Guest guest Posted January 18, 2006 Report Share Posted January 18, 2006 Hi a and , It is great that your husbands are your support system, buddies, and backbone to help you tell the docs the aweful truth. That's all they can do really, help out both physcially by doing chores and house keeping and mentelly by making you feel stronger, more positive, and safe. Unfortunately, my husband cannot really express his feelings very well (many seem to have this problem) and tends to retract from anything that has to do with my illnesses. Now, mind you, I am a very independent woman, working for myself at home (although it's getting harder and harder without the prednisone), but it sometimes feels like he's disinterested. He supports all my decisions, but I have to make all of them by myself (he's like that with everything - e.g. buying our home (he did not even see it) - I make all the desicions in the household). On top of that, he acknowledges my pain and strength (he says: I could never manage all the pain and fatigue you do), but as soon as I ask him to massage me or complain, he'll say: WHEN are you going to the Mayo Clinic! - as if they have a magic pill over there that'll take away all my body issues. NOT. He's never come with me to one of my docs (he almost made me take the metro after a sleep study at 5:30 in the morning), he's never read anything about the illnessess I have (sarcoidosis & Fybro, and a lot the docs cannot explain at all), or the meds I took in the past (at some point I took 16 pills/day). He's promised me to go to my rheumatologist tomorrow - I am going to ask for tests and tell him I think it's my implants - but I am pretty sure he's going to brake that promise again. Don't know why. Seems the less he knows, the safer he keeps himself from worrying too much I suppose. I am glad your hubbies are such a good support though! I guess I have spoiled mine too much in the past - never had to do anything; from haning up the curtain rods, electricity, or refinishing the wood floors to taxes and cooking food I would do it all. Hard thing is, if I don't do it, he won't either. Oh well, we'll see what happens when my implants come out - maybe I will be back to painting the house in no time; sure hope so, cause I hate the current color of my bedroom and study (in which I work too). Have a great evening ladies. CHeers, Audrey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 18, 2006 Report Share Posted January 18, 2006 Hi Audrey, You're not alone in the uninvolved hubby department. Mine has come around (after I had the explant) but before he couldn't handle it, so I think he felt if he ignored it, it would go away. My problem was, when I would take charge of the situation, he would fight it, because he wanted all decisions to go through him, even though when I would try to discuss it with him he would ignore me. It was very frustrating. We drove from New Jersey to Ohio in just about complete silence, he seemed to dispise me. Two weeks after the surgery (on Thanksgiving) he was being nasty again and I just walked up the stairs after him, pointed a finger in his face and said " CUT THE CRAP!!! NO MORE!!! " . From that point on, he's been great - he said I snapped him out of it. My husband wouldn't have come with me for the explant if I hadn't held him to his promise to go with me. Sis > > Hi a and , > > It is great that your husbands are your support system, buddies, and > backbone to help you tell the docs the aweful truth. That's all they > can do really, help out both physcially by doing chores and house > keeping and mentelly by making you feel stronger, more positive, and safe. > > Unfortunately, my husband cannot really express his feelings very well > (many seem to have this problem) and tends to retract from anything > that has to do with my illnesses. Now, mind you, I am a very > independent woman, working for myself at home (although it's getting > harder and harder without the prednisone), but it sometimes feels like > he's disinterested. He supports all my decisions, but I have to make > all of them by myself (he's like that with everything - e.g. buying > our home (he did not even see it) - I make all the desicions in the > household). On top of that, he acknowledges my pain and strength (he > says: I could never manage all the pain and fatigue you do), but as > soon as I ask him to massage me or complain, he'll say: WHEN are you > going to the Mayo Clinic! - as if they have a magic pill over there > that'll take away all my body issues. NOT. > > He's never come with me to one of my docs (he almost made me take the > metro after a sleep study at 5:30 in the morning), he's never read > anything about the illnessess I have (sarcoidosis & Fybro, and a lot > the docs cannot explain at all), or the meds I took in the past (at > some point I took 16 pills/day). He's promised me to go to my > rheumatologist tomorrow - I am going to ask for tests and tell him I > think it's my implants - but I am pretty sure he's going to brake that > promise again. Don't know why. Seems the less he knows, the safer he > keeps himself from worrying too much I suppose. > > I am glad your hubbies are such a good support though! I guess I have > spoiled mine too much in the past - never had to do anything; from > haning up the curtain rods, electricity, or refinishing the wood > floors to taxes and cooking food I would do it all. Hard thing is, if > I don't do it, he won't either. Oh well, we'll see what happens when > my implants come out - maybe I will be back to painting the house in > no time; sure hope so, cause I hate the current color of my bedroom > and study (in which I work too). > > Have a great evening ladies. > > CHeers, > > Audrey > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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