Update on my Daugher.

[Guest guest]

Hi,

I don't know if anyone remembers my post about how I was having difficulties because my daughter refused to call me. Well, all your posts helped me so much during that difficult time. I was able to see her this weekend and she was just proving a point with me. I thinks she sort of regrets what she did and she said she will start answering the phone again.

I learned some through this. One thing was I noticed my catastophizing the whole situation. I believed it would be forever and didn't see the situation clearly. I used many of the ACT skills and learned how to better feel not feel better about the situation. And I learned how to stop trying to fix the situation and let it play out.

I am feeling alot better of course now that it worked out. Your comments helped me so much.

Sending Sunshine.

Robyn

[Guest guest]

Congratulations Robyn and thanks for sharing your breakthrough. Bill

To: ACT_for_the_Public From: robynabc@...Date: Mon, 15 Sep 2008 15:44:39 +0000Subject: Update on my Daugher.

Hi,

I don't know if anyone remembers my post about how I was having difficulties because my daughter refused to call me. Well, all your posts helped me so much during that difficult time. I was able to see her this weekend and she was just proving a point with me. I thinks she sort of regrets what she did and she said she will start answering the phone again.

I learned some through this. One thing was I noticed my catastophizing the whole situation. I believed it would be forever and didn't see the situation clearly. I used many of the ACT skills and learned how to better feel not feel better about the situation. And I learned how to stop trying to fix the situation and let it play out.

I am feeling alot better of course now that it worked out. Your comments helped me so much.

Sending Sunshine.

Robyn

[Guest guest]

I am more than gratified with your good news......CONGRATULATIONS

........No, I was not aware of your personal struggle....but you may recall that I am going through a similar struggle with my son ( 16 ) whom i had no contact with for the past 9 months although I have been sending email, mail, and other goodies. That is what got me starting looking into Acceptance spiritually and ultimately getting to ACT. I can see from your various responses that you have the important nuances of ACT very well understood with proper application for the right situation.

thanks

ibrahim

Update on my Daugher.

Hi,

I don't know if anyone remembers my post about how I was having difficulties because my daughter refused to call me. Well, all your posts helped me so much during that difficult time. I was able to see her this weekend and she was just proving a point with me. I thinks she sort of regrets what she did and she said she will start answering the phone again.

I learned some through this. One thing was I noticed my catastophizing the whole situation. I believed it would be forever and didn't see the situation clearly. I used many of the ACT skills and learned how to better feel not feel better about the situation. And I learned how to stop trying to fix the situation and let it play out.

I am feeling alot better of course now that it worked out. Your comments helped me so much.

Sending Sunshine.

Robyn

[Guest guest]

Hi Ibrahim,

I am sorry for your situation. I can totally identify. The short

time I didn't talk to my daughter was horrible. Even though after

some time it was better. But not good. Especially since it sounds as

if you may have some others trying to sway your son. I just wonder if

you should do something legally about it. You should have rights too.

As far as the feelings associated with the pain, I just let myself

feel bad about it instead of my natural inclination to block it. It

was tough at first but once I would get through the wave of feeling it

was actually much better after and I learned that through this

experience. I hope the best for you and your son. I am truly sorry

this is happening to you. There really is nothing worse than being

separated from our children.

Robyn

>

> I am more than gratified with your good news......CONGRATULATIONS

>

> .......No, I was not aware of your personal struggle....but you may

recall that I am going through a similar struggle with my son ( 16 )

whom i had no contact with for the past 9 months although I have been

sending email, mail, and other goodies. That is what got me starting

looking into Acceptance spiritually and ultimately getting to ACT. I

can see from your various responses that you have the important

nuances of ACT very well understood with proper application for the

right situation.

>

> thanks

> ibrahim

>

>

>

> ----- Original Message ----

>

[Guest guest]

I do not know what to say other than that the pain is sometimes just unbearable.......I had a very good relationship with my son and it just got abrubtly cut with no communication whatsoever...yes he has been encouraged....but what good is legal if he is not willing regadless of the many many notes and letters......I feel many times to be helpless.....I am waiting on the Lord.

ibrahim

[ACT_for_the_ Public] Re: Update on my Daugher.

Hi Ibrahim, I am sorry for your situation. I can totally identify. The shorttime I didn't talk to my daughter was horrible. Even though aftersome time it was better. But not good. Especially since it sounds asif you may have some others trying to sway your son. I just wonder ifyou should do something legally about it. You should have rights too. As far as the feelings associated with the pain, I just let myselffeel bad about it instead of my natural inclination to block it. Itwas tough at first but once I would get through the wave of feeling itwas actually much better after and I learned that through thisexperience. I hope the best for you and your son. I am truly sorrythis is happening to you. There really is nothing worse than beingseparated from our children. Robyn >> I am more than gratified with your good news......CONGRATUL ATIONS> > .......No, I was not aware of your personal struggle.... but you mayrecall that I am going through a similar struggle with my son ( 16 )whom i had no contact with for the past 9 months although I have beensending email, mail, and other goodies. That is what got me startinglooking into Acceptance spiritually and ultimately getting to ACT. Ican see from your various responses that you have the importantnuances of ACT very well understood with proper application for theright situation.> > thanks> ibrahim> > > > ----- Original Message ---->

[Guest guest]

Ibrahim,

Maybe he isn't getting your communication. Is there a restraining order? If

not I would try to see him. And keep sending stuff and keep telling him how

much you love him. Don't assume anthing. Maybe he isn't getting anything from

you. I feel so bad for your situation. But don't give up!

