appear as if we cant help it.

dont fight it...understand it.

Whats the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?

about 3 stone........sorry cant help it.

36 m diagnosed AS tells the same jokes over and over again regrdless of context or reaction.

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May 21, 2008

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Reprogramming a computer must be deliberate, it does not happen by its self or on accident.

Jennie AS -reprogrammed her brain after growing up in an extreme legalistic virtual brainwashing environment

May 21, 2008

I think I am somewhere in the middle on this, but I would agree that, a joke that can easily make someone feel badly is not really funny. I tell ethnic jokes that are tasteful, and the people who belong to the groups in question often laugh the hardest, because they get them. They are based on culture and background, and are not making anyone seem stupid. OK, I also tell jokes on myself. Who can say it isn't PC? Ask me if you want to hear a few funny AS jokes- yes, we can laugh at ourselves, too. Here is one of the best (not mine): A helicopter pilot in Seattle was driving around in a fog, and got disoriented. On top of that, the instruments were not functioning quite right, either. The pilot saw a large building, and carefully descended, while the copilot wrote a note to the occupants, in very large letters, asking where they

were, and waved it at the window. The occupants wrote back, "You are in a helicopter." The copilot wrote, "Thanks!"and waved, and the helicopter made its way back to the airport. You may wonder how the pilot and copilot figured out where they were. The answer to their question was useless, but technically correct. They therefore guessed that it had to be the Microsoft Tower, because only a bunch of computer people would respond in that manner. AS Jennie Unknown wrote: ï»¿ Reprogramming a computer must be deliberate, it does not happen by its self or on accident. Jennie AS -reprogrammed her brain after growing up in an extreme legalistic virtual brainwashing environment

May 21, 2008

I can't resist sharing these...and remember I am old, and old people love to tell these kind of jokes to their friends...so I hope to offend no one and make some of you laugh. jkz An elderly gentleman... Had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, 'Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.'The gentleman replied, 'Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!' Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: 'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?' Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.' 'Really!? Like a newborn baby!?' 'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.' An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly.' The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?' The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know... The one that's red and has thorns.' 'Do you mean a rose?' 'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?' Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he! Didn't need my help to leave the hospital. After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator. On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him. 'I don't know,' he said. 'She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.' Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember. Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks. 'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?' 'Sure.' 'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks. 'No, I can remember it.' 'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so's not to forget it?' He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.' 'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?' she asks. Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!' Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, The old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment. 'Where's my toast ?' A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy: 'So I hear you're getting married?' 'Yep!' 'Do I know her?' 'Nope!' 'This woman, is she good looking?' 'Not really.' 'Is she a good cook?' 'Naw, she can't cook too well.' 'Does she have lots of money?' 'Nope! Poor as a church mouse.' 'Well, then, is she good in bed?' 'I don't know.' 'Why in the world do you want to marry her then?' 'Because she can still drive!' Three old guys are out walking. First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?' Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!' Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer.' A man was telling his neighbor, 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect.' 'Really,' answered the neighbor . 'What kind is it?' 'Twelve thirty.' , an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?' replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.'' The doctor said, 'I didn't say that. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.' One more. ! A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.. After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?' 'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.' .

May 22, 2008

OHHHHHHHH Brother!

Hahaha

I have a sexist one from the female perspective back at ....but I might just refrain for now. In fact I have several. I have mostly worked with men and they are always telling the sexist ones on us...so I built up my own arsenal.

Sandy

Re: Tasteless jokes, and the compulsion to tell them

I can't resist sharing these...and remember I am old, and old people love to tell these kind of jokes to their friends...so I hope to offend no one and make some of you laugh. jkz

An elderly gentleman...

Had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%

The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, 'Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.'

The gentleman replied, 'Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!'

Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: 'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?' Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.' 'Really!? Like a newborn baby!?' 'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly.' The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?' The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know... The one that's red and has thorns.' 'Do you mean a rose?' 'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?'

Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he! Didn't need my help to leave the hospital. After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator. On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him. 'I don't know,' he said. 'She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.'

Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember.Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks. 'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?' 'Sure.' 'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks. 'No, I can remember it.' 'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so's not to forget it?' He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries. ' 'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?' she asks. Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with

strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!' Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, The old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment. 'Where's my toast ?'

A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy: 'So I hear you're getting married?' 'Yep!' 'Do I know her?' 'Nope!' 'This woman, is she good looking?' 'Not really.' 'Is she a good cook?' 'Naw, she can't cook too well.' 'Does she have lots of money?' 'Nope! Poor as a church mouse.' 'Well, then, is she good in bed?' 'I don't know.' 'Why in the world do you want to marry her then?' 'Because she can still drive!'

Three old guys are out walking. First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?' Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!' Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer.'

A man was telling his neighbor, 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect.' 'Really,' answered the neighbor . 'What kind is it?' 'Twelve thirty.'

, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?' replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.'' The doctor said, 'I didn't say that. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.'

One more. ! A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.. After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?' 'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.'

..

May 22, 2008

,Cute joke.I'm going to pass this onto my husband, who is not a Microsoft fan and would find the "useless and technically correct" part of the joke hilarious!Daneka ï»¿ Reprogramming a computer must be deliberate, it does not happen by its self or on accident. Jennie AS -reprogrammed her brain after growing up in an extreme legalistic virtual brainwashing environment

May 22, 2008

Janet, These are really funny! Can I have permission to share them off-list? Janet Zimmerman wrote: I can't resist sharing these...and remember I am old, and old people love to tell these kind of jokes to their friends...so I hope to offend no one and make some of you laugh. jkz An elderly gentleman... Had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100% The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, 'Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.' The gentleman replied, 'Oh, I haven't told my

family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!' Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: 'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?' Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.' 'Really!? Like a newborn baby!?' 'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.' An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly.' The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?' The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know... The one that's red and has thorns.' 'Do you mean a rose?' 'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?' Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he! Didn't need my help to leave the hospital. After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator. On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him. 'I don't know,' he said. 'She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.' Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember.Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks. 'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?' 'Sure.' 'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks. 'No, I can remember it.' 'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so's not to forget it?' He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.' 'I'd also like whipped

cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?' she asks. Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!' Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, The old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment. 'Where's my toast ?' A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy: 'So I hear you're getting married?' 'Yep!' 'Do I know her?' 'Nope!' 'This woman, is she

good looking?' 'Not really.' 'Is she a good cook?' 'Naw, she can't cook too well.' 'Does she have lots of money?' 'Nope! Poor as a church mouse.' 'Well, then, is she good in bed?' 'I don't know.' 'Why in the world do you want to marry her then?' 'Because she can still drive!' Three old guys are out walking. First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?' Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!' Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer.' A man was telling his neighbor, 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect.' 'Really,' answered the neighbor . 'What kind is it?' 'Twelve thirty.' , an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to and said, 'You're really

doing great, aren't you?' replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.'' The doctor said, 'I didn't say that. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.' One more. ! A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.. After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?' 'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.' .

