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Russ - The secret is to practice the exercises in any of the official ACT books. Acceptance of thoughts and feelings is not a thinking process. It's a doing process. Instead of being preoccupied with the thoughts and feelings and trying to think your way out of them, you move ahead with your hands and feet towards a VALUED LIFE. Valued life implies you have done the values work that is an integral part of ACT.

The Happiness Trap by Russ is an excellent "how to" book. It helped me actually implement ACT concepts once I had intellectualized them from other excellent ACT books.

Practice, practice, practice, so you are ready when you really need to be able to invoke ACT in the clinch.

Bill

To: ACT_for_the_Public From: russogn@...Date: Fri, 12 Dec 2008 11:58:58 -0800Subject: hard time with this ACT concept

anyone else find it really difficult to accept thoughts and feelings, as just thoughts and feelings, and not what your brain tells you it is? i find this ACT concept really hard to follow. anyone have any tips for getting better at this? -russ

From: robynabccomcast (DOT) net <robynabccomcast (DOT) net>Subject: Re: Re: The Opposite Sex.To: ACT_for_the_Public Date: Friday, December 12, 2008, 1:50 PM

Thank you for that advice. :) Robyn ------------ -- Original message ------------ --------- -From: "darkestjourney" <rageforthemachine@ earthlink. net>> It did and does take a lot of work to be intimate. A lot of work,> pain, and crying. It makes me wonder if it is all worth it. Then I> imagine what the last nine years of my life would have been like if I> had just thrown in the towel and said it was too much for me to> handle. Believe me it is worth it. There are a lot of nice guys out> there. It is just sometimes were a little shy. Look for the quiet ones> and you'll never go back.:)> > > > > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > I know this is sort of off topic but I just don't know who > > > > to ask > > > > > > > about this stuff. I met someone on line. We have been > > > > talking and I > > > > > > > have just come through a divorce from an abusive person. I > > > > was > > > > > > > married over 20 years even though I did have a lot of men > > > > friends > > > > > > > over those years. My husband knew about it. And I had some > > > > > > > attraction to one of them and wanted to leave my marriage. > > > > But > > > > > > > didn't. I should have left the abusive marriage a long time > > > > ago. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Anyway, I am feeling like an emotional idiot. I don't > > > know > > > > how to > > > > > > > deal with men now. I don't know how to get back into > > > dating, > > > > > > > especially with my issues. This person I met seems really > > > > nice. He > > > > > > > completely understands anxiety disorders but I don't know how > > > > to act > > > > > > > or feel or anything. Does anyone know how to learn to get > > > > back into > > > > > > > the world. My mind is saying alot of stuff. The one thing I > > > > have > > > > > > > learned through all this pain is to take things slow. I > > > don't > > > > ever > > > > > > > see myself married again. Because it will take me years to > > > > trust > > > > > > > someone that much. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Of course my thinking mind wants to get a book on it. I > > > > don't know > > > > > > > what to do. Especially, when someone is attracted to me and > > > > I don't > > > > > > > know how I feel. I feel like I know nothing. I love chick > > > > flicks > > > > > > > and that is not a good place to get my information on dating > > > > again. > > > > > > > LOL > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Any help in this area is appreciated. I know it is off the > > > > ACT > > > > > > > topic. But maybe not. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Robyn> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >> > > > > >> > > > >> > > >> > > > > > > > >> >> > >

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So did I. What if I really am being an idiot or boring? What if

someone doesn't want me around but I defuse from the thought?

I came to the conclusion that sometimes the thoughts are corect but

most of the time they are not. And if there is some truth in them, it

is nowhere near like what you think. Bill seems to have answered this

better than me. Let your body decide what to do, not your thinking

mind.

Example: I'm talking to a girl and I think she doesn't like me much.

But I have no idea what she is thinking. She might think I'm quite

cute rather than dislike me, but fancies my mate. Or she might

prefer it if I was more robust and confident. I then let my body

decide and I talk for a little bit and then go. Later I might talk to

her again and see how it is and I might feel that she is

disinterested and this might make feel completely worthless. But this

judgement is my own judgement, and I know my mind is biased like

that, it just say's horrible things to me, so I let the thoughts go.

What I end up with is a light evening where my head feels clear, not

full of negative rumination and thoughts about what am I doing wrong

and what caused it. I then find I notice positive responses from

peolple more, and see myself as not perfect but OK.

My mind might also criticise other people but I know it is because it

wants to be beastly to me. It might say that someones dancing is bad

but really it is projecting myself up there - it's saying you're like

that. This horrible judgement makes me hate myself but

I defuse from judging mind. I then realise I don't mean these

judgements, they just occur because of the pain. I then feel light

again because I don't take these judgements seriously and I can see I

don't care for them. They hurt me more than anyone else and I begin

to become free of harsh self judgement. I realise the judgements are

empty.

Just enjoying the dancing and being with people is one of my values.

I'm not an expert, so if I have anything wrong I'm sure the ACT

community will point it out.

Kavy

>

> > > > > > > > >

>

> > > > > > > > > I know this is sort of off topic but I just don't

know who

>

> > > > > to ask

>

> > > > > > > > about this stuff. I met someone on line. We have

been

>

> > > > > talking and I

>

> > > > > > > > have just come through a divorce from an abusive

person. I

>

> > > > > was

>

> > > > > > > > married over 20 years even though I did have a lot

of men

>

> > > > > friends

>

> > > > > > > > over those years. My husband knew about it. And I

had some

>

> > > > > > > > attraction to one of them and wanted to leave my

marriage.

>

> > > > > But

>

> > > > > > > > didn't. I should have left the abusive marriage a

long time

>

> > > > > ago.

