A recent episode with Nada's at psych doctor (sorry....kind of long)

[Guest guest]

Ok....so my brother...who is Bi-Polar, ADHD, BPD (recently diagnosed) along

with problems with alcohol and drug abuse is going to this psychologist now.

..court ordered of course....this is actually his 5th one, and he is now with

a " doctor " that is being paid by my BPD parents.....i'm not even going to

get into all the reasons why...all of you out there with a nada knows how

this goes....they always find someone they can manipulate and help them with

their distortion campaign. Anyway...I get this phone call...there was

another legal run-in with my brother and my mother (who live in the same

house) AGAIN and now NADA is going to counseling to " help " my brother.

Since her presence seems to " agitate " my brother, I was asked to come in on

his behalf. (Which I chalked off as a one time thing...I mean this dude is

on nada's payroll....he is NEVER going to do anything but stir the pot) When

my nada came over to my house (because I had to FOLLOW her there...because I

am such an idiot I can't find the doctor's office that is right next door to

my childrens' peditrician, right?) I knew I was going to have a long night..

..she had this really weird look on her face and she said " I wanted to tell

you I am sorry...a couple days ago when the two of you were over at our

house for dinner and I was talking to Chad I asked him what he thought about

this mess with what is going on overseas....I didn't mean not to include you

...I just know he listens to the radio all the time and I was trying to find

something to talk about. " Well...here is the story with that...we weren't

at her house for dinner....we were out in our backyard pulling weeds out of

our garden and she came over because she " had a question for us " ....she even

said " I need to talk to BOTH of you about something " ....after the question

was asked, I actually responded to her with my opinion....which was about a

10 minute disertation. Now she was apoligizing for leaving me out?? HUH??

Well I wasn't offended then....but NOW i was! She apparently didn't listen

to a word I said. I just rolled my eyes, grabbed my keys and hopped in the

car. (And drove AHEAD of her, which freaked her out....hahahahahaha!)

When I got there, before we ever even started I said " I want to clear

something up here...this is going to be a one time shot for me....I'm happy

to give you " our " point of view, but it's going to be a waste of time as the

problems that need to be corrected WON'T be corrected...as soon as I begin

to be stressed I'm walking out that door. " Keep in mind.... I was NC with

her until just a couple days ago....was this a " two birds one stone " thing

with her?? Absolutely!! She could be the " good mother " to her son...

helping " him with his therepy and " force " me to deal with her, all in one

shot. Gosh...it irritates me at how STUPID she thinks I am. As soon as the

session starts, she looks to me and says " well...i have a job for you " ....I

just looked at her...she spent the first 10 minutes of this therepy session

telling me that she talked to her old boss (she is a retired school bus

driver) and was thinking about going back to work...according to HER, her

old boss told her for she and I to go and get our CDL's and she could come

back to work....but she wants ME to go also....that way she can work 2 weeks

then I can work 2 weeks. I couldn't help it....I just started cracking up

laughing...I was like " no way!! no freaking way!! has hell frozen over??..

you want me to WORK with you?? Have you forgotten that I'm not even

accepting your PHONE CALLS? " So she looks at the doctor....all teary eyed

and I got the guilt trip about how she won't be able to afford anything now

because I won't help her(because I won't quit my job and become a bus

driver) and blah, blah, blah (classic BPD....she has QVC'd her way into

oblivion and now it is MY fault!) The doctor makes a comment about how

apparently BOTH of her children are selfish....to which I cut him off and

reminded him that our time was ticking away and my agreement was to come to

help my BROTHER and we spent the first 20 minutes talking about HER!!

Anyway....she tells the doctor about my brother's new girlfriend (hello....i

thought this was supposed to be about my BROTHER)....her name is and

my mother (who doesn't like ANY of my brother's girlfriends) spent about 6

hours the day before with this " new chick " at their house. It seems that

her car broke down, so she was waiting for the tow truck. Long story short.

...nada says... " so when I picked him (my brother) up from work, I told him I

spent a long time with your girlfriend today....she told me all kinds of

things....did you know that her previous boyfriend was a pot smoker like

you?....did you know that her father is from New Mexico?(which, according to

her makes him an illigal alien...a Mexican to be precise...and they all are

big time drug dealers) ....did you know that her mother's great-grandfather

used to be a marine and got injured in the war?...oh, I know sooooooo much

about her now....you would have DIED if you would have heard some of the

things she said to me...i know more about her than you do!! Did you ever

ask her about her boyfriends?? Don't you think it is funny that every last

one of them is better off now that she isn't around? Why do you think that

is?? Why do you always have to pick girls who drag you down? You always

pick girls who look like boys...they wear those baggy pants and have short

hair...why can't you just once bring home a girl who acts like a lady...who

dresses in pretty dresses and has a cute hair cut. " (She is thinking more

like Olivia-Newton 's character in the movie Grease) The entire time she

had this smirk on her face and was smiling and speaking so sweetly...almost

in a sing-songy " i know something you don't know " kind of tone. The doctor

was so proud of her too...literally patting her on the back for her

constructive criticism " ...I just sat there....totally disgusted. Finally he

said to me " so how do you think he took this " ? I just sat there and said

Did he jump from the car while you were driving down the road " ? She just

looked at me oddly and said " no " ...I said " well then, I think he took it

pretty good " . Oh...they were both ticked...I got a little bit of a dressing

down from the doctor whom I told off in about a New York minute...because he

really isn't helping the problem....he is compounding it. I made sure I

told him that if his encouragement of her behavior resulted in any negative

response from my brother I would have his creditials, and I left out of

there in a huff. I also dropped off a copy of eggshells along with a flyer

from the local college at his office a couple hours later...with the

suggestion that he may want to do a little homework before getting involved

with such a volitile situation...he clearly has no clue what he is dealing

with, and yes....I am filing a complaint with the state's attorney's office

and I have put in a request to the judge to MAKE my brother go to a COURT

APPOINTED doctor....not a doctor on HER books. (While I am thinking about it

....you know...she used to tell me " Oh, you would be surprised at all the

things I know about what you do and who you talk to....I know alot more than

you think I know " She would always deliver it with such a smirk too...did

anyone else ever have this happen?)

My question is...has anyone else had to deal with this kind of thing?? I

know BPD is something that is questionable with some doctors....but good

gosh...this guy is like the Dr. Kavorkian of psychologists. It's going to

be a long row to hoe as it is...because everything over there is

action/reaction and someone has to break the cycle to get a different

reaction. On my end, she has really stepped up the attacks....her " nosiness

has gotten worse...the lying is almost ridiculous...the accusations, the

trips to the emergency room because she is having a heart attack or stroke

(they hypochondria has almost gotten to a point where it outweighs the BPD)

the games....trying to play one against the other (between my husband and I)

....the rumors she is spreading are crazy and just getting crazier (she

actually went out to the elementary school that my daughter's used to attend

and told them that I drowned my oldest daughter and was on the run from the

law....she wanted to pick up my girls' medical records for the sheriff's

department.....the secretary she told it to has a daughter who cheers with

my older daughter, and I was at cheerleading camp with them that day and

just spoke with her...so that was just crazy) As soon as my phone rings,

she is over here yelling " who are you talking to? " ....i mean....it's NUTS...

she has attempted to cut off my phone, my cable, and my electric...but we

have been ready for all of it....before reading all of the books, all of

these things would have made me tear my hair out...but it has seriously not

bothered me this time around. Eventually we will find a buyer for our house

and move...so I am keeping my eye on the prize.

Kisses and Nibbles,

Bunny