May 22, 2008

Daneka, I believe I saw this joke reprinted in one of ASton's books- not too sure. Glad you like it. Daneka Wheeler wrote: ,Cute joke.I'm going to pass this onto my husband, who is not a Microsoft fan and would find

the "useless and technically correct" part of the joke hilarious!Daneka ï»¿ Reprogramming a computer must be deliberate, it does not happen by its self or on accident. Jennie AS -reprogrammed her brain after growing up in an extreme legalistic virtual brainwashing environment

May 22, 2008

Pardon if it seems sexist, my fav joke.

A man traveling by plane was in urgent need of a restroom facility. But each time he tried, it was occupied. The flight attendant, aware of his predicament, suggested he use the attendant's ladies room, but cautioned him not to press any of the buttons.There next to the paper roll were four buttons marked: WW WA PP ATR.Making the mistake soooo many men make of not listening to a woman, he disregarded what she said when his curiosity got the best of him.He carefully pressed the WW button and immediately a gentle flush of Warm Water sprayed on his bare bottom. He thought "Wow" these gals really have it nice!!So a little more boldly he pressed the WA button and body temperature Warm Air blew across his wet bottom and dried it comfortably."Aha" he thought, "no wonder these women take so long in the bathroom with these kinds of services!"So he pushed the next button PP with anticipation. A soft disposable Powder Puff swung below him and dusted his bottom lightly with talc."Man, this is great," he thought as he reached out for the ATR button. When he awoke in the hospital, the morphine was just wearing off...confused he buzzed the nurse to find out what happened.

The nurse came in to his room to tell him "you pushed the Automatic Tampon Remover button".

Matt

Re: Tasteless jokes, and the compulsion to tell them

Daneka,

I believe I saw this joke reprinted in one of ASton's books- not too sure. Glad you like it.

Daneka Wheeler <danekaw> wrote:

,Cute joke.I'm going to pass this onto my husband, who is not a Microsoft fan and would find the "useless and technically correct" part of the joke hilarious!Daneka

ï»¿ Reprogramming a computer must be deliberate, it does not happen by its self or on accident.

Jennie AS -reprogrammed her brain after growing up in an extreme legalistic virtual brainwashing environment

May 22, 2008

-

O.I just don't understand what it is about Aspergers that would render this compulsion to tell such jokes uncontrollable. I didn't understand 's explanation. I get the repetition, but I don't understand why someone cannot just learn not to verbalize it. me here: Daneeka,

let me give you an example.

i think i have told this before.

i was at work the other day, gathering around a room as someone was having a leaving party.

in the room i found myself between my line manager and another colleague who had a fiancee who was an unemployed dietician....i felt sorry for this mans fiancee, as she had studied for a long time and couldnt find a job.

everytime i saw him i thought of his fiancee....like your husband, i too had an interest, that is a shifting interest in diet, nutrition and performance in sport.

so he was standing there, my line manager was there....a militant feminisit , about 3 stone overweight. and me.

i had decided it was time to make some little snall t talk...i had meant to say......well its a nuce day..the usual chit chat, but instead i came out with the what is the difference between a wife and a gf joke, answer : about 3 stone.

i couldnt help it....i had a 3 stone overweight woman and a guy who's fiancee was a dietician..........i had linked these two observations together and told the appropriate joke for the observation ( but not the social setting that i was in)

and in a very linear AS fashion, once i started the joke, i had to finish it.

it didnt go down too well.

I am learning to keep my mouth shut.

it is easier to avoid these situations in the first place.

36 m diagnosed AS who would have so many more social outings that are fun if there really was an irishman , and englishman and a welshamn in a bar that i was in.

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May 22, 2008

An overweight guy was reading the paper one day lamenting the fact that his doctor has ordered him to lose 75 pounds. Next thing he sees is an advertisement for a "guaranteed" weight loss program. "yeah right", he thinks to himself. "But let's see what they can do."He calls them on the phone and subscribes to the 3-day, 10 lbs. weight loss program. The next day there comes a knock at his door, and when he answers, there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike's and a sign hanging around her neck. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me."Well, without a second thought he takes off after her. A few miles later, huffing and puffing, he finally catches her and has his way with her. After they are through he kisses the girl one last time and thinks to himself with a nod, "I like the way this company does business."For the next two days, the same girl shows up and the same thing happens each time. On the fourth day, he weighs himself and, sure enough, he has lost 10 pounds. Deciding that he likes his somewhat more slender physique, not to mention the method of "treatment", he calls the company back and subscribes to their 5-day, 20 lbs. weight loss program. He thinks that losing 20 pounds in only 5 days seems like a lot, but he is intrigued by what their "workout" schedule might be like this time.As expected, the next day there comes a knock at his door. When he answers it there stands a 22 year old knockout dressed in nothing but a pair of Reebok's and a sign hanging around her neck. She is simply stunning, the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me."He's out the door like a shot!This gal is in excellent shape and it takes a while to catch her. But when he does, it is worth every cramp and wheeze. She is wonderful, the best he has ever had. He is really looking forward to the next four days.For the next four days, the same girl shows up and the same thing happens each time, much to his delight. On the sixth day, he weighs himself and, unbelievably, he has lost another 20 pounds. "I love this company," he thinks to himself, "I never knew losing weight could be so easy and so much fun."Feeling much better about himself, he decides to go for broke and subscribe to the company's 7-day, 50 pound weight loss program. "Are you sure, sir?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program.""Absolutely," says he, "I love your program. Haven't felt this good in years!"The next day there comes a knock at his door and he enthusiastically answers it. There stands before him a 200 pound perfect specimen of a man dressed in nothing but racing spikes and a sign around his neck. He introduces himself as a representative of the weight loss company.The sign reads, "If I can catch you, I can have you."

