RE: Can defusion ever become a habit?

[Guest guest]

HI Bill,

I guess when I think of 'getting it' I feel like oh someday this will go away

when I 'get it' and I know that is not true. However I know what you mean

about the string of ah ha! moments.

Thanks so much,

Happy Holiday.s

--------- Re: Re: Can defusion ever >

> become a habit?> > > I totally agree. I want the pain, in my case anxiety and

> non-specific fear to > stop. > > I'm talking with a therapist and he says to

me

> " you want ACT to cure you, don't > you? " and I have to admit he's right. I

don't

> want to just accept how awful I > feel. I want to feel different. And he says

> " that's just where you are right > now " .> > I was just shopping downtown in

our

> small town, holding my daughter's hand and > finding some really perfect gifts

> for her mom. We have snow here, which rarely > happens. And I was thinking, in

> years past, I would have found this warm and > delightful. And a few shots of

> liquor would have made it even better. Now I no > longer drink and more than

> half my mind, actually my gut mostly, is just full of > fear. But I did get

the

> job done.> > I wonder how far off I am from " normal " people who also have

> dysfunctional > fears. I'm told everybody has them. I guess I fall under

> Weekes > definition of " anxiety that interferes with normal activities " . I can

> do what I > have to do pretty well. But not anything beyond that and every day

I

> wake up > with the lump in the gut that doesn't go away.> > I guess I'm still

a

> ways away from getting it.> > Thanks,> Bruce> > > > > On Dec 23, 2008, at 1:36

> AM, pppboy21 wrote:> > > > > Ha, this is another point I often get stuck on,

so

> I'm glad someone else is > acknowledging it Very often I have done ACT with

a

> sense of urgency and > determination but quite often that attitude is exactly

> what isn't needed. Then > again sometimes I'll get lazy and not put much

effort

> into practise. What a > juggling act! >Just do that practice with a sense of lightness and> curiosity. I say that because it is easy to slide into using ACT with a> sense of urgency - the same kind of urgency we may apply to our pain> using old tactics and skills. It is, as if, something must be done now,> when in fact, there may be nothing to do apart from being right where> you are, just as you are, and choosing what you want to do.> > > > Peace -j> >

[Guest guest]

Awesome way to describe it Bill, and it is worth noting that often the " oh " comes a bit after (and sometimes well after) you make the move. It does not always announceitself in real time (and if you wait for it to do so in order to be sure

you are making progress, you are in an evaluative mode of mind thatmakes the " oh " less likely in the first place. Darn mind!)Let me add my " happy holidays " to all. I am constantly bouyed up by the

courage, sense of community, and willingness to contribute by those on the list- S C. Foundation ProfessorDepartment of Psychology /298University of NevadaReno, NV 89557-0062

hayes@... or stevenchayes@...Fax: Context Press (you can use for messages): (www.contextpress.com)

If you want my vita, publications, PowerPoint slides, go to http://www.contextualpsychology.org/blog/steven_hayes If you are a professional or student and want to be part of the world wide ACT discussion or RFT discussions go to http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/acceptanceandcommitmenttherapy/join

orhttp://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/relationalframetheory/joinIf you are a member of the public reading ACT self-help books (e.g., " Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life " etc) go to: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/ACT_for_the_Public/join

Hi Robyn - By " getting it " I mean getting something useful, no matter how small, from ACT and being able to build on the experience. For me it's been more of an " Oh " experience than an Ahaaa experience. But a string of a few Ohs feels good.

Bill

To: ACT_for_the_Public From: robynabc@...Date: Wed, 24 Dec 2008 16:19:12 +0000

Subject: RE: Re: Can defusion ever become a habit?

You know I REALLY love what you said about channeling anxiety. Accept and channel the rest. That gives my mind something to do during anxiety. It wants to 'work' it's way out of this. Channeling that extra energy would be helpful but it won't completely do it and accepting the rest seems like a really good way to go.

All this talk about Bruce 'getting it " makes me wonder what you mean by that. I wonder when I am going to 'get it'. Robyn --------- Re: Re: Can defusion ever > become a habit?> > > I totally agree. I want the pain, in my case anxiety and non-specific fear to > stop.

