calm after the storm

[Guest guest]

These last couple of months have been some of the most intense months

that I have had in a long time, the heights and depths of my emotions

felt so severe that it made a roller coaster look tame. Every thought,

every memory, every decision, and oh god don't forget every FEELING

was analyze and scrutinized and essentialized and agonized. And with a

nod to Bill, aka Napolean, there were times I was ready to just throw

in the towel and accept that I am crazy-- just accept it, get it out

of the way and live from there.

And then it was gone. Gone so completely (for now, I know) that even

when provoking distressing images and memories I muster little more

than curiosity.

And what is most curious, to me, about all of this is that I can trace

the origin of this calm back to a very specific date. December 26th.

Hmmmm... Coincidence?

I can remember having these episodes between October and December as

far back as the seventh grade, which my friends was a very long time

ago. But I don't think, until this year, I was so aware that it was

happening and the absence of it so pronounced probably because of this

hyper awareness.

Anyway. Just thought I would check in and see how everyone was doing

post-holiday. There seems to be a calm in general on the board and I

didn't know if it was exhaustion.. of if like me things were just on a

more even keel.

--Janelle

[Guest guest]

janelle, this is to let you know that you are not alone. your descriptions of your experiences are mirror images of my own...especially:

And then it was gone. Gone so completely (for now, I know) that even> when provoking distressing images and memories I muster little more> than curiosity.

as you have described in earlier post, the hornets' nest of thoughts can swirl and storm impervious to ACT, SHMACKT, EFT, ZEN, et al. then suddenly there is quietude with the curiosity you describe above. my metaphor is that it's suddenly being the eye of a hurricane...storming, howling gales surrounding, but not disturbing the peace of the eye. like you, my seventh grade years are long, long behind me, but these long ago events are the emprints of stuff that shapes what we feel, yet just thoughts.

peace,

alscomi

>> These last couple of months have been some of the most intense months> that I have had in a long time, the heights and depths of my emotions> felt so severe that it made a roller coaster look tame. Every thought,> every memory, every decision, and oh god don't forget every FEELING> was analyze and scrutinized and essentialized and agonized. And with a> nod to Bill, aka Napolean, there were times I was ready to just throw> in the towel and accept that I am crazy-- just accept it, get it out> of the way and live from there. > > And then it was gone. Gone so completely (for now, I know) that even> when provoking distressing images and memories I muster little more> than curiosity.> > And what is most curious, to me, about all of this is that I can trace> the origin of this calm back to a very specific date. December 26th.> Hmmmm... Coincidence? > > I can remember having these episodes between October and December as> far back as the seventh grade, which my friends was a very long time> ago. But I don't think, until this year, I was so aware that it was> happening and the absence of it so pronounced probably because of this> hyper awareness. > > Anyway. Just thought I would check in and see how everyone was doing> post-holiday. There seems to be a calm in general on the board and I> didn't know if it was exhaustion.. of if like me things were just on a> more even keel. > > --Janelle>

[Guest guest]

Dear Janelle:

There is nobody more wonderful than you. I will not add any comment. Or criticism. Or idea. Just you as you are. With every so-called fault. With every wince of pain. It is all so right and wonderful.

Bill (used to be Napoleon) Start the year off right. Easy ways to stay in shape in the new year.