Re: Tasteless jokes, and the compulsion to tell them

Janet,

These are really funny! Can I have permission to share them off-list?

Janet Zimmerman <jkzmailTSSMT (DOT) NET> wrote:

I can't resist sharing these...and remember I am old, and old people love to tell these kind of jokes to their friends...so I hope to offend no one and make some of you laugh. jkz

An elderly gentleman...

Had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%

The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, 'Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.'

The gentleman replied, 'Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!'

Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: 'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?' Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.' 'Really!? Like a newborn baby!?' 'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly.' The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?' The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know... The one that's red and has thorns.' 'Do you mean a rose?' 'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?'

Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he! Didn't need my help to leave the hospital. After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator. On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him. 'I don't know,' he said. 'She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.'

Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember.Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks. 'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?' 'Sure.' 'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks. 'No, I can remember it.' 'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so's not to forget it?' He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.' 'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?' she asks. Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!' Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, The old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment. 'Where's my toast ?'

A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy: 'So I hear you're getting married?' 'Yep!' 'Do I know her?' 'Nope!' 'This woman, is she good looking?' 'Not really.' 'Is she a good cook?' 'Naw, she can't cook too well.' 'Does she have lots of money?' 'Nope! Poor as a church mouse.' 'Well, then, is she good in bed?' 'I don't know.' 'Why in the world do you want to marry her then?' 'Because she can still drive!'

Three old guys are out walking. First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?' Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!' Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer.'

A man was telling his neighbor, 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect.' 'Really,' answered the neighbor . 'What kind is it?' 'Twelve thirty.'

, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?' replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.'' The doctor said, 'I didn't say that. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.'

One more. ! A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.. After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?' 'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.'

..

May 22, 2008

I have to agree with . Ian has a compulsive spark in his brain that blurts out what he is thinking - the world famous Aspie 'Inappropriate Remark'. Its almost like a 'tic' for Ian, just as it is for people with Tourettes, very hard for him to stop. He is always getting into difficulty - making remarks or jokes about someone's top being too tight and their lady lumps hanging out, the dress being hideous colour, the haircut from hell etc. For Ian, if the person is wearing a lady lump protuding top, she should expect to have a joke or comment made about it! He is always putting people's backs up, usually in a pub full of drunks (you may recall my telling Apsires of Ian's telling a sheep sh**ging joke to a bar full of drunken farmers? Remember I had to take him to casualty.....???) A cousin of mine hit Ian on the chops at a family wedding for insulting her after he asked her if her husband left her

because of her dress sense. There was logic on both sides, I guess! Ian also cant help making overweight jokes and I often have to stamp on his toe or whatever to prevent a remark coming out or change the subject, much to his dismay as he thinks he is being erudite and screamingly funny. Ian's view is if the NT's werent so uptight in the first place they would not get offended. I say that if he gets any more bashes on the head he will probably need a scalp transplant. :-))))))) Judy B, watching her words, Scotland (not a place to drop the odd faux paux - we're all overweight and drunk most of the time)david bailey wrote: - O.I just don't understand what it is about Aspergers that would render this compulsion to tell such jokes uncontrollable. I didn't understand 's explanation. I get the repetition, but I don't understand why someone cannot just learn not to verbalize it. me here: Daneeka, let me give you an example. i

think i have told this before. i was at work the other day, gathering around a room as someone was having a leaving party. in the room i found myself between my line manager and another colleague who had a fiancee who was an unemployed dietician....i felt sorry for this mans fiancee, as she had studied for a long time and couldnt find a job. everytime i saw him i thought of his fiancee....like your husband, i too had an interest, that is a shifting interest in diet, nutrition and performance in sport. so he was standing there, my line manager was there....a militant feminisit , about 3 stone overweight. and me. i had decided it was time to make some little snall t talk...i had meant to say......well its a nuce day..the usual chit chat, but instead i came out with the what is the difference between a wife and a gf joke, answer : about 3 stone. i couldnt help it....i had a 3 stone

overweight woman and a guy who's fiancee was a dietician..........i had linked these two observations together and told the appropriate joke for the observation ( but not the social setting that i was in) and in a very linear AS fashion, once i started the joke, i had to finish it. it didnt go down too well. I am learning to keep my mouth shut. it is easier to avoid these situations in the first place. 36 m diagnosed AS who would have so many more social outings that are fun if there really was an irishman , and englishman and a welshamn in a bar that i was in. Sent from Yahoo! Mail. A Smarter Email.

May 22, 2008

Matt, Don't push the WHQZY button! It's a doozy! Matt wrote: Pardon if it seems sexist, my fav joke. A man traveling by plane was in urgent need of a restroom facility. But each time he tried, it was occupied. The flight attendant, aware of his predicament, suggested he use the

attendant's ladies room, but cautioned him not to press any of the buttons.There next to the paper roll were four buttons marked: WW WA PP ATR.Making the mistake soooo many men make of not listening to a woman, he disregarded what she said when his curiosity got the best of him.He carefully pressed the WW button and immediately a gentle flush of Warm Water sprayed on his bare bottom. He thought "Wow" these gals really have it nice!!So a little more boldly he pressed the WA button and body temperature Warm Air blew across his wet bottom and dried it comfortably."Aha" he thought, "no wonder these women take so long in the bathroom with these kinds of services!"So he pushed the next button PP with anticipation. A soft disposable Powder Puff swung below him and dusted his bottom lightly with talc."Man, this is great," he thought as he reached out for the ATR button. When he awoke in the hospital, the morphine was

just wearing off...confused he buzzed the nurse to find out what happened. The nurse came in to his room to tell him "you pushed the Automatic Tampon Remover button". Matt Re:

Tasteless jokes, and the compulsion to tell them Daneka, I believe I saw this joke reprinted in one of ASton's books- not too sure. Glad you like it. Daneka Wheeler <danekaw> wrote: ,Cute joke.I'm going to pass this onto my husband, who is not a Microsoft fan and would find the "useless and technically correct" part of the joke hilarious!Daneka ï»¿ Reprogramming a computer must be deliberate, it does not happen by its self or on accident. Jennie AS -reprogrammed her brain after growing up in an extreme legalistic virtual brainwashing environment

May 22, 2008

what kind of button is WHQZY? Sometimes the wait for the punchline is worth it.

