Guest guest Posted December 19, 2008 Report Share Posted December 19, 2008 OK, before you all say, "by practicing it," let me ask how can I develop more patience with myself. Seriously, I need a little more than by practicing it. Any thoughts? Laurel Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 19, 2008 Report Share Posted December 19, 2008 Hi Laurel, I have no idea. I, too, am impatient with myself, and when I am, I just accept that about me ... OR I berate myself. And I remind myself that I am so much more patient with others than I am with myself. But why?--Am I not at least as important of my patient, loving consideration as others are? Patience is one of those things that probably can't be practiced. How would you do that? It won't appear just by saying or wishing it is so. I would guess that it comes as a side effect of living in the moment and moving towards one's values. If you live in the moment, impatience could have no place. If you are moving toward your values, it would serve no purpose. Hmmm. A lot to think about with that question. Helena Patience OK, before you all say, "by practicing it," let me ask how can I develop more patience with myself. Seriously, I need a little more than by practicing it. Any thoughts? Laurel Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 19, 2008 Report Share Posted December 19, 2008 One ideaCreate one or two situations that require patience andswear to maintain curiosity in how it feels to walk thru it.E.g., apply for something important that will take monthsto hear back on and then put reminders around to remember that you haven't yet heard. Then sit with what is inside impatienceand see what you learnetcWe learn so little about ourselves in our normal mode of mind.Hard to know what is hard when we never create situations in which we can learnSay, by the way, I'm blogging now for Psychology Today.The blog is called " Get Out of Your Mind. " Check it out if you like (or add a comment)http://blogs.psychologytoday.com/ - S C. Foundation ProfessorDepartment of Psychology /298University of NevadaReno, NV 89557-0062hayes@... or stevenchayes@... Fax: Context Press (you can use for messages): (www.contextpress.com)If you want my vita, publications, PowerPoint slides, go to http://www.contextualpsychology.org/blog/steven_hayes If you are a professional or student and want to be part of the world wide ACT discussion or RFT discussions go to http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/acceptanceandcommitmenttherapy/join orhttp://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/relationalframetheory/joinIf you are a member of the public reading ACT self-help books (e.g., " Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life " etc) go to: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/ACT_for_the_Public/join Hi Laurel, I have no idea. I, too, am impatient with myself, and when I am, I just accept that about me ... OR I berate myself. And I remind myself that I am so much more patient with others than I am with myself. But why?--Am I not at least as important of my patient, loving consideration as others are? Patience is one of those things that probably can't be practiced. How would you do that? It won't appear just by saying or wishing it is so. I would guess that it comes as a side effect of living in the moment and moving towards one's values. If you live in the moment, impatience could have no place. If you are moving toward your values, it would serve no purpose. Hmmm. A lot to think about with that question. Helena Patience OK, before you all say, " by practicing it, " let me ask how can I develop more patience with myself. Seriously, I need a little more than by practicing it. Any thoughts? Laurel Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 19, 2008 Report Share Posted December 19, 2008 I think you are on the right track, Helena. Patience is like acceptance or making room for. Russ chose the word "expansion" for this component of ACT. GOOYMAIYL, I think, has a metaphor about the irkesome aunt that shows up at a family party. The choice is to not let her in, impatience; or invite her in and go on with enjoying the party (moving ahead towards a valued life.) Helena, you also mentioned "my patient, loving consideration" for myself (my words). That brings up the idea of loving kindness for one's self, which I have not been able to specifically fit into the ACT model, but I know it's important. Somewhere along the line I started using a simple statement to myself which brings calm in times of stress. "My I be filled with kindness and compassion for others and myself; may I be well in mind and body; may I be safe from danger within and outside myself; and may I be truly happy and free." I think I would categorize this as mindfulness towards self. Thanks to whoever I got this from. O r perhaps it's a broad statement of my values. Bill To: ACT_for_the_Public From: H_Rychener@...Date: Fri, 19 Dec 2008 18:08:52 -0500Subject: Re: Patience Hi Laurel, I have no idea. I, too, am impatient with myself, and when I am, I just accept that about me ... OR I berate myself. And I remind myself that I am so much more patient with others than I am with myself. But why?--Am I not at least as important of my patient, loving consideration as others are? Patience is one of those things that probably can't be practiced. How would you do that? It won't appear just by saying or wishing it is so. I would guess that it comes as a side effect of living in the moment and moving towards one's values. If you live in the moment, impatience could have no place. If you are moving toward your values, it would serve no purpose. Hmmm. A lot to think about with that question. Helena Patience OK, before you all say, "by practicing it," let me ask how can I develop more patience with myself. Seriously, I need a little more than by practicing it. Any thoughts? Laurel Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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