> > I'm talking with a therapist and he says to me " you want ACT to cure you, don't > you? " and I have to admit he's right. I don't want to just accept how awful I > feel. I want to feel different. And he says " that's just where you are right

> now " .> > I was just shopping downtown in our small town, holding my daughter's hand and > finding some really perfect gifts for her mom. We have snow here, which rarely > happens. And I was thinking, in years past, I would have found this warm and

> delightful. And a few shots of liquor would have made it even better. Now I no > longer drink and more than half my mind, actually my gut mostly, is just full of > fear. But I did get the job done.>

> I wonder how far off I am from " normal " people who also have dysfunctional > fears. I'm told everybody has them. I guess I fall under Weekes > definition of " anxiety that interferes with normal activities " . I can do what I

> have to do pretty well. But not anything beyond that and every day I wake up > with the lump in the gut that doesn't go away.> > I guess I'm still a ways away from getting it.>

> Thanks,> Bruce> > > > > > > > > > Ha, this is another point I often get stuck on, so I'm glad someone else is

> acknowledging it Very often I have done ACT with a sense of urgency and > determination but quite often that attitude is exactly what isn't needed. Then > again sometimes I'll get lazy and not put much effort into practise. What a

> juggling act! >Just do that practice with a sense of lightness and> curiosity. I say that because it is easy to slide into using ACT with a> sense of urgency - the same kind of urgency we may apply to our pain

> using old tactics and skills. It is, as if, something must be done now,> when in fact, there may be nothing to do apart from being right where> you are, just as you are, and choosing what you want to do.

> > > > Peace -j> >

[Guest guest]

Dr. and the other professionals on this list, I want to thank you for

taking time out of your day to help us understand these books. It has been a

key to understanding what we are reading and the strength I gain is

immeasurable. Thank you again to everyone. I draw strength from all of you,

including the members of the list.

Robyn

--------- Re: Re: Can defusion

> > ever

> > > become a habit?

> > >

> > >

> > > I totally agree. I want the pain, in my case anxiety and non-specific

> > fear to

> > > stop.

> > >

> > > I'm talking with a therapist and he says to me " you want ACT to cure you,

> > don't

> > > you? " and I have to admit he's right. I don't want to just accept how

> > awful I

> > > feel. I want to feel different. And he says " that's just where you are

> > right

> > > now " .

> > >

> > > I was just shopping downtown in our small town, holding my daughter's

> > hand and

> > > finding some really perfect gifts for her mom. We have snow here, which

> > rarely

> > > happens. And I was thinking, in years past, I would have found this warm

> > and

> > > delightful. And a few shots of liquor would have made it even better. Now

> > I no

> > > longer drink and more than half my mind, actually my gut mostly, is just

> > full of

> > > fear. But I did get the job done.

> > >

> > > I wonder how far off I am from " normal " people who also have

> > dysfunctional

> > > fears. I'm told everybody has them. I guess I fall under Weekes

> > > definition of " anxiety that interferes with normal activities " . I can do

> > what I

> > > have to do pretty well. But not anything beyond that and every day I wake

> > up

> > > with the lump in the gut that doesn't go away.

> > >

> > > I guess I'm still a ways away from getting it.

> > >

> > > Thanks,

> > > Bruce

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > Ha, this is another point I often get stuck on, so I'm glad someone else

> > is

> > > acknowledging it Very often I have done ACT with a sense of urgency

> > and

> > > determination but quite often that attitude is exactly what isn't needed.

> > Then

> > > again sometimes I'll get lazy and not put much effort into practise. What

> > a

> > > juggling act! >Just do that practice with a sense of lightness and> curiosity. I say that because it is easy to slide into using ACT with a> sense of urgency - the same kind of urgency we may apply to our pain

> using old tactics and skills. It is, as if, something must be done now,> when in fact, there may be nothing to do apart from being right where> you are, just as you are, and choosing what you want to do.

> > > > Peace -j> >

[Guest guest]

I totally agree with Robyn's sentiments. Having the authors of our books in the group is a tremendous source of knowledge and support. And it's one of the things that got me into exploring ACT in the first place. So I want to extend my gratitude, as well.Bruce Dr. and the other professionals on this list, I want to thank you for taking time out of your day to help us understand these books. It has been a key to understanding what we are reading and the strength I gain is immeasurable. Thank you again to everyone. I draw strength from all of you, including the members of the list. Robyn --------- Re: Re: Can defusion > > ever > > > become a habit? > > > > > > > > > I totally agree. I want the pain, in my case anxiety and non-specific > > fear to > > > stop. > > > > > > I'm talking with a therapist and he says to me "you want ACT to cure you, > > don't > > > you?" and I have to admit he's right. I don't want to just accept how > > awful I > > > feel. I want to feel different. And he says "that's just where you are > > right > > > now". > > > > > > I was just shopping downtown in our small town, holding my daughter's > > hand and > > > finding some really perfect gifts for her mom. We have snow here, which > > rarely > > > happens. And I was thinking, in years past, I would have found this warm > > and > > > delightful. And a few shots of liquor would have made it even better. Now > > I no > > > longer drink and more than half my mind, actually my gut mostly, is just > > full of > > > fear. But I did get the job done. > > > > > > I wonder how far off I am from "normal" people who also have > > dysfunctional > > > fears. I'm told everybody has them. I guess I fall under Weekes > > > definition of "anxiety that interferes with normal activities". I can do > > what I > > > have to do pretty well. But not anything beyond that and every day I wake > > up > > > with the lump in the gut that doesn't go away. > > > > > > I guess I'm still a ways away from getting it. > > > > > > Thanks, > > > Bruce > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Ha, this is another point I often get stuck on, so I'm glad someone else > > is > > > acknowledging it Very often I have done ACT with a sense of urgency > > and > > > determination but quite often that attitude is exactly what isn't needed. > > Then > > > again sometimes I'll get lazy and not put much effort into practise. What > > a > > > juggling act! >Just do that practice with a sense of lightness and> curiosity. I say that because it is easy to slide into using ACT with a> sense of urgency - the same kind of urgency we may apply to our pain > using old tactics and skills. It is, as if, something must be done now,> when in fact, there may be nothing to do apart from being right where> you are, just as you are, and choosing what you want to do. > > > > Peace -j> > 

