To Lorelie : Re: Announcing myself: Rochelle

[Guest guest]

Hello Lorelie!!!

It is so great to hear from you - I do hope that your illness is under

control or better!!

We're fine and Inge is doing better at school. She is on Ritalin to

help her concentrate but has also become more aware of people - enough

to have a few crazy friends ;-) who laugh at her absentmindedness and

don't mind her dreaminess. Inge is in the 8th grade now and we're

looking for a school with a suitable bridging class for her to make

the transition from primary to high school in. This is a difficult

task but it is made easier by the fact that she is on Ritalin and has

been given a spot in a quieter corner of the class, so hopefully her

concentration will be better and the transition class won't be too

daunting.

Her twin, however is having more difficulty at school now. I have been

trying to get people to notice that he is different and therefore

needs help in different ways, but, as usual, at the beginning of his

school year last autumn the teachers and mentor brushed me off

with " don't worry, he'll be fine. If there's any problem then WE'LL

let YOU know. " Now, 6 months later they're saying that he may have to

repeat the year. Why, because he has 4 unsatifactory subjects. These

are the subjects that he complained about - where there was so much

noise and confusion in the class that he couldn't concentrate. More

than that, whereas Inge's autistic traits seem to have faded into the

background, his traits seem to have increased. Like his tolerance for

loud noises. Even loud speech has him sitting with his hands on his

ears and of course train, bus and other shrill sounds can easily have

him in tears. it's not just that they're painful and give him a

fright - they also send him into a sort of panic attack, whereafter he

can be irritable and even aggressive and needs to be ALONE. Anyway,

there were some incidents at school and finally THEY contacted ME

(capitals written with a deeeeeep sigh....) and asked me if there was

incidence of autism in the family....and I didn't even mention the A-

word in the beginning for fear that people will jump to the conclusion

(as with his sister) that I was a bored housewife who had stumbled a

fancy new term and was looking for attention (another sigh.....)

Anyway, there was tell of his being beaten up by a group of older boys

(during the lunch break) so badly that he was in shock and needed to

be calmed down. He couldn't speak nor focus. After 10 minutes the

teachers tried to get the story out of him but he couldn't remember

what had happend, nor that the beating had happened. He truly blacked-

out - even they could see that he was disorientated and in shock still

but without his complaining ( " laying a charge " ) there was nothing that

could be done to take the matter further than reprimanding the boys.

As for Dieter, when he had calmed down, he was smiling and cheery and

very surprised at the story although he had bruises to confirm it.

What we think happened is that they were teasing him (he is the

smallest and youngest child in the high school)and the noise and

activity of the crowd just became too much and he had a " seeing red

moment " where he became aggressive to get it to stop - at which moment

the boys saw their way clear to lay into him. The teachers who saw it

reported this to the mentor.

At the meeting with the two, she said that although Dieter is a normal

and very bright, cheery little boy, he does abnormal things, and

reacts to situations in abnormal ways. The mentor and the Guidance

counselor asked if we had noticed any " different " things and said to

start with babyhood...which I did....and they then suggested that it

would be wise to seek help and wanted to know if we agreed with

this...I just smiled and reminded the Mentor that of our conversation

on the very first day (he remembered!) and said that I am in full

agreement and was just waiting for THEM to contact ME. Dieter is

scheduled for a psycological investigation that will start soon.

So, it begins again.... ;-) At least my dutch is close to fluent now

(i wasn't as adequate with it when Inge's saga started and that makes

advocacy and doging bullying so very difficult) so I can do a more

effective job for my son. I say " wish me luck " but actually all it

really takes is tenacity to face things and the perseverance to hang

in there.

Sorry to have downloaded on you here- hope that you are ok healthwise

now,

Regards,

Rochelle

>

> I have missed you and your wisdom and wonderful way with words. I

have been " absent " for a couple of years now too, due to illness.

> I got a note from Edgar yesterday so it is feeling like old home

week.

>

> How is your daughter doing in school now?

>

> Welcome back.

>

> Lorelie

>

>