>

> > > > > > > > >

>

> > > > > > > > > Anyway, I am feeling like an emotional idiot. I

don't

>

> > > > know

>

> > > > > how to

>

> > > > > > > > deal with men now. I don't know how to get back into

>

> > > > dating,

>

> > > > > > > > especially with my issues. This person I met seems

really

>

> > > > > nice. He

>

> > > > > > > > completely understands anxiety disorders but I don't

know how

>

> > > > > to act

>

> > > > > > > > or feel or anything. Does anyone know how to learn

to get

>

> > > > > back into

>

> > > > > > > > the world. My mind is saying alot of stuff. The one

thing I

>

> > > > > have

>

> > > > > > > > learned through all this pain is to take things

slow. I

>

> > > > don't

>

> > > > > ever

>

> > > > > > > > see myself married again. Because it will take me

years to

>

> > > > > trust

>

> > > > > > > > someone that much.

>

> > > > > > > > >

>

> > > > > > > > > Of course my thinking mind wants to get a book on

it. I

>

> > > > > don't know

>

> > > > > > > > what to do. Especially, when someone is attracted

to me and

>

> > > > > I don't

>

> > > > > > > > know how I feel. I feel like I know nothing. I love

chick

>

> > > > > flicks

>

> > > > > > > > and that is not a good place to get my information on

dating

>

> > > > > again.

>

> > > > > > > > LOL

>

> > > > > > > > >

>

> > > > > > > > > Any help in this area is appreciated. I know it is

off the

>

> > > > > ACT

>

> > > > > > > > topic. But maybe not.

>

> > > > > > > > >

>

> > > > > > > > > Robyn

>

> > > > > > > > >

>

> > > > > > > >

>

> > > > > > > >

>

> > > > > > > >

>

> > > > > > >

>

> > > > > >

>

> > > > >

>

> > > >

>

> > > >

>

> > > >

>

> > >

>

> >

>

> >

>

> >

>

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what i buy into is that my anxiety/panic is dangerous, and that its going to continue to get worse til i cant function. my anxiety is very thick and constant lately, so its very hard to just observe it with curiosity and gentleness. maybe my level of suffering is outside of the scope of ACT...maybe its made for people with lesser levels of anxiety/panic....or that i really havent gotten to the hard work of moving forward with hands and feet on values. i have things i value in my head, but i havent done the drills in the book yet. i need to do that very soon. -russ

From: robynabccomcast (DOT) net <robynabccomcast (DOT) net>Subject: Re: [ACT_for_the_ Public] Re: The Opposite Sex.To: ACT_for_the_ Public@yahoogrou ps.comDate: Friday, December 12, 2008, 1:50 PM

Thank you for that advice. :) Robyn ------------ -- Original message ------------ --------- -From: "darkestjourney" <rageforthemachine@ earthlink. net>> It did and does take a lot of work to be intimate. A lot of work,> pain, and crying. It makes me wonder if it is all worth it. Then I> imagine what the last nine years of my life would have been like if I> had just thrown in the towel and said it was too much for me to> handle. Believe me it is worth it. There are a lot of nice guys out> there. It is just sometimes were a little shy. Look for the quiet ones> and you'll never go back.:)> > > > > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > I know this is sort of off topic but I just don't know who > > > > to ask > > > > > > > about this stuff. I met someone on line. We have been > > > > talking and I > > > > > > > have just come through a divorce from an abusive person. I > > > > was > > > > > > > married over 20 years even though I did have a lot of men > > > > friends > > > > > > > over those years. My husband knew about it. And I had some > > > > > > > attraction to one of them and wanted to leave my marriage. > > > > But > > > > > > >

didn't. I should have left the abusive marriage a long time > > > > ago. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Anyway, I am feeling like an emotional idiot. I don't > > > know > > > > how to > > > > > > > deal with men now. I don't know how to get back into > > > dating, > > > > > > > especially with my issues. This person I met seems really > > > > nice. He > > > > > > > completely understands anxiety disorders but I don't know how > > > > to act > > > > > > > or feel or anything. Does anyone know how to learn to get > > > > back into > > > > > > > the world. My mind is saying alot of stuff. The one thing I > > > > have > > > > > > >

learned through all this pain is to take things slow. I > > > don't > > > > ever > > > > > > > see myself married again. Because it will take me years to > > > > trust > > > > > > > someone that much. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Of course my thinking mind wants to get a book on it. I > > > > don't know > > > > > > > what to do. Especially, when someone is attracted to me and > > > > I don't > > > > > > > know how I feel. I feel like I know nothing. I love chick > > > > flicks > > > > > > > and that is not a good place to get my information on dating > > > > again. > > > > > > > LOL > > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > Any help in this area is appreciated. I know it is off the > > > > ACT > > > > > > > topic. But maybe not. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Robyn> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >> > > > > >> > > > >> > > >> > > > > > > > >> >> > >

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Hi Russ,

'maybe my level of suffering is outside of the scope of ACT...maybe

its made for people with lesser levels of anxiety/panic....'

These are thoughts too. Everyone who suffers anxiety or depression

feels beyond cure, if it wasn't like that they would not be so

depressed or anxious. Your not unique and many people have suffered

like you and recovered.

For me ACT is like playing a musical instrument. At first nothing

much happens but then it starts to work a bit and so on. So start

small, don't buy the thought that ACT won't work for you.

Kavy

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > I know this is sort of off topic but I just don't

know who

> > > > > to ask

> > > > > > > > about this stuff. I met someone on line. We have been

> > > > > talking and I

> > > > > > > > have just come through a divorce from an abusive

person. I

> > > > > was

> > > > > > > > married over 20 years even though I did have a lot of

men

> > > > > friends

> > > > > > > > over those years. My husband knew about it. And I had

some

> > > > > > > > attraction to one of them and wanted to leave my

marriage.

> > > > > But

> > > > > > > > didn't. I should have left the abusive marriage a

long time

> > > > > ago.

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > Anyway, I am feeling like an emotional idiot. I

don't

> > > > know

> > > > > how to

> > > > > > > > deal with men now. I don't know how to get back into

> > > > dating,

> > > > > > > > especially with my issues. This person I met seems

really

> > > > > nice. He

> > > > > > > > completely understands anxiety disorders but I don't

know how

> > > > > to act

> > > > > > > > or feel or anything. Does anyone know how to learn to

get

> > > > > back into

> > > > > > > > the world. My mind is saying alot of stuff. The one

thing I

> > > > > have

> > > > > > > > learned through all this pain is to take things slow.