Matt

Re: Tasteless jokes, and the compulsion to tell them

Daneka,

I believe I saw this joke reprinted in one of ASton's books- not too sure. Glad you like it.

Daneka Wheeler <danekaw> wrote:

,Cute joke.I'm going to pass this onto my husband, who is not a Microsoft fan and would find the "useless and technically correct" part of the joke hilarious!Daneka

ï»¿ Reprogramming a computer must be deliberate, it does not happen by its self or on accident.

Jennie AS -reprogrammed her brain after growing up in an extreme legalistic virtual brainwashing environment

May 22, 2008

Yes , of course you can. And as for the other joke here, in the interest of being helpful and sharing my honest opinion, this joke is not funny to me for the following reasons: There is nothing in it that would ever happen in real life. The set up is too long... I think many would be bored by the time one gets to the punch line. And ithe punch line is somewhat predictable... I predicted something very much like the end before I got to it. AND finally, even though l like a wellcrafted and clever joke about sex, this joke objectifies sex in a way that is stereotypical to the point of being offensive. again, I am not meaning to criticize the person who posted this, just point out why it is not funny to me. No offense is taken. jkzAn overweight guy was reading the paper one day lamenting the fact that his doctor has ordered him to lose 75 pounds. Next thing he sees is an advertisement for a "guaranteed" weight loss program. "yeah right", he thinks to himself. "But let's see what they can do."He calls them on the phone and subscribes to the 3-day, 10 lbs. weight loss program. The next day there comes a knock at his door, and when he answers, there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike's and a sign hanging around her neck. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me."Well, without a second thought he takes off after her. A few miles later, huffing and puffing, he finally catches her and has his way with her. After they are through he kisses the girl one last time and thinks to himself with a nod, "I like the way this company does business."For the next two days, the same girl shows up and the same thing happens each time. On the fourth day, he weighs himself and, sure enough, he has lost 10 pounds. Deciding that he likes his somewhat more slender physique, not to mention the method of "treatment", he calls the company back and subscribes to their 5-day, 20 lbs. weight loss program. He thinks that losing 20 pounds in only 5 days seems like a lot, but he is intrigued by what their "workout" schedule might be like this time.As expected, the next day there comes a knock at his door. When he answers it there stands a 22 year old knockout dressed in nothing but a pair of Reebok's and a sign hanging around her neck. She is simply stunning, the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me."He's out the door like a shot!This gal is in excellent shape and it takes a while to catch her. But when he does, it is worth every cramp and wheeze. She is wonderful, the best he has ever had. He is really looking forward to the next four days.For the next four days, the same girl shows up and the same thing happens each time, much to his delight. On the sixth day, he weighs himself and, unbelievably, he has lost another 20 pounds. "I love this company," he thinks to himself, "I never knew losing weight could be so easy and so much fun."Feeling much better about himself, he decides to go for broke and subscribe to the company's 7-day, 50 pound weight loss program. "Are you sure, sir?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program.""Absolutely," says he, "I love your program. Haven't felt this good in years!"The next day there comes a knock at his door and he enthusiastically answers it. There stands before him a 200 pound perfect specimen of a man dressed in nothing but racing spikes and a sign around his neck. He introduces himself as a representative of the weight loss company.The sign reads, "If I can catch you, I can have you." Re: Tasteless jokes, and the compulsion to tell themJanet, These are really funny! Can I have permission to share them off-list? Janet Zimmerman <jkzmailTSSMT (DOT) NET> wrote:I can't resist sharing these...and remember I am old, and old people love to tell these kind of jokes to their friends...so I hope to offend no one and make some of you laugh. jkz An elderly gentleman... Had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, 'Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.'The gentleman replied, 'Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!' Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: 'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?' Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.' 'Really!? Like a newborn baby!?' 'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.' An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly.' The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?' The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know... The one that's red and has thorns.' 'Do you mean a rose?' 'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?' Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he! Didn't need my help to leave the hospital. After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator. On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him. 'I don't know,' he said. 'She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.' Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember.Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks. 'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?' 'Sure.' 'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks. 'No, I can remember it.' 'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so's not to forget it?' He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.' 'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?' she asks. Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!' Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, The old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment. 'Where's my toast ?' A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy: 'So I hear you're getting married?' 'Yep!' 'Do I know her?' 'Nope!' 'This woman, is she good looking?' 'Not really.' 'Is she a good cook?' 'Naw, she can't cook too well.' 'Does she have lots of money?' 'Nope! Poor as a church mouse.' 'Well, then, is she good in bed?' 'I don't know.' 'Why in the world do you want to marry her then?' 'Because she can still drive!' Three old guys are out walking. First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?' Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!' Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer.' A man was telling his neighbor, 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect.' 'Really,' answered the neighbor . 'What kind is it?' 'Twelve thirty.' , an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?' replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.'' The doctor said, 'I didn't say that. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.' One more. ! A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.. After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?' 'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.' .

May 22, 2008

,Using the example that you gave and that Judy gave about Ian, here is what I don't understand.You're both bright. You both are aware that commenting on a woman's excess weight is offensive -- either because you've been told or because you've been bashed for it. (sorry Ian) Neither of you would deliberately hurt someone's feelings. So, though I can see it happening once or twice in error, I don't understand why the usual check or filter doesn't prevent you from repeating it.In 's example, I too might notice the same things and recall the joke that I had heard, even have a private chuckle, but I wouldn't speak out because the offense would be predictable. Would you not be

able to predict how your joke would be taken or is it the case that you know you're going to offend but cannot help saying it anyway? Or, that it happens too quickly to make the calculation?thanks,DanekaSubject: Re: Tasteless jokes, and the compulsion to tell themTo: aspires-relationships Date: Thursday, May 22, 2008, 5:01 AM

-

O.I just don't understand what it is about Aspergers that would render this compulsion to tell such jokes uncontrollable. I didn't understand 's explanation. I get the repetition, but I don't understand why someone cannot just learn not to verbalize it. me here: Daneeka,

let me give you an example.

i think i have told this before.

i was at work the other day, gathering around a room as someone was having a leaving party.

in the room i found myself between my line manager and another colleague who had a fiancee who was an unemployed dietician... .i felt sorry for this mans fiancee, as she had studied for a long time and couldnt find a job.

everytime i saw him i thought of his fiancee....like your husband, i too had an interest, that is a shifting interest in diet, nutrition and performance in sport.

so he was standing there, my line manager was there....a militant feminisit , about 3 stone overweight. and me.

i had decided it was time to make some little snall t talk...i had meant to say......well its a nuce day..the usual chit chat, but instead i came out with the what is the difference between a wife and a gf joke, answer : about 3 stone.

i couldnt help it....i had a 3 stone overweight woman and a guy who's fiancee was a dietician... .......i had linked these two observations together and told the appropriate joke for the observation ( but not the social setting that i was in)

and in a very linear AS fashion, once i started the joke, i had to finish it.

it didnt go down too well.

