Guest guest Posted September 20, 2008 Report Share Posted September 20, 2008 I could have put it even more simply. A goal is something you can scratch off you list, once accomplished. You can never scratch a value off your list; values are ongoing and never end. Unless, of course, you decide to change your values. That is a different matter and one that, to me, is always up for scrutiny. Helena Values in ACT, was Re: Re: more aaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhhhh.................. Hey Louise, I'd say it a little differently. I'd say choosing a valued directions allows you to choose your behavior based on how it might bring you in that direction, rather than based on the thoughts and feelings that might come with it. And, when you notice that your behavior is not bringing you in that direction, to choose to return from avoidance and fusion to valued living, regardless of what thoughts and feelings might come along. To break that down, I want my clients (and me too!) to focus on freely choosing direction. Sometimes conversations about "identifying" or "clarifying" values can keep people stuck in trying to pick the "true" or "right" values. I'd also distinguish values from goals because they are more like directions than locations in that they can never be met. For example, you can go north forever and would never stop and say, "there. I've done it. I'm finally north." Going to Saskatchewan, however, is a one-time thing. Values-consistent goals are chosen in ACT, but are only important in the sense that they mark a step in the chosen direction. I'd also be wary of being too sure of the direction that choosing values will lead. Sometimes you'll notice yourself moving in the totally opposite direction, and the thing to do then is to gently turn back. Being unwilling to fall off your chosen direction means being unwilling to pursue that direction. In other words, being willing to fail, over and over, sometimes in small ways and sometimes in big ones, may just be the price of admission. To give an example, I value parenting. I've chosen to value being an extraordinary mother. Just typing that here makes my heart beat faster and my throat close up. And - I choose to be an extraordinary mother. This is not a goal because it's not something I'll ever accomplish and be done with. That being said, I've set and reset goals that, if accomplished, would move me in this direction, and I often accomplish them. Except when I don't. And when I notice myself making choices that move me in a direction that is not being an extraordinary mother, I smack myself around a little psychologically, and when I'm through wasting my time, I choose to turn back. And choosing to be an extraordinary mother never gets easier. And choosing to be an extraordinary mother never gets less vital, rich, or meaningful. emily Yes, that makes sense. I always see things as cycles (sometimes vicious but potentially virtuous) So I suppose identifying your values can lead to seeing where you want to go, seeing whether you are actually getting there by the way you are living at present, and if not changing they way you think, behave and feel, and that might eventually lead to your changing your opinion about your values if they weren't advantageous ones, and so on. So maybe rather than an ever ending cycle it could be seen as a sort of spiral going upwards or at least taking you in some better direction or other?That I'm sure isn't using any ACT jargon as I'm a beginner but in old-hat (2nd generation?) CBT my first homework was to set goals which I suppose is similar to identifying values or is there an important distinction? Sandoz, M.S. Graduate Student Department of Psychology University of Mississippi emilykennisongmail Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 21, 2008 Report Share Posted September 21, 2008 > > I could have put it even more simply. A goal is something you can scratch off you list, once accomplished. You can never scratch a value off your list; values are ongoing and never end. Unless, of course, you decide to change your values. That is a different matter and one that, to me, is always up for scrutiny. > > Helena I should have read on, Helena, as you'd already made my point! I suppose I had also considered being a good person as a goal (no doubt unachievable from my point of view though!) Louise Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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