I

> > > > don't

> > > > > ever

> > > > > > > > see myself married again. Because it will take me

years to

> > > > > trust

> > > > > > > > someone that much.

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > Of course my thinking mind wants to get a book on

it. I

> > > > > don't know

> > > > > > > > what to do. Especially, when someone is attracted to

me and

> > > > > I don't

> > > > > > > > know how I feel. I feel like I know nothing. I love

chick

> > > > > flicks

> > > > > > > > and that is not a good place to get my information on

dating

> > > > > again.

> > > > > > > > LOL

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > Any help in this area is appreciated. I know it is

off the

> > > > > ACT

> > > > > > > > topic. But maybe not.

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > Robyn

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >

>

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The harder you try to not buy into your anxiety the harder it will be to accept. Your last sentence is very revealing. Act on those things that you value, you will be accepting your anxiety and your suffering will likely diminish. That's my experience. ACT is like learning to play a musical instrument. Until you pick it up and actually start practicing it will be a very unrewarding experience.

Bill

To: ACT_for_the_Public From: russogn@...Date: Fri, 12 Dec 2008 13:57:27 -0800Subject: RE: hard time with this ACT concept

what i buy into is that my anxiety/panic is dangerous, and that its going to continue to get worse til i cant function. my anxiety is very thick and constant lately, so its very hard to just observe it with curiosity and gentleness. maybe my level of suffering is outside of the scope of ACT...maybe its made for people with lesser levels of anxiety/panic....or that i really havent gotten to the hard work of moving forward with hands and feet on values. i have things i value in my head, but i havent done the drills in the book yet. i need to do that very soon. -russ

From: robynabccomcast (DOT) net <robynabccomcast (DOT) net>Subject: Re: [ACT_for_the_ Public] Re: The Opposite Sex.To: ACT_for_the_ Public@yahoogrou ps.comDate: Friday, December 12, 2008, 1:50 PM

Thank you for that advice. :) Robyn ------------ -- Original message ------------ --------- -From: "darkestjourney" <rageforthemachine@ earthlink. net>> It did and does take a lot of work to be intimate. A lot of work,> pain, and crying. It makes me wonder if it is all worth it. Then I> imagine what the last nine years of my life would have been like if I> had just thrown in the towel and said it was too much for me to> handle. Believe me it is worth it. There are a lot of nice guys out> there. It is just sometimes were a little shy. Look for the quiet ones> and you'll never go back.:)> > > > > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > I know this is sort of off topic but I just don't know who > > > > to ask > > > > > > > about this stuff. I met someone on line. We have been > > > > talking and I > > > > > > > have just come through a divorce from an abusive person. I > > > > was > > > > > > > married over 20 years even though I did have a lot of men > > > > friends > > > > > > > over those years. My husband knew about it. And I had some > > > > > > > attraction to one of them and wanted to leave my marriage. > > > > But > > > > > > > didn't. I should have left the abusive marriage a long time > > > > ago. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Anyway, I am feeling like an emotional idiot. I don't > > > know > > > > how to > > > > > > > deal with men now. I don't know how to get back into > > > dating, > > > > > > > especially with my issues. This person I met seems really > > > > nice. He > > > > > > > completely understands anxiety disorders but I don't know how > > > > to act > > > > > > > or feel or anything. Does anyone know how to learn to get > > > > back into > > > > > > > the world. My mind is saying alot of stuff. The one thing I > > > > have > > > > > > > learned through all this pain is to take things slow. I > > > don't > > > > ever > > > > > > > see myself married again. Because it will take me years to > > > > trust > > > > > > > someone that much. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Of course my thinking mind wants to get a book on it. I > > > > don't know > > > > > > > what to do. Especially, when someone is attracted to me and > > > > I don't > > > > > > > know how I feel. I feel like I know nothing. I love chick > > > > flicks > > > > > > > and that is not a good place to get my information on dating > > > > again. > > > > > > > LOL > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Any help in this area is appreciated. I know it is off the > > > > ACT > > > > > > > topic. But maybe not. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Robyn> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >> > > > > >> > > > >> > > >> > > > > > > > >> >> > >

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Hi Bill,

That sounds like ACT in a nutshell.

Kavy

> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > I know this is sort of off topic

but I just don't know who > > > > to ask > > > > > > > about this

stuff. I met someone on line. We have been > > > > talking and I > >

> > > > > have just come through a divorce from an abusive person. I

> > > > was > > > > > > > married over 20 years even though I did

have a lot of men > > > > friends > > > > > > > over those years. My

husband knew about it. And I had some > > > > > > > attraction to one

of them and wanted to leave my marriage. > > > > But > > > > > > >

didn't. I should have left the abusive marriage a long time > > > >

ago. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Anyway, I am feeling like an

emotional idiot. I don't > > > know > > > > how to > > > > > > > deal

with men now. I don't know how to get back into > > > dating, > > > >

> > > especially with my issues. This person I met seems really > > >

> nice. He > > > > > > > completely understands anxiety disorders but

I don't know how > > > > to act > > > > > > > or feel or anything.

Does anyone know how to learn to get > > > > back into > > > > > > >

the world. My mind is saying alot of stuff. The one thing I > > > >

have > > > > > > > learned through all this pain is to take things

slow. I > > > don't > > > > ever > > > > > > > see myself married

again. Because it will take me years to > > > > trust > > > > > > >

someone that much. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Of course my

thinking mind wants to get a book on it. I > > > > don't know > > > >

> > > what to do. Especially, when someone is attracted to me and > >

> > I don't > > > > > > > know how I feel. I feel like I know

nothing. I love chick > > > > flicks > > > > > > > and that is not a

good place to get my information on dating > > > > again. > > > > > >

> LOL > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Any help in this area is

appreciated. I know it is off the > > > > ACT > > > > > > > topic.