I am learning to keep my mouth shut.

it is easier to avoid these situations in the first place.

36 m diagnosed AS who would have so many more social outings that are fun if there really was an irishman , and englishman and a welshamn in a bar that i was in.

Sent from Yahoo! Mail.

A Smarter Email.

May 22, 2008

daneeka the need for me to make connections between seemingly unrelated events can help me when im trying to figure somethign out , but hinders me when i have made many connections and have a story that fits all these connections in a social setting, i blurt it out, the need to make the connections and validate it with a story that i could be telling myself but verbalising outloud is where i come undone.

i will often say to my gf, " did i just say that or think that"

yesterday i was doing a post mortem on a donkey, as always a group of interested dogs appeared and gathered expectantly. i examined the donkeys heart and incised it to further examine it, finding nothing of interest i cast the heart toward the dogs and said " eat your heart out" i turned back to the donkey to find its owner on the ground paralysed with laughter.

i didnt even realise i had said it out loud, it just come out. it was as funny to him as it was a factual statement to me.

if it was the wrong owner it could have been offensive.

the difficulty can be argued is in the interpretation, where there is no difficulty is that i accept that i do it,i can and do try to modulate it, but it is me....funny and offensive.

it is how i am.

36 m diagnosed AS

From: david bailey <daysbaysyahoo (DOT) co.uk>Subject: Re: [aspires-relationsh ips] Tasteless jokes, and the compulsion to tell themTo: aspires-relationshi psyahoogroups (DOT) comDate: Thursday, May 22, 2008, 5:01 AM

-

O.I just don't understand what it is about Aspergers that would render this compulsion to tell such jokes uncontrollable. I didn't understand 's explanation. I get the repetition, but I don't understand why someone cannot just learn not to verbalize it. me here: Daneeka,

let me give you an example.

i think i have told this before.

i was at work the other day, gathering around a room as someone was having a leaving party.

in the room i found myself between my line manager and another colleague who had a fiancee who was an unemployed dietician... .i felt sorry for this mans fiancee, as she had studied for a long time and couldnt find a job.

everytime i saw him i thought of his fiancee....like your husband, i too had an interest, that is a shifting interest in diet, nutrition and performance in sport.

so he was standing there, my line manager was there....a militant feminisit , about 3 stone overweight. and me.

i had decided it was time to make some little snall t talk...i had meant to say......well its a nuce day..the usual chit chat, but instead i came out with the what is the difference between a wife and a gf joke, answer : about 3 stone.

i couldnt help it....i had a 3 stone overweight woman and a guy who's fiancee was a dietician... .......i had linked these two observations together and told the appropriate joke for the observation ( but not the social setting that i was in)

and in a very linear AS fashion, once i started the joke, i had to finish it.

it didnt go down too well.

I am learning to keep my mouth shut.

it is easier to avoid these situations in the first place.

36 m diagnosed AS who would have so many more social outings that are fun if there really was an irishman , and englishman and a welshamn in a bar that i was in.

Sent from Yahoo! Mail. A Smarter Email.

Sent from Yahoo! Mail.

A Smarter Email.

May 22, 2008

At 12:34 PM 5/22/2008, you wrote:

>daneeka the need for me to make connections between seemingly

>unrelated events can help me when im trying to figure somethign out

>, but hinders me when i have made many connections and have a story

>that fits all these connections in a social setting, i blurt it out,

>the need to make the connections and validate it with a story that i

>could be telling myself but verbalising outloud is where i come undone.

Hey , I really sympathize with you there. Though I've definitely

improved over 50 years, this is a pitfall that I still have to watch

out for today.

>i will often say to my gf, " did i just say that or think that "

Or me: " I can't believe I just said that! " One of my mantras when

heading out the door is " bring duct tape, bring duct tape, bring duct

tape... " - to place over my mouth to prevent me from fatally

embarrassing myself. Because, when I am anxious, as I always tend to

be in novel social situations, and trying to make that " connection "

as you speak of, above, I can blurt out inappropriate things too.

Appropriate elsewhere maybe, to those who know the context, but maybe

not where I am at the moment.

>yesterday i was doing a post mortem on a donkey, as always a group

>of interested dogs appeared and gathered expectantly. i examined the

>donkeys heart and incised it to further examine it, finding nothing

>of interest i cast the heart toward the dogs and said " eat your

>heart out " i turned back to the donkey to find its owner on the

>ground paralysed with laughter.

>

>i didnt even realise i had said it out loud, it just come out. it

>was as funny to him as it was a factual statement to me.

>

>if it was the wrong owner it could have been offensive.

See, you are learning. I suspect when you were younger, you wouldn't

have recognized that there might be another way for someone to react,

eg. if the owner was really grieving about his deceased donkey. And

if the person did react with offense back then, you, like me, might

have become angry (perhaps not visibly, but angry all the same)

because someone took offense when you met NO offense at all.

>the difficulty can be argued is in the interpretation, where there

>is no difficulty is that i accept that i do it,i can and do try to

>modulate it, but it is me....funny and offensive.

I certainly have an offbeat sense of humour too. And as you can see,

despite the fact that I was a late talker, late to acquire

proficiency in literacy and I lack of university education, I do have

some facility with language.

Like many on the spectrum, I like the sounds of words, I like to play

with the language and use it to convey a multi-layered picture,

replete with all its absurdities.

I will admit that sometimes a combination of hubris and wrecklessness

(not to mention extreme mind-blindness) gets in the way of self

modulation. At times, feeling particularly clever about my " scathing "

" insight, " I decide to go ahead and " share. " And that, inevitably,

leads to my downfall ......

