Guest guest Posted May 17, 2008 Report Share Posted May 17, 2008 Welcome NEW Members... My name is and I am the list owner. I apologize that I been silent lately as my life has been spinning in a good way. Today I start 5 days off and yesterday at work I swear, I was on a different planet. Lol It was not because of the people I work with or those that I serve. I was just having an OFF day. Lol I am divorced of a man with AS and have 3 grown kids, all launched into adult life and my youngest daughter with AS lives with me. Our AS son lives with his Dad and our eldest is just getting her Masters living in another city that has a gypsy in her soul. She wants to finish her education in Europe. My family and EX tells me, where do U think she gets this from? She is just a younger model of you. Lol She is going to experience the world HER way and leave HER mark, just like her mother. lol Our marriage of over 19 years was bitter sweet for a lack of other words. The divorce was new beginnings for both of us. Folk's often ask me, "Any chance you will get back together?" Negative as we tried a zillion times. It is true we get along much better now and I left a voice mail for my Mom on Mother's Day and she left one for me saying, I bet you are with Larry and the kids celebrating and she was right. Britt brought me a dozen red roses and they all took me out to dinner. For years I held the family together and than one day I learned I had to give up the control and sit back and finally let them fly on their own. It was so hard and also so liberating at the same time. I often look back and think, did I do enough, or did I do too much? My marriage was full of conflict and was taking a toll on my health. My family started to fall apart due to the divorce. My kids blamed me for breaking up the family and leaving the only home they knew. All I could tell them at the time was the answers you are searching for will be answered in time and I refused to crawl into the mud their father was forcing me in to at the time of our divorce. My AS mother at the time told me to keep my eyes on the prize. Build it and they will come. I was them at a younger age. They are angry and blaming you and nothing you can say will make a difference at this point. They think their father is God. They don't get it. Let them go and see what life is like with their father without YOU running interference. Lol Brittnay for the first year was always saying, I am leaving you and moving in with dad. She at one point moved all her stuff to Larry's home. That lasted all of 48 hours. Larry called me and said she needs to be with you. It is not that I don't love her or would take her but she was attached to your hips when she was born and you have this special bond with her than I don't have and he was right. It was 6 month of us battling for control over the present and past. Hard times for us and our kids. Now we are a united family. Different as we had to redefine family as posted in the media or by professionals... Our family is different and differently structured. We are outside of the box. It works for us and that is all that matters. We choose the forks in our roads which is probably the one thing in our lives we have control over. Choosing wisely is always a life lesson. Isn't that what life is about? Falling down and climbing are way back up??? I am stronger and smarter because of AS and it has expanded my heart and understanding of humanity. This did not happen over night. It has been a lifetime journey with folks on ASPIRES spreading the light... I wish you well on YOUR journey to the mountain. Welcome to ASPIRES. We are a mixed bag of nuts. Our perspectives on any given topic will vary because our brains our wired differently. It is almost like riding the roller coaster as you are in for the ride of your life. You will take many high turns and some very low. It is not where you start, but where U finish and hopefully U will finish on top... "I know of nobody who is purely Autistic or purely neurotypical. Even God had some Autistic moments, which is why the planets all spin." ~ Jerry Newport Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 17, 2008 Report Share Posted May 17, 2008 This is personal, but may I ask? Now that you are divorced and you seem to have made a very wise decision and your family seems to be the better for it, are you seeing other men, or will you? Sandy Welcome NEW Members... Welcome NEW Members... My name is and I am the list owner. I apologize that I been silent lately as my life has been spinning in a good way. Today I start 5 days off and yesterday at work I swear, I was on a different planet. Lol It was not because of the people I work with or those that I serve. I was just having an OFF day. Lol I am divorced of a man with AS and have 3 grown kids, all launched into adult life and my youngest daughter with AS lives with me. Our AS son lives with his Dad and our eldest is just getting her Masters living in another city that has a gypsy in her soul. She wants to finish her education in Europe. My family and EX tells me, where do U think she gets this from? She is just a younger model of you. Lol She is going to experience the world HER way and leave HER mark, just like her mother. lol Our marriage of over 19 years was bitter sweet for a lack of other words. The divorce was new beginnings for both of us. Folk's often ask me, "Any chance you will get back together?" Negative as we tried a zillion times. It is true we get along much better now and I left a voice mail for my Mom on Mother's Day and she left one for me saying, I bet you are with Larry and the kids celebrating and she was right. Britt brought me a dozen red roses and they all took me out to dinner. For years I held the family together and than one day I learned I had to give up the control and sit back and finally let them fly on their own. It was so hard and also so liberating at the same time. I often look back and think, did I do enough, or did I do too much? My marriage was full of conflict and was taking a toll on my health. My family started to fall apart due to the divorce. My kids blamed me for breaking up the family and leaving the only home they knew. All I could tell them at the time was the answers you are searching for will be answered in time and I refused to crawl into the mud their father was forcing me in to at the time of our divorce. My AS mother at the time told me to keep my eyes on the prize. Build it and they will come. I was them at a younger age. They are angry and blaming you and nothing you can say will make a difference at this point. They think their father is God. They don't get it. Let them go and see what life is like with their father without YOU running interference. Lol Brittnay for the first year was always saying, I am leaving you and moving in with dad. She at one point moved all her stuff to Larry's home. That lasted all of 48 hours. Larry called me and said she needs to be with you. It is not that I don't love her or would take her but she was attached to your hips when she was born and you have this special bond with her than I don't have and he was right. It was 6 month of us battling for control over the present and past. Hard times for us and our kids. Now we are a united family. Different as we had to redefine family as posted in the media or by professionals. .. Our family is different and differently structured. We are outside of the box. It works for us and that is all that matters. We choose the forks in our roads which is probably the one thing in our lives we have control over. Choosing wisely is always a life lesson. Isn't that what life is about? Falling down and climbing are way back up??? I am stronger and smarter because of AS and it has expanded my heart and understanding of humanity. This did not happen over night. It has been a lifetime journey with folks on ASPIRES spreading the light... I wish you well on YOUR journey to the mountain. Welcome to ASPIRES. We are a mixed bag of nuts. Our perspectives on any given topic will vary because our brains our wired differently. It is almost like riding the roller coaster as you are in for the ride of your life. You will take many high turns and some very low. It is not where you start, but where U finish and hopefully U will finish on top... "I know of nobody who is purely Autistic or purely neurotypical. Even God had some Autistic moments, which is why the planets all spin." ~ Jerry Newport Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 19, 2008 Report Share Posted May 19, 2008 , I am not too sure: She just posted that it was a Yahoo Group. I will pass her this site, in case it improves things. Thanks, Newland wrote: Hi Is she going here? http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/aspires-relationships/ ~l~ I have shared about your group on another list, and someone wants to join. She tried the yahoo site, and it says that there are only 10 members, and does not even list me. Is that the correct site? She is a female AS, married to an NT, and I know she would learn a lot here. Please advise. Thanks, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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