But maybe not. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Robyn> > > > > > > >>

> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >> > > > > >> > > > >> > > >> >

> > > > > > >> >> > >

>

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thanks bill and kavy for your insights. i guess i've been dealing with anxiety/panic for so long...and have tried so many things...that trying to actually not try seems so counter intuitive. it seems immposible that there is where my salvation might lie.

-russ

From: robynabccomcast (DOT) net <robynabccomcast (DOT) net>Subject: Re: [ACT_for_the_ Public] Re: The Opposite Sex.To: ACT_for_the_ Public@yahoogrou ps.comDate: Friday, December 12, 2008, 1:50 PM

Thank you for that advice. :) Robyn ------------ -- Original message ------------ --------- -From: "darkestjourney" <rageforthemachine@ earthlink. net>> It did and does take a lot of work to be intimate. A lot of work,> pain, and crying. It makes me wonder if it is all worth it. Then I> imagine what the last nine years of my life would have been like if I> had just thrown in the towel and said it was too much for me to> handle. Believe me it is worth it. There are a lot of nice guys out> there. It is just sometimes were a little shy. Look for the quiet ones> and you'll never go back.:)> > > > > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > I know this is sort of off topic but I just don't know who > > > > to ask > > > > > > > about this stuff. I met someone on line. We have been > > > > talking and I > > > > > > > have just come through a divorce from an abusive person. I > > > > was > > > > > > > married over 20 years even though I did have a lot of men > > > > friends > > > > > > > over those years. My husband knew about it. And I had some > > > > > > > attraction to one of them and wanted to leave my marriage. > > > > But > > > >

> > > didn't. I should have left the abusive marriage a long time > > > > ago. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Anyway, I am feeling like an emotional idiot. I don't > > > know > > > > how to > > > > > > > deal with men now. I don't know how to get back into > > > dating, > > > > > > > especially with my issues. This person I met seems really > > > > nice. He > > > > > > > completely understands anxiety disorders but I don't know how > > > > to act > > > > > > > or feel or anything. Does anyone know how to learn to get > > > > back into > > > > > > > the world. My mind is saying alot of stuff. The one thing I > > > > have > > > >

> > > learned through all this pain is to take things slow. I > > > don't > > > > ever > > > > > > > see myself married again. Because it will take me years to > > > > trust > > > > > > > someone that much. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Of course my thinking mind wants to get a book on it. I > > > > don't know > > > > > > > what to do. Especially, when someone is attracted to me and > > > > I don't > > > > > > > know how I feel. I feel like I know nothing. I love chick > > > > flicks > > > > > > > and that is not a good place to get my information on dating > > > > again. > > > > > > > LOL > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > Any help in this area is appreciated. I know it is off the > > > > ACT > > > > > > > topic. But maybe not. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Robyn> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >> > > > > >> > > > >> > > >> > > > > > > > >> >> > >

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Hi Russ,

As an anxiety sufferer myself who bordered on depression only a month ago, I

took up ACT with some skepticism but figured " I've tried everything else, so I

may as well give this a go " .

I attempted to put the mindfulness and defusion exercises into practice whenever

I was alone and made an effort to live in the present moment. I soon discovered

my anxiety was easily triggered by thoughts of possible futures ( " I'll be so

anxious and look like an idiot if I go to that party tonight " ) and memories in

the past ( " Why didn't I say xxxx to that person instead of just nodding

politely " ).

By staying connected with what is happening now and just acknowledging these

unhelpful thoughts you're having (without buying into them), you're actually

taking proactive measures to prevent these thoughts from affecting your anxiety,

freeing your mind to focus on the things that really matter.

Please try the exercises and let us know how you go with them - it's done me a

world of good and I haven't looked back.

Adam

>

> From: robynabccomcast (DOT) net <robynabccomcast (DOT) net>

> Subject: Re: [ACT_for_the_ Public] Re: The Opposite Sex.

> To: ACT_for_the_ Public@yahoogrou ps.com

> Date: Friday, December 12, 2008, 1:50 PM

>

>

>

> Thank you for that advice. :)

>

> Robyn

> ------------ -- Original message ------------ --------- -

> From: " darkestjourney " <rageforthemachine@

> earthlink. net>

> > It did and does take a lot of work to be intimate. A

> lot of work,

> > pain, and crying. It makes me wonder if it is all

> worth it. Then I

> > imagine what the last nine years of my life would have

> been like if I

> > had just thrown in the towel and said it was too much

> for me to

> > handle. Believe me it is worth it. There are a lot of

> nice guys out

> > there. It is just sometimes were a little shy. Look

> for the quiet ones

> > and you'll never go back.:)

> >

> >

> >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > I know this is sort

> of off topic but I just don't know who

> > > > > to ask

> > > > > > > > about this stuff. I met

> someone on line. We have been

> > > > > talking and I

> > > > > > > > have just come through a

> divorce from an abusive person. I

> > > > > was

> > > > > > > > married over 20 years

> even though I did have a lot of men

> > > > > friends

> > > > > > > > over those years. My

> husband knew about it. And I had some

> > > > > > > > attraction to one of

> them and wanted to leave my marriage.

> > > > > But

> > > > > > > > didn't. I should

> have left the abusive marriage a long time

> > > > > ago.

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > Anyway, I am

> feeling like an emotional idiot. I don't

> > > > know

> > > > > how to

> > > > > > > > deal with men now. I

> don't know how to get back into

> > > > dating,

> > > > > > > > especially with my

> issues. This person I met seems really

> > > > > nice. He

> > > > > > > > completely understands

> anxiety disorders but I don't know how

> > > > > to act

> > > > > > > > or feel or anything.

> Does anyone know how to learn to get

> > > > > back into

> > > > > > > > the world. My mind is

> saying alot of stuff. The one thing I

> > > > > have

> > > > > > > > learned through all this

> pain is to take things slow. I

> > > > don't

> > > > > ever

> > > > > > > > see myself married

> again. Because it will take me years to

> > > > > trust

> > > > > > > > someone that much.