I have been forced to modulate my " wit " since I had my son at age 35

(he's now 17) I am often in the company of youth, and of course some

of their parents are also very religious or otherwise seem to lack a

my more expansive definition of ha-ha.

But when I was younger, OMG, I absolutely CRINGE to think of the

stuff I used came out with sometimes. Some people must have wondered

what kind of a sick person I was, LOL. Of course friends knew me to

be the opposite, but when you've humiliated yourself in public as I

have .... <sheepish, red faced grins!>

Even when I'm writing - and writing works sooooo much better for me

for all the reasons that many on the spectrum have already shared

here - sometimes I have to take my " wittiest " line - and delete it -

no matter how badly I want to leave it in. If I don't delete it,

someone is bound to be offended, or worse, sometimes hurt. And then I

have to eat my deserved crow.

>it is how i am.

me too. But we can change, once we realize that a) this does hurt

others sometimes and we can forgive ourselves, because we " knew

not what we did " and c) we learn how to do it better the next time.

For me, learning about AS and how it impacts upon me was just half

the battle. That helped me to acknowledge that there might actually

be another way of looking at things. The bigger challenge is to then

try to learn about how others perceive things. Sometimes that is just

too exhausting to take on board all at once, so I must then revert

back to acknowledging there might be a different view than mine, and

just be more cautious before I speak. My mom was fond of saying, " if

in doubt, don't " <grin!>

- Helen

May 22, 2008

Subject: Re: Tasteless jokes, and the compulsion to tell themTo: aspires-relationships Date: Thursday, 22 May, 2008, 8:27 PM

helen said:

Because, when I am anxious, as I always tend to be in novel social situations, and trying to make that "connection" as you speak of, above, I can blurt out inappropriate things too. Appropriate elsewhere maybe, to those who know the context, but maybe not where I am at the moment.

me here: this is a very interesting choice of words helen.

i am going to attempt to expand on this.

it wont be easy to follow.

i have for want of a better word..."dumbed" it down a little and the following is part of a conversation i have had with another AS of list who is..."advanced" in his self awareness.

non As or auidotiry-visual thinkers tend to be taught and are content with building up little chains of information.

letters build words, words build sentences , into paragrahs, books and stories. we are all taught this.

non AS tend to be happy with keeping these small chains of information in little discerete packets side by side, building them up as pieces of accumulated wisdom and knowledge. All these chains of information can be held in a box and this box is called memory and experience.

now...these bits of information are seperate to each other, laying side by side, un connected and not related.

My own style of thinking seeks to have one long, continuous unbroken chain...eevrthing is linked to everything else in a top to bottom manner a long unbroken chain.

i hear a story about a fat woman and a dietician and an irishman in a bar i will link this to the time i am in a bar with a fat woman, an irishman and a dietician...it doesnt happen often but when it does, i can scroll along this chain and pick up the relevant piece of information an dlink them together.

if i have one chain of memory and it is linear, how do i do this?

side links.

the chain in my head is one chain but i can fold it over and around and make links to the dietician i met in 2007 the irishman i met in 2000 and the fat girl i met in 1988. once thoose links ar made i have " resonance" i have made a connections...almost instantly.

then the conversation turns to hunting dogs, world war 2 and vietnam and i make another connection between these three criteria.

able to link seemingly unrelated events in my memory to make sense of them, rapidly and with no willingness to regard the rules of social ettiquette ( im thinkign hard here, concentrating to do this DO NOT INTERRUPT)

once i have done this i suddenly see " you" in front of me, i realise the need to respond to....what is being conversed about and i will....stilll half in the " zone" blurt out my connections.

offensive when you hear me say it.

fascinating when you understand the theory behind it.

it can be described as a 3 dimensional construct of all experiences in my life, knowledge books and movies made to link together instantaneously.

Temple Grandin calls it picture thinking...it is more.

more complex than this. she uses pictures beause non AS can " see that description"

it is more than pictures and it takes a different mind to see, to understand.

it is difficult to explain. you see awkward stilted answers, i see all the answers all connected.

the other option is to engage in polite small talk about the colour of your lovely dress......what wavelength is that colour?

what is that similar too. what animal that size is that colour, are they endangered, what country do they live in, are they a protected species, have i eaten one?

may sound like..." you look like a hippo in that dress, i have never eaten hippo but i hear they are dangerous animals in africa"

