(No subject)

July 19, 2002

Normi, you belong with us and in our hearts. Love Mom Kay

-- (no subject)

I sit here and and think, give up the fight,I feel this is my human right.I feel alone and in despair,I cannot find relief anywhere.Why must one suffer in so much pain,tears flooding the land like much needed rain.I search and struggle with all my might,While I sit here and think in the dim light.How much can a soul begin to take,before their spirit begins to break.My mind is whirring like a giant top,I can no longer make it slow down or stop.trust is now on some dusty shelf,I wonder if I can trust myself.I prayed and hoped for an anwer,but feel like I am being consumed like an out of control cancer.I think of my life,full of loss and heartache,where I bare many scars of earth shattering heartbreak.My mistakes are large, my regrets are huge,must be why my mind finds no refuge.I used to be strong and full of wit,now I wish I could just check out and quit.I am tired and broken now, like a toy,I am feeling numb, I feel no joy.No one listens, nor do they hear,I am feeling out of control and giving in to fear.I do not know where my life is now going,but the signs of overwhelming pain are truly showing.I cannot pull out of this deep despair,I do not belong anywhere.Normi*"The LUPIES Store" Come check out our store...http://www.cafepress.com/thelupies"The LUPIES Web Page"http://www.itzarion.com/lupusgroup.html"The LUPIES online photo albums!" Check out what your fellow Lupies look like...http://www.picturetrail.com/gallery/view?username=lupies

July 26, 2002

(no subject)

1.WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX? (because they are plugged into a genius) 2.WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING FOREPLAY? (they don't have enough time) 3.WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG? (they don't stop to ask directions) 4.WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH? (because a vibrator can't mow the lawn) 5.WHY DON'T WOMEN HAVE MEN'S BRAINS? (because they don't have penises to put them in) 6.WHAT DO ELECTRIC TRAINS AND BREASTS HAVE IN COMMON (they're intended for children, but men usually play with them) 7.WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS? (because their balls fall over their assholes and they vapor lock) You're laughing, aren't you? 8.WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS? (so they won't hump women's legs at cocktail parties) 9.WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN? (you need a rough draft before you make the perfect final copy) 10.WHY IS A MAN'S PEE YELLOW AND HIS SPERM WHITE? (so he can tell if he's coming or going) 11.HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN? (it's never happened)

August 9, 2002

In a message dated 8/9/2002 10:03:59 AM Eastern Daylight Time, Tpikecarol writes:

Things That Happen In a Doctorâ€™s Office

A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby in

the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's

dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that

there were several cabs, and I was in the wrong one. Dr. Mark Mac,

San , TX

At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and

slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big breaths," I

instructed. "Yes, they used to be," remorsed the patient. Dr.

Byrnes, Seattle, WA

One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her

husband had died of a massive myocardial infarction. Not more than five

minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he

had died of a "massive internal fart." Dr. Steinberg, Manitoba,

Canada

I was performing a complete physical, including the visual acuity test.

I placed the patient twenty feet from the chart and began, "Cover your

right eye with your hand." He read the 20/20 line perfectly. "Now your

left." Again, a flawless read. "Now both," I requested. There was

silence. He couldn't even read the large E on the top line. I turned and

discovered that he had done exactly what I had asked; he was standing

there with both his eyes covered. I was laughing too hard to finish the

exam. Dr. Theodropolous, Worcester, MA

During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his

cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with one of

his medications. "Which one?" I asked. "The patch. The nurse told me to

put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of places to

put it!" I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't

see... Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now the

instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one. Dr.

St. Clair, Norfolk, VA

While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, "How long

have you been bedridden?" After a look of complete confusion she

answered... "Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was alive."

Dr. Swanson, Corvallis, OR

I was caring for a woman from Kentucky and asked, "So how was your

breakfast this morning?" "It was very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly.

I can't seem to get used to the taste," the patient replied. I then

asked to see the jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled "KY

Jelly." Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit, MI

A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room, when a young woman with

purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of

tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered. It was quickly determined that

the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate

surgery. When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the

staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it

there was a tattoo that read, "Keep off the grass." Once the surgery was

completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's dressing,

which said "Sorry, had to mow the lawn."

Deborah