Effective mindful acceptance ? undermining mindful acceptance

[Guest guest]

Hi everyoneI have been experiencing a severe anxiety disorder for about 12 months now and working with an ACT therapist and the books for about 6 months. I believe I am now living all of my values except going back to work which will happen in January. I don't always feel great much of the time but hey that isn't a choice is it. I have a sticky problem to share to see if any others have insight:My mind tells me that I have developed some skill and experience with mindful acceptance and defusion to the point that I can often do so when unwanted stuff shows up to the point that the pain significantly diminishes or even goes away. The problem is that I then begin to use all my training whenever stuff shows up with the hidden goal of diminishing or banishing the pain, and want to hold on to the pleasant state of no pain. I then can get

frustrated and resentful when I have severe pain that doesn't respond to mindful acceptance! I realise that this is a sneaky mindgame but I'm not sure that I see the fine difference between avoidance of pain and "interrupting the mindmachine, noticing and defusing from judgements and staying in the present", which often diminishes my pain! I can see that the goal is to soften and stay with the pain but I find when I really drop the struggle and adopt this stance the pain often diminishes. Man my mind is sneaky, what is the best approach here Russ or ? I think recently I have just started to enjoy it when it happens but try not to expect it (even though I know my mind desires otherwise).ThanksLeo