36 m diagnosed AS

>

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May 22, 2008

YADA, YADA, YADA... I am now remembering some times when my AS husband made some really bad jokes at my expense and now , thanks to this thread, I am understanding some of the mechanisms behind his remarks. Once we had company for dinner and he announced with great glee as we were being seated at the table, that everything I cooked was either cold or burnt. He laughed and was so tickled with himself... all the rest of us were horrified. this was one of those 'fork up the nose' moments, for sure. He was so amused even though no one else was.. now I get it.. just don't ask me to explain. jkz--- On Thu, 22/5/08, Helen Foisy <hfoisySASKTEL (DOT) NET> wrote:From: Helen Foisy <hfoisySASKTEL (DOT) NET>Subject: Re: Tasteless jokes, and the compulsion to tell themTo: aspires-relationships Date: Thursday, 22 May, 2008, 8:27 PMhelen said: Because, when I am anxious, as I always tend to be in novel social situations, and trying to make that "connection" as you speak of, above, I can blurt out inappropriate things too. Appropriate elsewhere maybe, to those who know the context, but maybe not where I am at the moment. me here: this is a very interesting choice of words helen.i am going to attempt to expand on this.it wont be easy to follow.i have for want of a better word..."dumbed" it down a little and the following is part of a conversation i have had with another AS of list who is..."advanced" in his self awareness. non As or auidotiry-visual thinkers tend to be taught and are content with building up little chains of information.letters build words, words build sentences , into paragrahs, books and stories. we are all taught this.non AS tend to be happy with keeping these small chains of information in little discerete packets side by side, building them up as pieces of accumulated wisdom and knowledge. All these chains of information can be held in a box and this box is called memory and experience.now...these bits of information are seperate to each other, laying side by side, un connected and not related. My own style of thinking seeks to have one long, continuous unbroken chain...eevrthing is linked to everything else in a top to bottom manner a long unbroken chain.i hear a story about a fat woman and a dietician and an irishman in a bar i will link this to the time i am in a bar with a fat woman, an irishman and a dietician...it doesnt happen often but when it does, i can scroll along this chain and pick up the relevant piece of information an dlink them together.if i have one chain of memory and it is linear, how do i do this? side links.the chain in my head is one chain but i can fold it over and around and make links to the dietician i met in 2007 the irishman i met in 2000 and the fat girl i met in 1988. once thoose links ar made i have " resonance" i have made a connections...almost instantly.then the conversation turns to hunting dogs, world war 2 and vietnam and i make another connection between these three criteria.able to link seemingly unrelated events in my memory to make sense of them, rapidly and with no willingness to regard the rules of social ettiquette ( im thinkign hard here, concentrating to do this DO NOT INTERRUPT)once i have done this i suddenly see " you" in front of me, i realise the need to respond to....what is being conversed about and i will....stilll half in the " zone" blurt out my connections.offensive when you hear me say it.fascinating when you understand the theory behind it.it can be described as a 3 dimensional construct of all experiences in my life, knowledge books and movies made to link together instantaneously.Temple Grandin calls it picture thinking...it is more.more complex than this. she uses pictures beause non AS can " see that description"it is more than pictures and it takes a different mind to see, to understand.it is difficult to explain. you see awkward stilted answers, i see all the answers all connected. the other option is to engage in polite small talk about the colour of your lovely dress......what wavelength is that colour?what is that similar too. what animal that size is that colour, are they endangered, what country do they live in, are they a protected species, have i eaten one? may sound like..." you look like a hippo in that dress, i have never eaten hippo but i hear they are dangerous animals in africa" 36 m diagnosed AS >RECENT ACTIVITY 2New MembersVisit Your GroupYahoo! HealthAsthma TriggersHow you canidentify them.Meditation andLovingkindnessA Yahoo! Groupto share and learn.Healthy LivingLearn to live lifeto the fulleston Yahoo! Groups.. Sent from Yahoo! Mail. A Smarter Email.

May 23, 2008

Janet, Thanks! You made me laugh! My ex did things like that to me, too. I can relate to the "fork up the nose" idea! I have to admit, though, that plenty of people whom I presumed NT have made remarks that made me want to respond with a similar reply. I used to tell "dead baby jokes" when I was a freshman in college. They did make the other freshmen laugh pretty hard! A friend wisely encouraged me to quit, and sometime during my second year in college, I did. Now, as mother, I cannot tell them anymore, and can see why my friend told me to quit. Phew! Janet Zimmerman wrote: YADA, YADA, YADA... I am now remembering some times when my AS husband made some really bad jokes at my expense and now , thanks to this thread, I am understanding some of the mechanisms behind his remarks. Once we had company for dinner and he announced with great glee as we were being seated at the table, that everything I cooked was either cold or burnt. He laughed and was so tickled with himself... all the rest of us were horrified. this was one of those 'fork up the nose' moments, for sure. He was so amused even though no one else was.. now I get it.. just don't ask me to explain. jkz On May 22, 2008, at 2:45 PM, david bailey

wrote: From: Helen Foisy <hfoisySASKTEL (DOT) NET>Subject: Re: Tasteless jokes, and

the compulsion to tell themTo: aspires-relationships Date: Thursday, 22 May, 2008, 8:27 PM helen said: Because, when I am anxious, as I always tend to be in novel social situations, and trying to make that "connection" as you speak of, above, I can blurt out inappropriate things too. Appropriate elsewhere maybe, to those who know the context, but maybe not where I am at the moment. me here: this is a very interesting choice of words helen. i am going to attempt to expand on this. it wont be easy to follow. i have for want of a better

word..."dumbed" it down a little and the following is part of a conversation i have had with another AS of list who is..."advanced" in his self awareness. non As or auidotiry-visual thinkers tend to be taught and are content with building up little chains of information. letters build words, words build sentences , into paragrahs, books and stories. we are all taught this. non AS tend to be happy with keeping these small chains of information in little discerete packets side by side, building them up as pieces of accumulated wisdom and knowledge. All these chains of information can be held in a box and this box is called memory and experience. now...these bits of information are seperate to each other, laying side by side, un connected and not related. My own style of thinking seeks to have one

long, continuous unbroken chain...eevrthing is linked to everything else in a top to bottom manner a long unbroken chain. i hear a story about a fat woman and a dietician and an irishman in a bar i will link this to the time i am in a bar with a fat woman, an irishman and a dietician...it doesnt happen often but when it does, i can scroll along this chain and pick up the relevant piece of information an dlink them together. if i have one chain of memory and it is linear, how do i do this? side links. the chain in my head is one chain but i can fold it over and around and make links to the dietician i met in 2007 the irishman i met in 2000 and the fat girl i met in 1988. once thoose links ar made i have " resonance" i have made a connections...almost instantly. then the conversation turns to hunting dogs, world war 2 and vietnam and i make another

connection between these three criteria. able to link seemingly unrelated events in my memory to make sense of them, rapidly and with no willingness to regard the rules of social ettiquette ( im thinkign hard here, concentrating to do this DO NOT INTERRUPT) once i have done this i suddenly see " you" in front of me, i realise the need to respond to....what is being conversed about and i will....stilll half in the " zone" blurt out my connections. offensive when you hear me say it. fascinating when you understand the theory behind it. it can be described as a 3 dimensional construct of all experiences in my life, knowledge books and movies made to link together instantaneously. Temple Grandin calls it picture thinking...it is more. more complex than this. she uses pictures beause non AS can " see that description" it is more than pictures and it takes a different mind to

see, to understand. it is difficult to explain. you see awkward stilted answers, i see all the answers all connected. the other option is to engage in polite small talk about the colour of your lovely dress......what wavelength is that colour? what is that similar too. what animal that size is that colour, are they endangered, what country do they live in, are they a protected species, have i eaten one? may sound like..." you look like a hippo in that dress, i have never eaten hippo but i hear they are dangerous animals in africa" 36 m diagnosed AS > RECENT ACTIVITY 2 New MembersVisit Your Group Yahoo! Health Asthma Triggers How you can identify them. Meditation and Lovingkindness A Yahoo! Group to share and learn. Healthy Living Learn to live life to the fullest on Yahoo! Groups. . Sent from Yahoo! Mail. A Smarter Email.

