To and Leanne - Re: Announcing myself: Rochelle

[Guest guest]

Hi there Princess and Leanne!

Pleased to meet you! I am not formally dx'd but self-dx'd (with much

conferring on Aspires and research everywhere else.) I live in the

Netherlands and it seems that here autism has a negative context and

Aspergers Syndrome seems to come up when discussing the traits of

crimminals (the single-mindedness displayed in what they did, for

example.) So, here they have much to learn and it won't be of any

benefit to me or my family to pursue a diagnosis here because of the

narrow (and sometimes closed-) mindedness of the institutions who

claim to be of help.

Nevertheless, I have noticed that we all have things that went wrong

that we couldn't explain and couldn't fix. For me, it was a

revelation

to understand that some things were common among aspies for example -

the eye contact thing. I couldn't " look people in the eye " as a

child

because it felt uncomfortable and it distracted me to the extent

that

I couldn't keep my thoughts straight. Sometimes it even made me feel

as if I was about to have a panic attack/throw up or something and

I'd begin to fidget and be nervous - horrible! I have been working

on that and

still find it difficult but I consciously try to focus on an eye and

I

look away frequently when speaking so that I can concentrate while

speaking and so I hide this awkward problem and manage to refine a

part of my social contact skills. This is just one thing but slowly,

as I read the various posts and responses, I'd recognise something

in

myself and then it would be easier to accept it and make the choice -

is this something that I want to live with or something that I can

fix

or is it something that I would like to minimise/hide. I just feel

so

empowered by the possibilities that knowledge about myself gives me -

instead of being a victim of circumstances that I can't explain nor

see coming, I now can take more control and 'see' where my

boundaries

are. I can also protect myself better by avoiding the

things/situations that I know I can't handle and by divising

strategies to cope with those that I can't avoid. Not only do I feel

that I have grown (and still growing) personally, but it gives me

more

inner peace because I am able to rationalise more incidents (that

previously caused me embarrassment or frustration)so that I can get

over them and move on. It also helps me to not feel that I

constantly

have to prove things to myself and the world. I know myself much

better now, and I now know to which extent I can rely on

myself....again the boundaries thing. In this way I live in

progression (moving foward) in recognition of the past, and not in

regression by reliving past failures and being in fear of

involuntary

repetition of those failures.

, personal growth is a gift that keeps on giving and can

never

be taken away from you. I know that you will constantly be able to

draw upon the wisdom, experience and diversity on this list - you're

in good company.

Regards,

Rochelle

>

> Hi Rochelle,

>

> I recognized my childhood in a lot of the stories I read, too.

I

am recently formally dx-ed, but self-dx-ed this last Summer, I look

forward to getting to know you, and learning from you. I have only

been on this list since sometime last Summer, but have already

gotten

a lot out of it. There are many strong people here, your friends

among them. I believe that the people who stay here grow a lot,

both

NT and AS.

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