Mindfullness Practice

[Guest guest]

Hi All

I have recently started to practice mindfullness using the Russ

recordings.

I am finding (i think because I dread how awful, bizarre, scary,

twisted my thoughts can get and that I have been scared of my minds

ability to do this - the last place I want to be is inside my head -

in the war zone, quite literally!) that even the most innocuous of

examples is twisted by my mind into something negative. For example,

Russ suggests practising mindfullness in the shower - my mind jumps in

and says " yeah but what if you were hydrophobic " or finds some equally

negative " slap me down " answer. My mind is doing this all the time,

it's like a " twist everything to hurt Tony " machine. I want to tell

my mind to shut up, overpower it and argue with it to prove that it is

wrong (I'm pretty much constantly doing that too), but all that

happens is my mind find something else to twist, so I'm constantly

defending myself. And...even though I know it doesn't work I keep

doing it - habit I guess

Even as I write this I can see what I am doing is the polar opposite

of ACT, but when the thoughts are in my face, almost goading a

reaction I find it very difficult to pay them no attention, let them

go like leaves on a stream etc etc

I'd be interested to know if you experience anything similar and how

you have developed your mindfullness skills to ignore them or minimise

your reaction to them

Thanks, T