May 23, 2008

, This is funny! I agree with you that it could hav been offensive, but ....FOMCLOL! david bailey wrote: daneeka the need for me to make connections between seemingly unrelated events can help me when im trying to figure somethign out , but hinders me when i have made many connections and have a story that fits all these connections in a social setting,

i blurt it out, the need to make the connections and validate it with a story that i could be telling myself but verbalising outloud is where i come undone. i will often say to my gf, " did i just say that or think that" yesterday i was doing a post mortem on a donkey, as always a group of interested dogs appeared and gathered expectantly. i examined the donkeys heart and incised it to further examine it, finding nothing of interest i cast the heart toward the dogs and said " eat your heart out" i turned back to the donkey to find its owner on the ground paralysed with laughter. i didnt even realise i had said it out loud, it just come out. it was as funny to him as it was a factual statement to me. if it was the wrong owner it could have been offensive. the difficulty can be argued is in the interpretation, where there is no difficulty is that i accept that i do it,i can and do try to modulate it, but it

is me....funny and offensive. it is how i am. 36 m diagnosed AS From: david bailey <daysbaysyahoo (DOT)

co.uk>Subject: Re: [aspires-relationsh ips] Tasteless jokes, and the compulsion to tell themTo: aspires-relationshi psyahoogroups (DOT) comDate: Thursday, May 22, 2008, 5:01 AM - O.I just don't understand what it is about Aspergers that would render this compulsion to tell such jokes uncontrollable. I didn't understand 's explanation. I get the repetition, but I don't understand why someone

cannot just learn not to verbalize it. me here: Daneeka, let me give you an example. i think i have told this before. i was at work the other day, gathering around a room as someone was having a leaving party. in the room i found myself between my line manager and another colleague who had a fiancee who was an unemployed dietician... .i felt sorry for this mans fiancee, as she had studied for a long time and couldnt find a job. everytime i saw him i thought of his fiancee....like your husband, i too had an interest, that is a shifting interest in diet, nutrition and performance in sport. so he was standing there, my line manager was there....a militant feminisit , about 3 stone overweight. and me. i had decided it was time to make some little snall t talk...i had meant to say......well its a nuce day..the usual chit chat, but instead i came out with the what is the difference

between a wife and a gf joke, answer : about 3 stone. i couldnt help it....i had a 3 stone overweight woman and a guy who's fiancee was a dietician... .......i had linked these two observations together and told the appropriate joke for the observation ( but not the social setting that i was in) and in a very linear AS fashion, once i started the joke, i had to finish it. it didnt go down too well. I am learning to keep my mouth shut. it is easier to avoid these situations in the first place. 36 m diagnosed AS who would have so many more social outings that are fun if there really was an irishman , and englishman and a welshamn in a bar that i was in. Sent from Yahoo! Mail. A Smarter Email. Sent from Yahoo! Mail. A Smarter Email.

May 23, 2008

Thanks for such a thoughtful answer to the question. I've been thinking about it a lot since reading it. I'm swamped at the moment with a remodeling chore, but I just wanted to hop on and say thanks. Also, I inserted a question or two below.--non As or auidotiry-visual thinkers tend to be taught and are content with building up little chains of information.

letters build words, words build sentences , into paragrahs, books and stories. we are all taught this.

non AS tend to be happy with keeping these small chains of information in little discerete packets side by side, building them up as pieces of accumulated wisdom and knowledge. All these chains of information can be held in a box and this box is called memory and experience.

now...these bits of information are seperate to each other, laying side by side, un connected and not related.

Daneka here: not in my own case, unless I don't understand fully what you're saying. Everything is connected and related, but not sequencially.

My own style of thinking seeks to have one long, continuous unbroken chain...eevrthing is linked to everything else in a top to bottom manner a long unbroken chain.

i hear a story about a fat woman and a dietician and an irishman in a bar i will link this to the time i am in a bar with a fat woman, an irishman and a dietician... it doesnt happen often but when it does, i can scroll along this chain and pick up the relevant piece of information an dlink them together.

if i have one chain of memory and it is linear, how do i do this?

side links.

the chain in my head is one chain but i can fold it over and around and make links to the dietician i met in 2007 the irishman i met in 2000 and the fat girl i met in 1988. once thoose links ar made i have " resonance" i have made a connections. ..almost instantly.Daneka: reminds of the "tesseract" in a Wrinkle in Timethen the conversation turns to hunting dogs, world war 2 and vietnam and i make another connection between these three criteria.Daneka: Many have said that they tell inappropriate jokes repeatedly. Wouldn't a punch in the nose a few years back (sorry again Ian) become one of the links in the chain, a memory, a data point, to be brought forth the next time you're about to tell the same joke? Wouldn't the context come with it?able to link seemingly unrelated events in my memory to make sense of them, rapidly and with no willingness to regard the rules of social ettiquette

( im thinkign hard here, concentrating to do this DO NOT INTERRUPT)Daneka: This I understand very well. If my husband is asked a question, he works very hard to give an honest answer and forgets where he is. So, when the husband of his new research assistant asked how his wife was working out, he gave a thoughtful and full report - sadly, negative and he had never said this information earlier to her. In addition to social etiquette, he will overstep boundaries on privacy, and will say things that he shouldn't about people who spoke to him in confidence. He feels terrible afterwards. Are you saying that the mental exertion to come up with the answer - evaluating the entire chain - leaves no room for "context?" I don't mean tiring, just intense.

once i have done this i suddenly see " you" in front of me, i realise the need to respond to....what is being conversed about and i will....stilll half in the " zone" blurt out my connections.Daneka here: But wouldn't past experience come with it? Even if the past connection were: blurting out my "resonance" before has gotten me in trouble.offensive when you hear me say it.

fascinating when you understand the theory behind it.

it can be described as a 3 dimensional construct of all experiences in my life, knowledge books and movies made to link together instantaneously.Daneka: This I'm sure this is also related to AS memory. My husband's memory is amazing. If he read something, he won't forget it - no matter how complex, including footnotes in academic papers. He could also tell you if the author took an inconsistent position two years later. Yet, he forgets everyday things all of the time.I do need to run. I hope you're up for more of this because I think this explanation unlocks understanding across many different arenas. Daneka, grateful>

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