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > Of course my

> thinking mind wants to get a book on it. I

> > > > > don't know

> > > > > > > > what to do. Especially,

> when someone is attracted to me and

> > > > > I don't

> > > > > > > > know how I feel. I feel

> like I know nothing. I love chick

> > > > > flicks

> > > > > > > > and that is not a good

> place to get my information on dating

> > > > > again.

> > > > > > > > LOL

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > Any help in this

> area is appreciated. I know it is off the

> > > > > ACT

> > > > > > > > topic. But maybe not.

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > Robyn

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >

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Hi Russ

I can't stop myself thinking that my axiety is worse than everyone else's but it's a big, big mistale to believe it

LOL

ivor

Re: [ACT_for_the_ Public] Re: The Opposite Sex.To: ACT_for_the_ Public@yahoogrou ps.comDate: Friday, December 12, 2008, 1:50 PM

Thank you for that advice. :) Robyn ------------ -- Original message ------------ --------- -From: "darkestjourney" <rageforthemachine@ earthlink. net>> It did and does take a lot of work to be intimate. A lot of work,> pain, and crying. It makes me wonder if it is all worth it. Then I> imagine what the last nine years of my life would have been like if I> had just thrown in the towel and said it was too much for me to> handle. Believe me it is worth it. There are a lot of nice guys out> there. It is just sometimes were a little shy. Look for the quiet ones> and you'll never go back.:)> > > > > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > I know this is sort of off topic but I just don't know who > > > > to ask > > > > > > > about this stuff. I met someone on line. We have been > > > > talking and I > > > > > > > have just come through a divorce from an abusive person. I > > > > was > > > > > > > married over 20 years even though I did have a lot of men > > > > friends > > > > > > > over those years. My husband knew about it. And I had some > > > > > > > attraction to one of them and wanted to leave my marriage. > > > > But > > > > > > > didn't. I should have left the abusive marriage a long time > > > > ago. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Anyway, I am feeling like an emotional idiot. I don't > > > know > > > > how to > > > > > > > deal with men now. I don't know how to get back into > > > dating, > > > > > > > especially with my issues. This person I met seems really > > > > nice. He > > > > > > > completely understands anxiety disorders but I don't know how > > > > to act > > > > > > > or feel or anything. Does anyone know how to learn to get > > > > back into > > > > > > > the world. My mind is saying alot of stuff. The one thing I > > > > have > > > > > > > learned through all this pain is to take things slow. I > > > don't > > > > ever > > > > > > > see myself married again. Because it will take me years to > > > > trust > > > > > > > someone that much. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Of course my thinking mind wants to get a book on it. I > > > > don't know > > > > > > > what to do. Especially, when someone is attracted to me and > > > > I don't > > > > > > > know how I feel. I feel like I know nothing. I love chick > > > > flicks > > > > > > > and that is not a good place to get my information on dating > > > > again. > > > > > > > LOL > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Any help in this area is appreciated. I know it is off the > > > > ACT > > > > > > > topic. But maybe not. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Robyn> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >> > > > > >> > > > >> > > >> > > > > > > > >> >> > >

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This is great encouragement, Adam. I've been having several good days and had a bad one yesterday. I'm throwing a party tonight and would like to enjoy it for a change.Thanks for your words.  They make sense to me. It's just really dBruceHi Russ,As an anxiety sufferer myself who bordered on depression only a month ago, I took up ACT with some skepticism but figured "I've tried everything else, so I may as well give this a go".I attempted to put the mindfulness and defusion exercises into practice whenever I was alone and made an effort to live in the present moment. I soon discovered my anxiety was easily triggered by thoughts of possible futures ("I'll be so anxious and look like an idiot if I go to that party tonight") and memories in the past ("Why didn't I say xxxx to that person instead of just nodding politely").By staying connected with what is happening now and just acknowledging these unhelpful thoughts you're having (without buying into them), you're actually taking proactive measures to prevent these thoughts from affecting your anxiety, freeing your mind to focus on the things that really matter. Please try the exercises and let us know how you go with them - it's done me a world of good and I haven't looked back.Adam> > From: robynabccomcast (DOT) net <robynabccomcast (DOT) net>> Subject: Re: [ACT_for_the_ Public] Re: The Opposite Sex.> To: ACT_for_the_ Public@yahoogrou ps.com> Date: Friday, December 12, 2008, 1:50 PM> > > > Thank you for that advice. :) > > Robyn > ------------ -- Original message ------------ --------- -> From: "darkestjourney" <rageforthemachine@> earthlink. net>> > It did and does take a lot of work to be intimate. A> lot of work,> > pain, and crying. It makes me wonder if it is all> worth it. Then I> > imagine what the last nine years of my life would have> been like if I> > had just thrown in the towel and said it was too much> for me to> > handle. Believe me it is worth it. There are a lot of> nice guys out> > there. It is just sometimes were a little shy. Look> for the quiet ones> > and you'll never go back.:)> > > > > > > > > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > I know this is sort> of off topic but I just don't know who > > > > > to ask > > > > > > > > about this stuff. I met> someone on line. We have been > > > > > talking and I > > > > > > > > have just come through a> divorce from an abusive person. I > > > > > was > > > > > > > > married over 20 years> even though I did have a lot of men > > > > > friends > > > > > > > > over those years. My> husband knew about it. And I had some > > > > > > > > attraction to one of> them and wanted to leave my marriage. > > > > > But > > > > > > > > didn't. I should> have left the abusive marriage a long time > > > > > ago. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Anyway, I am> feeling like an emotional idiot. I don't > > > > know > > > > > how to > > > > > > > > deal with men now. I> don't know how to get back into > > > > dating, > > > > > > > > especially with my> issues. This person I met seems really > > > > > nice. He > > > > > > > > completely understands> anxiety disorders but I don't know how > > > > > to act > > > > > > > > or feel or anything.> Does anyone know how to learn to get > > > > > back into > > > > > > > > the world. My mind is> saying alot of stuff. The one thing I > > > > > have > > > > > > > > learned through all this> pain is to take things slow. I > > > > don't > > > > > ever > > > > > > > > see myself married> again. Because it will take me years to > > > > > trust > > > > > > > > someone that much. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Of course my> thinking mind wants to get a book on it. I > > > > > don't know > > > > > > > > what to do. Especially,> when someone is attracted to me and > > > > > I don't > > > > > > > > know how I feel. I feel> like I know nothing. I love chick > > > > > flicks > > > > > > > > and that is not a good> place to get my information on dating > > > > > again. > > > > > > > > LOL > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Any help in this> area is appreciated. I know it is off the > > > > > ACT > > > > > > > > topic. But maybe not. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Robyn> > > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >> > > > > > >> > > > > >> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >> > >> > > > > >Start your day with Yahoo!7 and win a Sony Bravia TV. Enter now http://au.docs.yahoo.com/homepageset/?p1=other & p2=au & p3=tagline