[Guest guest]

Thanks .

Early on, the "oh" was simply an involuntary slightly deeper breath, the kind that comes from relief. In a gut-wrenching anxiety episode that was quite an event. I think the most interesting part of this is that I would notice that I noticed the deeper breath, a sign to me that I might be doing something right (getting it) - which gave encouragement to continue.

Bill

To: ACT_for_the_Public From: stevenchayes@...Date: Wed, 24 Dec 2008 11:33:18 -0800Subject: Re: Re: Can defusion ever become a habit?

Awesome way to describe it Bill, and it is worth noting that often the "oh"comes a bit after (and sometimes well after) you make the move. It does not always announceitself in real time (and if you wait for it to do so in order to be sureyou are making progress, you are in an evaluative mode of mind thatmakes the "oh" less likely in the first place. Darn mind!)Let me add my "happy holidays" to all. I am constantly bouyed up by the courage, sense of community, and willingness to contribute by those on the list- S C. Foundation ProfessorDepartment of Psychology /298University of NevadaReno, NV 89557-0062hayes@... or stevenchayesgmailFax: Context Press (you can use for messages): (www.contextpress.com)If you want my vita, publications, PowerPoint slides, go to http://www.contextualpsychology.org/blog/steven_hayes If you are a professional or student and want to be part of the world wide ACT discussion or RFT discussions go to http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/acceptanceandcommitmenttherapy/joinorhttp://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/relationalframetheory/joinIf you are a member of the public reading ACT self-help books (e.g., "Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life" etc) go to: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/ACT_for_the_Public/join

On Wed, Dec 24, 2008 at 9:47 AM, BILL CAMERON <wcameromsn> wrote:

Hi Robyn - By "getting it" I mean getting something useful, no matter how small, from ACT and being able to build on the experience. For me it's been more of an "Oh" experience than an Ahaaa experience. But a string of a few Ohs feels good.

Bill

To: ACT_for_the_Public From: robynabccomcast (DOT) netDate: Wed, 24 Dec 2008 16:19:12 +0000Subject: RE: Re: Can defusion ever become a habit?

You know I REALLY love what you said about channeling anxiety. Accept and channel the rest. That gives my mind something to do during anxiety. It wants to 'work' it's way out of this. Channeling that extra energy would be helpful but it won't completely do it and accepting the rest seems like a really good way to go. All this talk about Bruce 'getting it" makes me wonder what you mean by that. I wonder when I am going to 'get it'. Robyn --------- Re: Re: Can defusion ever > become a habit?> > > I totally agree. I want the pain, in my case anxiety and non-specific fear to > stop. > > I'm talking with a therapist and he says to me "you want ACT to cure you, don't > you?" and I have to admit he's right. I don't want to just accept how awful I > feel. I want to feel different. And he says "that's just where you are right > now".> > I was just shopping downtown in our small town, holding my daughter's hand and > finding some really perfect gifts for her mom. We have snow here, which rarely > happens. And I was thinking, in years past, I would have found this warm and > delightful. And a few shots of liquor would have made it even better. Now I no > longer drink and more than half my mind, actually my gut mostly, is just full of > fear. But I did get the job done.> > I wonder how far off I am from "normal" people who also have dysfunctional > fears. I'm told everybody has them. I guess I fall under Weekes > definition of "anxiety that interferes with normal activities". I can do what I > have to do pretty well. But not anything beyond that and every day I wake up > with the lump in the gut that doesn't go away.> > I guess I'm still a ways away from getting it.> > Thanks,> Bruce> > > > > > > > > > Ha, this is another point I often get stuck on, so I'm glad someone else is > acknowledging it Very often I have done ACT with a sense of urgency and > determination but quite often that attitude is exactly what isn't needed. Then > again sometimes I'll get lazy and not put much effort into practise. What a > juggling act! >Just do that practice with a sense of lightness and> curiosity. I say that because it is easy to slide into using ACT with a> sense of urgency - the same kind of urgency we may apply to our pain> using old tactics and skills. It is, as if, something must be done now,> when in fact, there may be nothing to do apart from being right where> you are, just as you are, and choosing what you want to do.> > > > Peace -j> >