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Dad's behaviors shaping Nada? (was Re: BPD Gene)

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> My therapist did suggest that I could start to improve my own

>situation by changing how I respond to her. Right now though we're

>in the backlash, the period of time where I've changed my behavior

>to not always give her what she wants, and she is stepping up her

>attacks.

I have been there done that. She was very anxious and troubled when

my responses changed. I refused to argue with her. I set limits like

standing and telling her I was leaving when she started to raise her

voice and accuse me of something. I think our arguments made her feel

alive and in control. I just won't do it any more. Finally, we

reached a point where she quit telling me many of her crazy thoughts

and loaded it all onto my two sisters. It became possible for me to

call her daily because I could control the conversation and keep it

within 10 minutes or so. I felt like I was finally having some power

over my own life. For the most part my end of it has improved, but

there are still days its wears on me and I question myself. That's

when I get back into my books. I am rereading Surviving a Borderline

Parent right now. I have to keep myself on track. But the payoff is

worth it. Dee

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