A word of encouragement to those with AS who want to meet someone....

[Guest guest]

A word of encouragement to those who have AS who seek another

person. Take heart. When I was diagnosed officially with AS last

year, little did I even think, feel, or consider that a night like

last night would have happened with Hayley on a first date. I

encourage anyone who has AS to be proactive in getting help. Educate

yourself (read books, read what is going on in here and in other

Aspie groups, go to AS type conferences and workshops). Get

professional help (get counseling/therapy with someone who

specializes with AS or ask around where you might be able to find a

specialist with AS).

Meet others who have AS, or as someone suggested to me - get involved

with groups in your area which cater to your interests (where it will

be easier to get to know people). Invest in your life and in your

future. We create our own realities. Live in the present (and

appreciate living and being in each present moment), take a hold of

the future, and run with it. Doing nothing but complaining to

everyone about how your life with AS is going because of having

a " woe is me " attitude will only have your life spinning in the mud.

Do know this, however. If you want to meet someone really nice for

you (this applies to both people who are NT or AS), do a lot

of " inner work " in your life. For me, that involved falling in love

with myself and accepting and loving myself for whom I am. Not just

because I was diagnosed with AS, but my whole self. Then, to realize

how much of a special person I am, and the attributes that make me

special.

Be emotionally ready for a relationship. Before meeting Hayley last

night, the person I met a few weeks ago told me the day after meeting

her, " It's not you. It's me. " I didn't know how to take that, until

I read that meant " not being emotionally ready for a relationship " .

Hayley told me she wanted to meet someone who was " ready made " . She

explained further that she didn't want to be around someone who

wasn't ready to give themselves 100% to a relationship. I could not

have agreed any less.

It's easy for anyone with AS or anything else to want meet someone

very nice. You must think that way even if it hasn't happened yet.

Use mental imagery and visualization to picture yourself like the

event is unfolding. Believe in it. Then, act on it, and do the work

needed to make it happen. Unless something turns out to be a

miracle, preparing one's self is involved. It's amazing to see what

happens when things unfold. Be proactive, but allow things to happen

in their own time.

ith someone.