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Adam, great post. That is exactly what mindfulness is about. Even though I

have to remind myself of this over and over still.

Robyn

--------- Re: [ACT_for_the_ Public] Re: The Opposite Sex.

> > > To: ACT_for_the_ Public@yahoogrou ps.com

> > > Date: Friday, December 12, 2008, 1:50 PM

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > Thank you for that advice. :)

> > >

> > > Robyn

> > > ------------ -- Original message ------------ --------- -

> > > From: " darkestjourney " <rageforthemachine@

> > > earthlink. net>

> > > > It did and does take a lot of work to be intimate. A

> > > lot of work,

> > > > pain, and crying. It makes me wonder if it is all

> > > worth it. Then I

> > > > imagine what the last nine years of my life would have

> > > been like if I

> > > > had just thrown in the towel and said it was too much

> > > for me to

> > > > handle. Believe me it is worth it. There are a lot of

> > > nice guys out

> > > > there. It is just sometimes were a little shy. Look

> > > for the quiet ones

> > > > and you'll never go back.:)

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > > > > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > I know this is sort> of off topic but I just don't know who > > > > > to ask > > > > > > > > about this stuff. I met> someone on line. We have been > > > > > talking and I > > > > > > > > have just come through a> divorce from an abusive person. I > > > > > was > > > > > > > > married over 20 years> even though I did have a lot of men > > > > > friends > > > > > > > > over those years. My> husband knew about it. And I had some > > > > > > > > attraction to one of> them and wanted to leave my marriage. > > > > > But > > > > > > > > didn't. I should> have left the abusive marriage a long time > > > > > ago. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Anyway, I am> feeling like an emotional idiot. I don't > > > > know > > > > > how to > > > > > > > > deal with men now. I> don't know how to get back into > > > > dating, > > > > > > > > especially with my> issues. This person I met seems really > > > > > nice. He > > > > > > > > completely understands> anxiety disorders but I don't know how > > > > > to act > > > > > > > > or feel or anything.> Does anyone know how to learn to get > > > > > back into > > > > > > > > the world. My mind is> saying alot of stuff. The one thing I > > > > > have > > > > > > > > learned through all this> pain is to take things slow. I > > > > don't > > > > > ever > > > > > > > > see myself married> again. Because it will take me years to > > > > > trust > > > > > > > > someone that much. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Of course my> thinking mind wants to get a book on it. I > > > > > don't know > > > > > > > > what to do. Especially,> when someone is attracted to me and > > > > > I don't > > > > > > > > know how I feel. I feel> like I know nothing. I love chick > > > > > flicks > > > > > > > > and that is not a good> place to get my information on dating > > > > > again. > > > > > > > > LOL > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Any help in this> area is appreciated. I know it is off the > > > > > ACT > > > > > > > > topic. But maybe not. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Robyn> > > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >> > > > > > >> > > > > >> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >> > >> > > > > >Start your day with Yahoo!7 and win a Sony Bravia TV. Enter now http://au.docs.yahoo.com/homepageset/?p1=other & p2=au & p3=tagline

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Hi Ivor,

I feel the same way about my anxiety and troubles and I think that is what keeps

me stuck. When I start thinking that way I try to remember that we all have

issues and do the best that we can. I remember not too long ago that many

others on this list that have anxiety have the same fear of mental illness that

I have. I thought mine was from an other reason and it helped to feel connected

in that way to everyone here. And made me feel less isolated.

Robyn

--------- Re: [ACT_for_the_ Public] Re: The Opposite Sex.

> To: ACT_for_the_ Public@yahoogrou ps.com

> Date: Friday, December 12, 2008, 1:50 PM

>

>

> Thank you for that advice. :)

>

> Robyn

> ------------ -- Original message ------------ --------- -

> From: " darkestjourney " <rageforthemachine@ earthlink. net>

> > It did and does take a lot of work to be intimate. A lot

of

> work,

> > pain, and crying. It makes me wonder if it is all worth

it.

> Then I

> > imagine what the last nine years of my life would have

been

> like if I

> > had just thrown in the towel and said it was too much for

me

> to

> > handle. Believe me it is worth it. There are a lot of nice

> guys out

> > there. It is just sometimes were a little shy. Look for

the

> quiet ones

> > and you'll never go back.:)

