Guest guest Posted January 30, 2012 Report Share Posted January 30, 2012 I've taken things day by day, trying to focus on that little bit of light. The light of hope, of better tomorrows. When the bad days come I try to tell myself things could be worse. To keep fight my children & grand child. To find that happy medium, where things may not be perfect, but manageable. This last week has been very rough however. I feel like my life is nothing more than senseless doctors and medication. Filed for disability and trying to fill out all the paperwork as it comes my way. Work 10-12 hours a week to try to help out financially even though I know it's not enough. Things have. Even strained. Etween me & my husband. I know he is working hard. More than his fair share at work and home. I have just been feeling like he is starting to resent me or is just all be one too much for him to handle. I don't know, maybe he doesn't really feel that way and it's just all the guilt I feel for being such a burden. Maybe it is just me. And that makes me feel even more empty and alone. It's days like these that I just want to take ever pill I have and just go to sleep.... But I need to keep holding on, if not for myself then for my daughter. Need to focus on something very close to me. Keep the picture small. That's what I need to do right now. To get through this moment. This minute. This hour. Focus on her and how much she needs me and how much it would damage her if I was no longer here. No need to worry every one, I will be ok. I will get through today. I just wanted to share my thoughts and feelings. These dark moments are rough. And if there someone else out there feelings this way - today, tomorrow... Know that you are not alone. I am here. Debbie Decompression 7/18/11, TCS 11/21/11, fibromyalgia, myofascial pain syndrome, and in process of confirming dysautonomia and what form. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 30, 2012 Report Share Posted January 30, 2012 Debra~ I know we've all had very long days and even longer weeks with frustration conditions that seem to never end. One thing i do know from personal experance, if a spouse gets tired of us they will find a way out without taking that second job! If your husband is doing everything possable to make it work then you are super lucky and rejoice in your blessing! Please never think there is no option in our lives! We have many and supporting each other and teach new life skills to help acquire coping mecnesmes on these difficult days! Please do not give up! You have so much to offer! You are never alone, and i know your husband would cry if he ever read you e-mail! He needs you! Bea NYC/NJ Sent from my iPhone > I've taken things day by day, trying to focus on that little bit of light. The light of hope, of better tomorrows. When the bad days come I try to tell myself things could be worse. To keep fight my children & grand child. To find that happy medium, where things may not be perfect, but manageable. > This last week has been very rough however. I feel like my life is nothing more than senseless doctors and medication. Filed for disability and trying to fill out all the paperwork as it comes my way. Work 10-12 hours a week to try to help out financially even though I know it's not enough. Things have. Even strained. Etween me & my husband. I know he is working hard. More than his fair share at work and home. I have just been feeling like he is starting to resent me or is just all be one too much for him to handle. I don't know, maybe he doesn't really feel that way and it's just all the guilt I feel for being such a burden. Maybe it is just me. And that makes me feel even more empty and alone. > It's days like these that I just want to take ever pill I have and just go to sleep.... > But I need to keep holding on, if not for myself then for my daughter. Need to focus on something very close to me. Keep the picture small. That's what I need to do right now. To get through this moment. This minute. This hour. Focus on her and how much she needs me and how much it would damage her if I was no longer here. > > No need to worry every one, I will be ok. I will get through today. > I just wanted to share my thoughts and feelings. These dark moments are rough. And if there someone else out there feelings this way - today, tomorrow... Know that you are not alone. I am here. > Debbie > > Decompression 7/18/11, TCS 11/21/11, fibromyalgia, myofascial pain syndrome, and in process of confirming dysautonomia and what form. > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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