Robyn

--------- [ACT_for_the_ Public] Re: Update on my Daugher.

>

>

> Hi Ibrahim,

>

> I am sorry for your situation. I can totally identify. The short

> time I didn't talk to my daughter was horrible. Even though after

> some time it was better. But not good. Especially since it sounds as

> if you may have some others trying to sway your son. I just wonder if

> you should do something legally about it. You should have rights too.

>

> As far as the feelings associated with the pain, I just let myself

> feel bad about it instead of my natural inclination to block it. It

> was tough at first but once I would get through the wave of feeling it

> was actually much better after and I learned that through this

> experience. I hope the best for you and your son. I am truly sorry

> this is happening to you. There really is nothing worse than being

> separated from our children.

>

> Robyn

>

> >> I am more than gratified with your good news......CONGRATUL ATIONS> > .......No, I was not aware of your personal struggle.... but you mayrecall that I am going through a similar struggle with my son ( 16 )whom i had no contact with for the past 9 months although I have beensending email, mail, and other goodies. That is what got me startinglooking into Acceptance spiritually and ultimately getting to ACT. Ican see from your various responses that you have the importantnuances of ACT very well understood with proper application for theright situation.> > thanks> ibrahim> > > > ----- Original Message ---->

[Guest guest]

Helena,

I am so sorry about your son. It doesn't matter what the circumstances, it is

heartbreaking. And your situation is just as difficult as any of us. It makes

me want to cry. I wish I knew how to make you feel better about it. Except to

maybe know that maybe he will come back. Maybe he just needs time. But one

thing I do know is we all do our best. And you did your best. I am sure you

would not give him up unless you loved him dearly. And if others don't know

that. You do in your heart and no one can take that away. Sometimes only

other mothers understand.

Thanks so much for your kind words.

Sending Sunshine.

Robyn

--------- Re: Update on my Daugher.

>

>

>

> Hi Ibrahim,

>

> I am sorry for your situation. I can totally identify. The short

> time I didn't talk to my daughter was horrible. Even though after

> some time it was better. But not good. Especially since it sounds as

> if you may have some others trying to sway your son. I just wonder if

> you should do something legally about it. You should have rights too.

>

> As far as the feelings associated with the pain, I just let myself

> feel bad about it instead of my natural inclination to block it. It

> was tough at first but once I would get through the wave of feeling it

> was actually much better after and I learned that through this

> experience. I hope the best for you and your son. I am truly sorry

> this is happening to you. There really is nothing worse than being

> separated from our children.

>

> Robyn

>

> >> I am more than gratified with your good news......CONGRATULATIONS> > .......No, I was not aware of your personal struggle....but you mayrecall that I am going through a similar struggle with my son ( 16 )whom i had no contact with for the past 9 months although I have beensending email, mail, and other goodies. That is what got me startinglooking into Acceptance spiritually and ultimately getting to ACT. Ican see from your various responses that you have the importantnuances of ACT very well understood with proper application for theright situation.> > thanks> ibrahim> > > > ----- Original Message ---->

[Guest guest]

Robyn, thanks for your understanding and compassion. I have a friend who has adopted a son, and she wrote a book about him and dedicated it to me. I consider that quite an honor. She has helped me to forgive myself for not keeping my son. Her son is marvelous and couldn't be more loved. My son, too, has turned out to be a kind and talented young man; I am so proud of him and grateful to his parents. He even looks a lot like me (I've seen pictures but haven't seen him in person since the day he was born, when I insisted on holding him.)

Perhaps, as you say, he will find me again.

Helena

Re: Update on my Daugher.> > > > Hi Ibrahim, > > I am sorry for your situation. I can totally identify. The short> time I didn't talk to my daughter was horrible. Even though after> some time it was better. But not good. Especially since it sounds as> if you may have some others trying to sway your son. I just wonder if> you should do something legally about it. You should have rights too. > > As far as the feelings associated with the pain, I just let myself> feel bad about it instead of my natural inclination to block it. It> was tough at first but once I would get through the wave of feeling it> was actually much better after and I learned that through this> experience. I hope the best for you and your son. I am truly sorry> this is happening to you. There really is nothing worse than being> separated from our children. > > Robyn > > > >> > I am more than gratified with your good news......CONGRATULATIONS> > > > .......No, I was not aware of your personal struggle....but you may> recall that I am going through a similar struggle with my son ( 16 )> whom i had no contact with for the past 9 months although I have been> sending email, mail, and other goodies. That is what got me starting> looking into Acceptance spiritually and ultimately getting to ACT. I> can see from your various responses that you have the important> nuances of ACT very well understood with proper application for the> right situation.> > > > thanks> > ibrahim> > > > > > > > ----- Original Message ----> >> > > >