Grandchildren (was arghh...need to vent)

[Guest guest]

Kathleen wrote: The question I have for the group is

this: Do you think there is some correlation between the nada's child fear of

abandonment and then wanting to take over the grandchildren? Is this a coping

mechanism for the abandoned child? That doesn't make sense. Let me rephrase

it. Is there a deal going on between her adult and her child in which the adult

becomes a psuedo parent in order to allay the abandoned child???

>>>>Interesting question. In my experience, I have battled with reverse roles

and enmeshment with my nada. I havent thought about her behavior from the

abandonment perspective. I assumed that her bizarre behavior was because she

wanted to BE me. However, now that you mention it, I can see a fear of

abandonment cropping up because I took care of her and played the role of mom,

and now I have an actual daughter who she might see as competition? Regardless,

the healthier we get, the more I think nada's fear of abandonment grows because

we no longer cater to the games.

BUtifulGrace

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