> >

> >

> > > > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > I know this is sort of off topic but I just don't know who > > > > to ask > > > > > > > about this stuff. I met someone on line. We have been > > > > talking and I > > > > > > > have just come through a divorce from an abusive person. I > > > > was > > > > > > > married over 20 years even though I did have a lot of men > > > > friends > > > > > > > over those years. My husband knew about it. And I had some > > > > > > > attraction to one of them and wanted to leave my marriage. > > > > But > > > > > > > didn't. I should have left the abusive marriage a long time > > > > ago. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Anyway, I am feeling like an emotional idiot. I don't > > > know > > > > how to > > > > > > > deal with men now. I don't know how to get back into > > > dating, > > > > > > > especially with my issues. This person I met seems really > > > > nice. He > > > > > > > completely understands anxiety disorders but I don't know how > > > > to act > > > > > > > or feel or anything. Does anyone know how to learn to get > > > > back into > > > > > > > the world. My mind is saying alot of stuff. The one thing I > > > > have > > > > > > > learned through all this pain is to take things slow. I > > > don't > > > > ever > > > > > > > see myself married again. Because it will take me years to > > > > trust > > > > > > > someone that much. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Of course my thinking mind wants to get a book on it. I > > > > don't know > > > > > > > what to do. Especially, when someone is attracted to me and > > > > I don't > > > > > > > know how I feel. I feel like I know nothing. I love chick > > > > flicks > > > > > > > and that is not a good place to get my information on dating > > > > again. > > > > > > > LOL > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Any help in this area is appreciated. I know it is off the > > > > ACT > > > > > > > topic. But maybe not. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Robyn> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >> > > > > >> > > > >> > > >> > > > > > > > >> >> > >

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Sorry, I hit send too soon. Anyway...I'm having a heck of a time with the present moment. i was at a high school basketball game last night and there was plenty to notice but I still had enough of my brain available to feel anxious/fearful.This morning i was coaching basketball and was mindful to some small degree. Again, i feel like the "normal" person would have been able to enjoy the morning without the churning of the stomach. i feel like all these things are in line with my values and I keep practicing them but I still feel a tremendous disconnect.And I'm also extremely tired/sleepy after 8 hours sleep.Thanks,BruceThis is great encouragement, Adam. I've been having several good days and had a bad one yesterday. I'm throwing a party tonight and would like to enjoy it for a change.Thanks for your words.  They make sense to me. It's just really dBruceHi Russ,As an anxiety sufferer myself who bordered on depression only a month ago, I took up ACT with some skepticism but figured "I've tried everything else, so I may as well give this a go".I attempted to put the mindfulness and defusion exercises into practice whenever I was alone and made an effort to live in the present moment. I soon discovered my anxiety was easily triggered by thoughts of possible futures ("I'll be so anxious and look like an idiot if I go to that party tonight") and memories in the past ("Why didn't I say xxxx to that person instead of just nodding politely").By staying connected with what is happening now and just acknowledging these unhelpful thoughts you're having (without buying into them), you're actually taking proactive measures to prevent these thoughts from affecting your anxiety, freeing your mind to focus on the things that really matter. Please try the exercises and let us know how you go with them - it's done me a world of good and I haven't looked back.Adam> > From: robynabccomcast (DOT) net <robynabccomcast (DOT) net>> Subject: Re: [ACT_for_the_ Public] Re: The Opposite Sex.> To: ACT_for_the_ Public@yahoogrou ps.com> Date: Friday, December 12, 2008, 1:50 PM> > > > Thank you for that advice. :) > > Robyn > ------------ -- Original message ------------ --------- -> From: "darkestjourney" <rageforthemachine@> earthlink. net>> > It did and does take a lot of work to be intimate. A> lot of work,> > pain, and crying. It makes me wonder if it is all> worth it. Then I> > imagine what the last nine years of my life would have> been like if I> > had just thrown in the towel and said it was too much> for me to> > handle. Believe me it is worth it. There are a lot of> nice guys out> > there. It is just sometimes were a little shy. Look> for the quiet ones> > and you'll never go back.:)> > > > > > > > > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > I know this is sort> of off topic but I just don't know who > > > > > to ask > > > > > > > > about this stuff. I met> someone on line. We have been > > > > > talking and I > > > > > > > > have just come through a> divorce from an abusive person. I > > > > > was > > > > > > > > married over 20 years> even though I did have a lot of men > > > > > friends > > > > > > > > over those years. My> husband knew about it. And I had some > > > > > > > > attraction to one of> them and wanted to leave my marriage. > > > > > But > > > > > > > > didn't. I should> have left the abusive marriage a long time > > > > > ago. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Anyway, I am> feeling like an emotional idiot. I don't > > > > know > > > > > how to > > > > > > > > deal with men now. I> don't know how to get back into > > > > dating, > > > > > > > > especially with my> issues. This person I met seems really > > > > > nice. He > > > > > > > > completely understands> anxiety disorders but I don't know how > > > > > to act > > > > > > > > or feel or anything.> Does anyone know how to learn to get > > > > > back into > > > > > > > > the world. My mind is> saying alot of stuff. The one thing I > > > > > have > > > > > > > > learned through all this> pain is to take things slow. I > > > > don't > > > > > ever > > > > > > > > see myself married> again. Because it will take me years to > > > > > trust > > > > > > > > someone that much. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Of course my> thinking mind wants to get a book on it. I > > > > > don't know > > > > > > > > what to do. Especially,> when someone is attracted to me and > > > > > I don't > > > > > > > > know how I feel. I feel> like I know nothing. I love chick > > > > > flicks > > > > > > > > and that is not a good> place to get my information on dating > > > > > again. > > > > > > > > LOL > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Any help in this> area is appreciated. I know it is off the > > > > > ACT > > > > > > > > topic. But maybe not. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Robyn> > > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >> > > > > > >> > > > > >> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >> > >> > > > > >Start your day with Yahoo!7 and win a Sony Bravia TV. Enter now http://au.docs.yahoo.com/homepageset/?p1=other & p2=au & p3=tagline

