Guest guest Posted October 18, 2006 Report Share Posted October 18, 2006 Hi everybody... Just thought I'd give you all an update on my comings and goings. I've been A-OK emotionally most days about mom. I do have my moments, especially on Sundays, but I do have to say that I'm surprised at how well I've been taking mom's death. I think there's a few reasons for that: I had already begun grieving for mom when she first went into the nursing home in Nov. 2005; I know and sense her happiness now that she's in heaven - she was always very religious and I know that she's with her God in heaven and she's joyous of that; I know she's no longer afflicted w/ LBD and out of a wheelchair now - dancing up there on the clouds; and I know that she's with me every waking moment in spirit as I continue my life on Earth. I'm back to work and I'm enjoying my new job. I don't miss the constant " crises " of the old job at all, it's been a huge weight lifted off my shoulders since I left the old job. The new job keeps me busy, but come 5 PM I can leave there and the job there and go home... I worked out for the first time on Monday in the gym at my job. I'll be working out before work on Monday, Wednesday and Thursday. It felt real good to work out and it's been long overdue. My SO started his workouts too. We've been so out of shape for far too long... I'm keeping busy doing what I do for the charity auction that I'm chairperson for. I like the fact that I have some useful task to keep my mind engaged, but not too much to become overwhelming. You can see the online portion of the auction here: http://www.cheersforchildren.cmarket.com My latest task is to write to all of mom's friends from overseas and in other states b/c there are still many who don't know... I'm able to write a short note and enclose a copy of that great article about her. I'm reading a new book to help me with grieving called " The Orphaned Adult " (what drama LOL) by Levy, but it is an extremely odd feeling to once be the child of so & so and now after both parents are gone, the feeling of lonliness can be overwhelming -- even w/ siblings and a SO -- the feeling of being 'cut off' from the world is something to get used to. I've asked that mom visit me in my dreams to let me know that she's OK... but never seem to remember my dreams when I awaken, so don't know if she's visiting or not. But I do get chills when the sky is full of these big fluffy moving clouds b/c I picture her up there dancing and being absolutly elated that she's in Heaven. I did call that dance teacher of mine who was a colleague of my moms - the one who just recently moved into Assisted Living in my neighborhood, no less. And plan on visiting her soon... I decided that I'd visit once and see what it does to me emotionally. If we both get positive results in the visit than I'll be there for her. I haven't been great in responding on the board lately... it seems I don't know the answers to help anyone... I have been lurking daily though - and soon I'll jump back on board... Thanks again to all of you -- your words helped me so much, you don't even know how much... I'll shorten my signature in the future - but for now... ; loving daughter of Maureen of Boston, MA; finally diagnosed with LBD on 2/2006 after also being diagnosed with everything from AD to Vascular Dementia caused by mini strokes to Binswengers...; was victim to rapid decline from Risperidone (or combination of Risperidone with other drugs OR possibly received another " bad drug " when she was observed/tested in a hospital in 10/2005); in a NH since 11/2005. From 4/2006 was on antidepressant Celexa, 20mg (still teary, but not as weepy); from 4/21/06 was on Exelon (a/o 6/28/06 began following the suggested dosage for LBD); as of 7/1 went on ALA (200 mg) and B1. Since mid-July 2006 mom was once again engaged in conversations and we shared laughs during every visit (NARANJA!). Mom became my Guardian Angel on Sept. 30th, 2006 -- she had seizures that last day -- not sure if it was LBD related or something to do w/ kidney failure or UTIs... May mumsie rest in peace... " Shall we dance? One, two, three and? On a bright cloud of music shall we fly? One, two, three and? " Visit the LBDCaregivers board on the web: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/LBDcaregivers/ (See files, suggested links, databases, photos of members, and search previous posts) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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