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Hi Russ:I'm with you on that one. I'm doing an annual party tonight, which reminded me that a year later, I'm still about the same. Am I that hard a case? I've been battling these demons for 10 years now.I haven't been doing ACT for a year but I have been doing CBT and taking meds. Though I've had a lot of good experiences, I could count the good days emotionally on  two hands. And the fear of tomorrow's fear is always there. I guess that's not being in the moment. But I don't seem to find much peace in the moment.Thanks,Brucethanks bill and kavy for your insights. i guess i've been dealing with anxiety/panic for so long...and have tried so many things...that trying to actually not try seems so counter intuitive. it seems immposible that there is where my salvation might lie.  -russ--- On Fri, 12/12/08, BILL CAMERON <wcameromsn> wrote:From: BILL CAMERON <wcameromsn>Subject: RE: hard time with this ACT conceptTo: "ACT_for_the_Public" <act_for_the_public >Date: Friday, December 12, 2008, 5:27 PMThe harder you try to not buy into your anxiety the harder it will be to accept. Your last sentence is very revealing. Act on those things that you value, you will be accepting your anxiety and your suffering will likely diminish. That's my experience. ACT is like learning to play a musical instrument. Until you pick it up and actually start practicing it will be a very unrewarding experience. BillTo: ACT_for_the_ Public@yahoogrou ps.comFrom: russognyahoo (DOT) comDate: Fri, 12 Dec 2008 13:57:27 -0800Subject: RE: [ACT_for_the_ Public] hard time with this ACT conceptwhat i buy into is that my anxiety/panic is dangerous, and that its going to continue to get worse til i cant function. my anxiety is very thick and constant lately, so its very hard to just observe it with curiosity and gentleness. maybe my level of suffering is outside of the scope of ACT...maybe its made for people with lesser levels of anxiety/panic. ...or that i really havent gotten to the hard work of moving forward with hands and feet on values. i have things i value in my head, but i havent done the drills in the book yet. i need to do that very soon. -russ--- On Fri, 12/12/08, BILL CAMERON <wcameromsn (DOT) com> wrote:From: BILL CAMERON <wcameromsn (DOT) com>Subject: RE: [ACT_for_the_ Public] hard time with this ACT conceptTo: "ACT_for_the_ Public" <act_for_the_ public@yahoogrou ps.com>Date: Friday, December 12, 2008, 3:10 PMRuss - The secret is to practice the exercises in any of the official ACT books. Acceptance of thoughts and feelings is not a thinking process. It's a doing process. Instead of being preoccupied with the thoughts and feelings and trying to think your way out of them, you move ahead with your hands and feet towards a VALUED LIFE. Valued life implies you have done the values work that is an integral part of ACT. The Happiness Trap by Russ is an excellent "how to" book. It helped me actually implement ACT concepts once I had intellectualized them from other excellent ACT books. Practice, practice, practice, so you are ready when you really need to be able to invoke ACT in the clinch. BillTo: ACT_for_the_ Public@yahoogrou ps.comFrom: russognyahoo (DOT) comDate: Fri, 12 Dec 2008 11:58:58 -0800Subject: [ACT_for_the_ Public] hard time with this ACT conceptanyone else find it really difficult to accept thoughts and feelings, as just thoughts and feelings, and not what your brain tells you it is? i find this ACT concept really hard to follow. anyone have any tips for getting better at this? -russ--- On Fri, 12/12/08, robynabccomcast (DOT) net <robynabccomcast (DOT) net> wrote:From: robynabccomcast (DOT) net <robynabccomcast (DOT) net>Subject: Re: [ACT_for_the_ Public] Re: The Opposite Sex.To: ACT_for_the_ Public@yahoogrou ps.comDate: Friday, December 12, 2008, 1:50 PMThank you for that advice. :) Robyn ------------ -- Original message ------------ --------- -From: "darkestjourney" <rageforthemachine@ earthlink. net>> It did and does take a lot of work to be intimate. A lot of work,> pain, and crying. It makes me wonder if it is all worth it. Then I> imagine what the last nine years of my life would have been like if I> had just thrown in the towel and said it was too much for me to> handle. Believe me it is worth it. There are a lot of nice guys out> there. It is just sometimes were a little shy. Look for the quiet ones> and you'll never go back.:)> > > > > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > I know this is sort of off topic but I just don't know who > > > > to ask > > > > > > > about this stuff. I met someone on line. We have been > > > > talking and I > > > > > > > have just come through a divorce from an abusive person. I > > > > was > > > > > > > married over 20 years even though I did have a lot of men > > > > friends > > > > > > > over those years. My husband knew about it. And I had some > > > > > > > attraction to one of them and wanted to leave my marriage. > > > > But > > > > > > > didn't. I should have left the abusive marriage a long time > > > > ago. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Anyway, I am feeling like an emotional idiot. I don't > > > know > > > > how to > > > > > > > deal with men now. I don't know how to get back into > > > dating, > > > > > > > especially with my issues. This person I met seems really > > > > nice. He > > > > > > > completely understands anxiety disorders but I don't know how > > > > to act > > > > > > > or feel or anything. Does anyone know how to learn to get > > > > back into > > > > > > > the world. My mind is saying alot of stuff. The one thing I > > > > have > > > > > > > learned through all this pain is to take things slow. I > > > don't > > > > ever > > > > > > > see myself married again. Because it will take me years to > > > > trust > > > > > > > someone that much. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Of course my thinking mind wants to get a book on it. I > > > > don't know > > > > > > > what to do. Especially, when someone is attracted to me and > > > > I don't > > > > > > > know how I feel. I feel like I know nothing. I love chick > > > > flicks > > > > > > > and that is not a good place to get my information on dating > > > > again. > > > > > > > LOL > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Any help in this area is appreciated. I know it is off the > > > > ACT > > > > > > > topic. But maybe not. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Robyn> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >> > > > > >> > > > >> > > >> > > > > > > > >> >> > > 

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I think you have a problem with acceptance. In my case I'm extremely

paranoid. Add this to my low self esteem and it makes for a hot mess.

At work I feel my coworkers are gesturing and literally making faces

behind my back. But these are feelings. I'm a little intimidating

looking and am known to have a short temper, so I doubt these feeling

are really true, but I can't shake them.

So I've learned to accept them, defuse them and move towards my

values. I'm not the happiest camper in the woods, but a least I'm camping.

Moving toward my values doesn't necessarily make me happy, but when

I'm doing certain committed actions, I'm so busy and I forget to be

paranoid or socially anxious. But it all starts with accepting the

fact that I am paranoid and suffer from social anxiety. For me, these

problems will probably never go away.

And I have to ACCEPT the fact that I'll probably never be a starting

player on an NBA team, and that's really depressing but it doesn't

stop me from doing OTHER things I value.

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